My First Vision

My First “Vision of the Night” (June 1999)

‘“This Thing is from Me”’ (1 Kgs 12:24 NKJV)

            Before relating the content of my first vision, which is for a contextualizing basis for the eschatological prophetic expositions presented in this preluding blog post, some summary, pertinent background information will be helpful here to provide the proper temporal and spiritual context of it. (Disclaimer: There is indeed a pertinent contextual purpose with everything that has been included/related. (cf., e.g., CET 134.1))

Note: A copy of some of the documents/(events) cited in this post are available in this PDF document (= 296 pages|111 MB). (These are referred here as [D###] with the ###-number indicating the page(s) number in this PDF document.)

Liked Father’s, Like Son’s (Pro 22:6)

            Growing up, as far as I can recall[D146 (jape)], I was always greatly and jealously (i.e., “zealously” -cf. explanation in this post) interested in the Bible and the things of the Church.[1] In fact my mother constantly, still amazed, keeps retelling me, and others, how, (while frustratingly sitting out an entire school year because I was 2 months shy of being 6 by September to be allowed to register in the First Grade of the SDA School, and effectively/eventually too old for kindergarten [cf. the years in D119 (pre-K) vs. D168 (G1)]) I, not wanting to scholastically/intellectually fall behind, decided to teach myself to read, and that by reading the Bible! I do remember those learning efforts and, (after the below mentioned rote-based practising), ability demonstrations, (now beginning in Genesis 1). And though I really did not find it too complicated then, it probably was indeed amazing. It is actually not that: ‘I wanted to learn to read, so I read ‘a book like the Bible’’; but that: ‘I wanted to learn to read, so ‘what better book to read from than the Bible.’’ (Cf. Psa 119:130). I mean, I could have easily read from the interestingly illustrated set of Uncle Arthur’s 10-volume Bible Stories set that we owned. In more “pragmatic” reasons, reading from the Bible also gave me “springboarding” start by being able to self-guide my reading by first starting with passages that I knew by heart (e.g, “The Lord’s Prayer,” Psa 1 & 23, etc). That ultimately all probably reflected how I had been ingrained to value the things of God from my infancy, which had indeed already become a significant part of my cognitive makeup,[2] and that, in probing retrospect, was all directly attributable to the way I ‘markedly observed’ (1 Cor 11:1) my father[e.g. D165] highly value and unwaveringly, tirelessly, and most cheerfully, devote himself to the work of the Church. He seemed to always be involved, as a laymen/(First) Elder, in regular personal Bible studies, Church Planting, Lay Preaching/(effective) Pastoring and/or leading in prayer meetings, and if not, then attending virtually all extra-worship service meetings or concerts in the local area Churches, (and for such was recognizingly dubbed by some as “the Apostle Paul”). His self-recorded audio tape collection of the various events and sermons became also interesting to me, primarily then, at that young age at the fascinating thing of hearing an audio recording and virtually reliving that event. They indeed provided hours of Sacred, and character guiding/shaping/taming, entertainment for years growing up. Later on, that is as recently as this past September 2010, my father, who is now a formally recognized, (though, wrongly and unbiblically, non-paid) Lay Pastor in the Florida Conference, answering my further questions, related to me in more detail, (more than an initial, partial relating in 2000, after a statement I had then made in relation to my WBSC plannings then [cf. D77-D82ff, D112-D117 & D279],[3] self-manifestly fulfilled a climatic part in it), that ever since he [and (to those who it apparently would (though, substantively, irrelevantly) concern) whose middle name is Joseph] had had an, indeed, impressive dream in Jan/Feb 1970, during, as a 26-year old, a personal “crisis of capacity of service”, where, among other details in that dream, (which have all, by now, and that recently, been fulfilled exactly as they were (doubly applicably), expectedly, and thus intendedly stipulated, -pointedly in relation to the eschatological fulfillment of this prophecy), a majestic figure that seemed like Jesus had told him to ‘keep on being faithful in bringing Him his “little gifts”’, he, since that day has had this unrelenting motivation to continue to faithfully do all that he can do in God’s work, even if it was to continue to be in a Layman capacity. This all also resulted his quite striking enthusiastic and serious Lay work efforts to subconsciously have quite an impression on me[4], and although I was, character/psyche-wise, more like my mom, expressing itself in terms of being practical and technical[5], this observable genuine and unrelenting passion of my father for the work of God greatly and increasingly shaped my mentality.[6] In fact at one time, at ca. 10-12 years of age I began to contemplate becoming a pastor when I grew up[7], overshadowing my innate passion up to then for “mechanical” things.[8]

More Than Sport (Eccl 2:11)

            However, growing up, and while not actually losing my interest in the Church, just not extraordinarily advancing and pursuing it, starting in my late elementary, then secondary school years (Grade 6 - Fall 1986+), I became fascinated, after buying a fact book[D210] for the hometown Hockey team (Montreal Canadiens), by the interrelatedness in sports statistics. At first, sports to me was just a game and I did not have much interest in it, however, when I began to see its congruent, “scientific” and mathematical aspects, such as in play techniques and statistics, I then became quite interested in it. So I began to watch, record, read about, practice and play virtually every major sport and athletic discipline.[9] When I moved from Montreal[D145], Canada in the summer of 1990, virtually, leaving behind, in those pre-internet and, by family choice, no cable (ever) days, my then “be-liked” [I had many, Spiritually-entrenched, limits to “fan-aticism”] Montreal Expos (MLB) and Canadiens (NHL), I actually, literally came to triple my involvement in sports having moved to Miami, to having, additionally, then up and coming and quite exciting sports teams in the Dolphins (NFL), Heat (NBA) and Hurricanes (NCAA Football), among others that I followed. So my Grand Slam+ of Sports was then complete[cf. D175], and I became a quite, though serenely, dedicated, indeed, relatively always: ‘with paramount Biblical perspective’, sports fan, to the point that, and I could honestly, sincerely feel, that it greatly perturbed and worried my father. I guess, looking back now, watching 13+ hours of sports on an NFL Sunday, during the Baseball post-season, all after having watched a tape delay of the College Football game from the previous afternoon, was a bit lot much. (It sure did not help that all of these 5+2 teams that I closely followed had either their very best, some of their best, and/or their, excitingly, ever-improving, seasons during that time (1990-1995 [+1986-1989 for the Montreal teams]).[10]

Thorns for the Flesh (2 Cor 10:3-4)

            During all this ‘almost sports nut’ period, which lasted, at its “height” from ca. 1987-1994, but then began to increasingly, and drastically, wane from 1995-1997 as, it will be seen, my life was beginning to be consumed by another “Passion,” I was honestly also weary of not letting sports become an idol, (while on (rare) occasions being, most reluctantly, supporting[D166] -more for exercising reasons)[11], had repeatedly, seriously cautioned and warned. I just did not have much else to do then to invest both my teenage technical and energetic youthful passions. Also, although I was naturally, and/or with practice, an above-average athlete[cf. in D189] in, especially, the sports of: Hockey (Center)[cf. e.g. D179], Baseball (Pitcher/Centerfielder)[cf. D71, (D147)], Football (Wide Receiver/Kick Returner/Cornerback) and Track[D134] (100m|200m|400m|800m|1500m)[12], I actually, realistically still could not pursue a desire then to seek to become a professional athlete, even when I planned to use it as a “platform” to preach the (SDA) Gospel Truth, (particularly, naturally by my intended, would be noticeable, faithful Sabbath observance[13]), mainly because of one of two “thorns in the flesh” (2 Cor 12:7-10) that God, manifestly (#1), and admittedly (by Him) (#2), gave to/assumed upon, me. The applicable first “thorn”, practically, often, virtually completely offsetted my above-average athletic capabilities. So although I seriously trained to be, at least, a two-sport athlete, that quite odd first “thorn,” which I still haven’t figured out ever since I surprisingly “discovered” it in the first grade, when it had then caused me to almost dislocate my jaw in crashing headlong into the stage steps[cf. D201] just beyond the finish line of a foot race (which I would have (at least) finished 2^nd!!).[14]

Say It Ain’t So, Joes!?

            Anyway, in 1994, a single event really “spoiled” the euphoria of sports for me, when in the middle of the Baseball season, as my beloved Baseball team, the Montreal Expos had (objectively speaking) assembled raised up (i.e., from their farm system) one of the greatest (young) team in Baseball history, and that despite having the second lowest payroll of the league’s 28 teams, and, with their major league leading 74-40 record, were then  sitting in first place, on pace to win an amazing 105 games, (which, to put it in disappointment perspective, would then have been the 8th best record in the 100+ year history of Major League Baseball (4th best in National League history, -being in that league the highest win total since 1909)), the baseball team owners decided to do a lockout, and the remainder of the season and post season was completely scratched. Much, much more than the disappointment in the lost opportunity for a “World Series” Championship, the beginning of a dislike of sports was suddenly instilled in me when I then fully realized that Sports was actually also, and that, clearly now, overmasterfully, nothing more a capitalistic business! I really was appalled that Capitalism, which I innately hated, also had such power in what was to be pure fun and simply a game. I really did not know the full details of what Capitalism was, but I knew for sure that it was this manifested in such cold and heartless, “money first” ways. And I knew for sure that I hated it. Sure I had begun to see this as player salaries steadily, increasingly became (relatively) more and more obscene, but, all that I then, still obliviously and dismissively, really cared about was the Game! However when “the Game” came to a screeching halt because of money, that radically completely switched my view of it. I mean, after all, couldn’t these team owners here have waited until after the post-season had ended to do their lockout, even if it extended into the next season??!?

            So when everything came crashing down in the 1994 lockout, that pointedly brought home this nauseating reality. And by 1997, I couldn’t tell you that the Florida Marlins, a team I had previously, secondarily followed and rooted for, had, in just their 4th year of existence, won World Series although I was in Miami at the time, some 7 minutes (by car) away from the Stadium where the 7^th Game was played. (I actually had to double check this just mentioned info.[15]) I just could not care less by then. I had become interested in much more important things.

Heightened Learning (John 10:16)

            Around these latter times, during my early college years (1993+), I was interested in becoming an Electrical Engineer, having a great interest in Electronics. (Seeing that more and more mechanical things were being replaced by electronic components, I personally did not see much future in Mechanical Engineering, so I had made that subfield switch.)[16] However, as related in this blog post, starting with the incident related there, in ca. 1994, I began to engage in this pursuit of Spiritual/Church things by now having suddenly switch my secular music collection for a wholly Christian one. That really was the ‘turn of the key’ for me in this ongoing spiritual journey, because, beyond the praise, worship, fellowship and Holy Fun that I had in playing my growing collection of Christian Music, watching Christian music videos on TV (Praise TV), attending concerts[e.g. D131, D154] and music festivals, as this was occurring by the vast majority in non-SDA circles, I was also then beginning to personally realize how sincere non-SDA’s really were in their Christian Faith.

My One-Thousandth Word (Hab 2:2)

            Also around this time, although I had attended several SDA Evangelistic efforts when I was young, due to the way in which it was merely a spoken-word presentation back in the 1980's and early 90's, especially in the French Quebec Conference where I had grown up, I, in my youthfulness, being more interested in the Bible Stories than other aspects of it, I really did not grasp any of what was being said in these prophecy seminars. In fact by the age of 12, I had read through the Bible and Uncle Arthur’s 10 Volume Bible Stories set 2 and 3 times, respectively, yet I could only recall what I had read in the Bible Stories books. It probably was all the pictures that fixed these stories upon my mind. Well in a similar way, it was not until, then itinerant evangelist, Jim Gilley (currently 3ABN’s President) came to my then Church in Miami, Florida in 1995 and presented a Prophecy series using his dynamic 3-screen megaprojection that I actually began to, for myself,  “see the light” in the Adventist message beyond, really solely, my best-, if not only-, grasped tenet up to then that ‘we were right in worshiping on the Seventh Day.’[17] From that time of Gilley’s meeting, I became more excited and interested about my faith. I also simultaneously began to yearn to intelligently and convincingly share it with others. In fact this “profusing excitement” increasingly began during the series itself, to the point where I managed to convince a nominal Christian co-worker to attend, albeit one meeting.

"You're The Voice" (Acts 26:19)
-A pertinent personal tithing & ministry initiating experience - Read here.

On the Mark!!... (Dan 12:3)

            Then in the fall of 1996, a watershed moment in my spiritual journey, and also, life, took place when Mark Finley’s Net ‘96 series was carried by my, and other, local Churches in my area. Wanting to, this time capture what I was watching, unlike the 1995 meeting, I recorded the screen presentation of the opening night’s meeting with my camcorder. Seeing what I was doing, the Pastor, bless his Godly heart, a Romanian, offered me to record the feed straight from the satellite receiver in the A/V room with a (my) VCR. I was completely blow away. So from the next meeting up through the end, I captured the presentations in this high quality way. (I still have these VHS recording). In the months following that series, I replayed these exciting, concretely presented, and quite convincing/convicting sermons. By the middle of the series, I was so excited by what I myself was newly learning, even as a 22-year SDA that I had to get some of my Christian and “seeker” friend to also hear this. I managed to get three of them to attend. (However they only came to a total of 4 meetings between them.).

‘The Beginning of the End (The End of Beginning)’ (Dan 9:24)

            The watershed moment for me within this watershed moment of Net ‘96, came when Mark Finley present the 2300-day Prophecy. I knew priorly that this was a great prophecy in Adventism, however I then did not know it in detail, if at all, nor understand, much of it fulfillment events and chronological precisions. So in this meeting, which my enthusiasm for this prophecy had convinced two of my friends to accompany me to this presentation, I was probably more shocked and awed by the incredible precision in the prophecy than they were. They probably overhead me repeatedly thinking: “Wow!” throughout the presentation. From that day I knew that this was precisely the kind of “Proof” that I needed to help convince the other Christians that I would regularly mingle and worship with at Christian Music Events. However because the presentation of this prophecy inevitably dealt with the infamous and controversial “Great Disappointment”, I felt reticent about “introductorily” sharing it. Corroborating my reticence was my questioning then as to why this, at least, ‘most precise and Christocentric 70 Week Prophecy was not more prominently, spearheadingly, evangelistically presented to others by SDA’s. In fact, in the light of this prophecy which now to me most concretely confirmed that I was a member of the True Church, it is then that I inceptively asked the question: ‘What then is the problem with the Church??’ I.e., why were we not much more, at least, fully confident about our “Divine Calling/Appointment”, which sequiturly would naturally show itself in unapologetic and bold witnessing. My denominational course of events in the next months and then years gradually, fully answered that question, in a personally most awakening way. 
            Nonetheless, being personally anchored by this prophecy from that point on, I set out to help them see the great truths of Seventh-day Adventism, and prepared video tapes, (from the ca. 200 (6-8 hour) VHS tapes of sporting event recordings that I had priorly collected (1990-1995)), on several of these “distinctive truths” presentations of Net ‘96, such as the ones on the Sabbath, the State of the Dead, Revelation’s Babylon, the Mark of the Beast, the U.S. in Bible Prophecy, among others[D194-D196]. And then, at every friendship-based opportunity that I had, I gave a copy of these tapes to people who were, or had become, interested in Biblical Truth. (For some people who I felt could “fully handle it”, I included part of the ‘70 Weeks’ Presentation. However, about a year later, as it will be related, I saw and felt that: straightly, (even if only), starting with this Messianic 70 Weeks Prophecy was really the best (i.e., cornerstone) & bridge-building approach for my Ministry to reach other Christians with the Truth.).

♬On the Road Again♪

            In the Spring of 1997, I decided that I was going to meet in person (again), someone who had become one of my favorite Christian music artists/ministers, [the, by now, married, (thus former)] Rebecca Jean Smallbone[D219, D220] (known by the “stage name” Rebecca St. James, -now also an actress -see this contra-abortion movie), and this time give her a copy of this series along with a copy of the Desire of Ages, which by then, I had read from cover to cover, (a first for me of an EGW book), and had found it to be most fascinating. I thought that despite its extra-biblical inspired statements and commentary, it would surely interest any sincere Christian. This was also done out of a motivation/objective of, (as counselled in the SOP in ChS 203.2), ‘contacting influential non-SDA Christians with the Biblical Truths of the Bible, in hope that they would, if/when convinced/convicted of them, share them with their audience’, -with Rebecca St. James indeed having a very deliberate teaching ministry, even during her concerts.[18] So on April 25 & 26[19] I attended the Ichthus (=“Fish”) Christian Music Festival in Wilmore, KY (17 miles SW of Lexington)[20], held just up the road from the Asbury University & Seminary. Had a great time there, including driving trip. Long-distance road trip had long been customary to me growing up[e.g., D155] and now, since having my own car, such prolong car driving/traveling had also become a personal passion of mine. In fact the summer before I had done a 32-day, 13-States/Provinces, 23-cities, 8600-mile road trip across the Mid-Eastern and Eastern parts of the U.S. and Canada, also visiting at Andrews University and the Adventist Village in Battle Creek during the trip[e.g., D202-D205 (some photos are from other year visits to those present trip-visited cities)]. So this ca. 2050+-mile trip to Kentucky and back, (including an excursion to nearby Cincinnati, Ohio[D75a] where I attended the local SDA Church[D75b] on that Saturday morning; along with other places of personal interest[e.g., D76] on the way back), was really nothing for me. I, then, actually needed a (road trip) vacation anyway. It was also probably the fact that my car, a 1989 (completely digital displays[cf. e.g., D226] and powered controls, leather interior[cf. D227], among other (then) advanced/luxury features) Nissan Maxima (thanks to God for allowing me to have my “dream car,”[D66] -as it retrospectively turned out, He got that out of the way, and ala. Matt 6:33, -though all in “foreplanning”, electing expectation, though I would basely consider trading this all for the other costs, trials and privations that this endeavor has carried, attracted and necessitated), had by then become literally a high-end, concert hall, jukebox on wheels with the 700+ Watts, 14-speaker, CD, Mini-Disc and 100- (Home) CD-Changer (more on this later), car stereo system with a digital equalizer that I had managed to install in it,[e.g., D74] and was all dedicated to only playing Christian Music, although the “good songs” of, up to, 1995 Mariah Carey and 1996 (partly) Céline Dion, managed to get some “air play” (but only, literally ca. 0.5% of the time). So, in this way, my long road trips would pleasingly, unassumingly go by, as I was more engrossedly immersed in the listening of my Christian CD collection, then being over 300, (currently over 431[D122]), than noticing the miles go by.

‘How About These Others??’ (Matt 9:37, 38)[D105ff]

            Now as I sat in the crowd at the Ichthus Festival, with over 18,000 people there,[D1a] inwardly glad that I was about to share Biblical Truth, when that Voice suddenly, clearly spoke to me, saying something in the line of: ‘How about these other people??’ Indeed, here I had driven all this way and brought these Net ‘96 presentations and the Desire of Ages book for a single person, yet all of these other people indeed also needed to hear of these truths. I somewhat felt like the little boy who had brought his lunch to a meeting of Christ’s, however I could not miraculous have these documents be multiplied here. So as I drove back home from that meeting, having given the evangelistic package to the intended recipient during a post-concert autograph signing session,[D1b] I could not help but keep on thinking, and trying to figure out, how can I manage to accomplish this larger scale truth sharing need/task. Indeed all of these people needed, and likely would be glad, to hear of these truth.

Brain Drain (Psa 119:130)

            As I crunched the numbers, I began to see that this would be a costly initiative, way beyond my personal finances. Oddly enough, I then thought that only a pastor would have such “disposable income” for such an effort. By this time, all the while having been studying Electrical Engineering, I actually was becoming increasingly mythed by all of the, (to me), abstract “wild” math and “weird” science that was involved in this field as seen in the Calculus, Differential Equations and Physics for Engineers courses that I had/was taking. I was interested in Electrical (actually Electronic) Engineering mainly for the application/inventive side of the field. I was however quite bored by how much of the basics one had to learned for this field. I constantly could not help but thinking all the time, “who in the world actually uses these things?”[21] I just wanted to get to the practical/applicational aspects of this field. That was indeed where my interest lied.[22] I certainly was not interesting to “reinvent the wheel” or learn how it was developed and (effectively) has worked, but finding new or improved applications in which to ‘attach and role the wheel.’[23] In fact, when I noticed in 1994 that it was possible to copy the content of a music CD onto the hard drive of a computer (as my friend did with a CD of mine onto his Apple computer), I immediately, because of my need for such a capability for my CD collection, began to muse about getting a computer hard drive to work in my car, all the while mythly keeping on wondering why makers of computer had not done this already. If I had had the technical means, money and business info then, and patented it, I would have invented the first I-Pod around 1995, thus ca. 5 years before Steve Jobs. Oh well... However it was such things, which made me see more and more that, evidently, money was also so much “king” in the field of Electronics that it actually stifled rapid practical development, preferring to move along in a worshipfully infantile, hopscotching manner, clearly solely because, before moving forward with a new technologies, these companies first need/prefer to make enough money from their prior inventions/models. (I have increasingly become more convinced that these companies indeed “milk” consumers whenever competition sanctionedly allows them to.[24] By the Summer of 1997, I was completely blase with Engineering/Electronics. However my desire for large-scale evangelism kept on growing. I had kept on giving out, still in a friendship context, copies of the Net ‘96 tapes that I had made. However also by this time, I was also becoming myth by how dead my 1200-member, “rich”, home Church was in outreach and evangelistically.

My First of Posts (Jer 36:27, 28ff)

            Back in February of 1997, in a North America Division Edition of the Adventist Review, Andy Nash had written an article entitled ‘Net ‘98: A Friendly Dare,’ speaking of how the upcoming Net meetings in September/October of 1998, targeting Gen Xers could seek to be more attractive and interesting for this audience. Having by then been quite involved with the Contemporary Christian Music scene and by now being quite convinced of the Christian genuineness of the many artists that I followed, I sent a response letter to the Review suggesting how during Net ‘98 we could invite some of these artists, respecting their leadership gifts, to come and sing on our planned global stage; of course with “unplugged”/acoustic versions of their many great songs, as many of them already had/did in certain concert settings. I felt that this would be a great way to help them know SDAs better, and our message, and would vice versa help interest and attract young people to the meeting and to make these artists more widely known. The Review greatly liked the communication and its was one of 12 letters published in the April 1997 (NAD) edition of the magazine, albeit in a quite condensed, 2-summarized paragraphs, form, considering that my original letter was 3.5 pages long.[D2 - Miami, Florida entry] Then in May of 1997, I sent a similar copy of that suggestion letter to Net ‘98's speaker: Dwight Nelson[cf. D206a].

Career Life Turn (1 Cor 13:11)

            By this month of May 1997, then having had opted to pursue my goal to become an Electrical/Electronics Engineer through the more practical courses and training offered at a Technical/Vocational School[D136], as I had, however, also increasingly become more of a personal evangelist[cf. e.g., D157-D161 (draft)] than a student, with a core, increasingly interested, questioning, and variously convicted audience of 8-10 class/school-mates, (including a barely “nominal” SDA), with the instructor occasionally chiming in, I now decided to take things into my own hands and pursue becoming a full-time evangelist, all really so that I can fulfill the “need” that I had been strongly impressed with while at that Ichthus Festival a month before.[25] So I announced to my parents that I was going to study for the ministry and I proceeded to apply to the SDA Canadian Union College (now Canadian University College) CAUC[D148], in College Heights, Alberta, Canada. With Canada being my home country, I was paramountly excited to return there, after by then 7 years of living in the, variously, culture-shockedly, different, United States.

...But Frankly Speaking... (Isa 58:1)

            My application to CAUC was accepted by July 10[D149, cf. D150-D153], and for July 12, I had accepted an open opportunity to be one of 3 young persons to preach during a youth day, and preached my first sermon, at my Home Church. It dealt with the Josiah reforms after his startling discovery of their discarded/ignored Bible then (2 Chr 34:19, 29-33 & 35:1, 2[D95-D104], also still have the audio tape). Summarily, succinctly said, the sermon urged, inclusively the youth, lay people and leadership, to engage in more outreach activities to ‘seek to reach out to fellow Christians and others who were “so honestly ignoring” the truths we had’, especially as we were such a, variously, “well-off” Church. Despite the honestly unavoidable “sheep-shearing” tone of the sermon, which even surprised me because that is not how I had composed it, or envisioned/practiced delivering it. It must have been the first round of early Amen at some the reprimanding/rebuking points that I was making that irked me, making me wonder: ‘Then why aren’t you all already doing this?!?’ Despite the understood silence for the rest of the sermon, to my surprise, the sermon was expressedly quite well received, across the board.[D69] I guess they did indeed need that reality check call as I had perceived while preparatorily reading that Josiah story intending it solely for the youth.[26] In fact, the next week, the Church’s Senior Pastor, for whom I had also had a heightenedly, pointedly, though still veiledly, delivered line in the sermon[D100 line 20-24] “came back” with a sermon on ‘what constitutes a dead church’ and based on an application of the healing of the paralytic in Mark 2:1-12 showed how ‘Church members should actively endeavor to assist the leadership in the Church’s work.’[27]

Unloading for the ‘Impressive Journey’ (1T 594ff)

            Now by late August 1997, I had managed to sell much of my “accumulated possessions” paid by my four years of work at a great job where I had made (and wholly spent, -though, as I have kept and filed ca. +97% of my expense receipts since 1992, can account for al of these spendings) a total of ca. $36,000 in a mostly, quite flexible/conceding, quasi-part time work, while I was also then attending School.[28] Most of the things that I decided to “unload” including, my car (the weekend before I left), (seamlessly) signing over, through the loaning bank, the remaining half of its payments[cf. D184] to the buyer, with most of the components from my stereo, were things that I would not be needing and/or taking with me to College and would probably become obsolete technologically by the time I returned to use them.[29] Then on the morning of Wednesday, August 27 my parents set off to drive me half way to my Western Canada destination.

Destine-ation Re-Routing (~Acts 9:3)

            Now while on the way there[cf. D180a picture taken during that trip], on the night of that first day, I had been impressed to prayed about the suggestion that I had made to Dwight Nelson and the PMC Church about Net ‘98.[D3-D6] So I silently prayed about it asking that God’s perfect will be done. Then the next day, while driving through Alabama, as I was retelling my parents of the parts in my 8600-mile road trip the previous year when I stopped at the Andrews University campus, my mother suddenly, interrupting me, and matter-of-factly saying: “If I were you, I would go to Andrews instead”; to which my father immediately, joyfully and gleefully enjoined “Yeahhhhh... that’s true!!!” Considering my out-of-the-blue impression, and my subsequent prayer, the night before, and even more strikingly, knowing how my father was overcautiously slow to, and defaultly in opposition to making and taking major changes and decision, (to the point where it had become, and still is, an enduring/running joke in the family that my father always, defaultly says “No” to any/every-thing, yet literally all of those major decisions, when he was eventually convinced to agree with them, have been the best choice that could have been made, as he later also would confess (actually, all except for one still most beneficial “No”)), even in non-spontaneous situations, particularly in temporal matters,  which the decision to go to Andrews, being ultimately a financial one, as presumedly all SDA Religion Departments were the same, (or should be); and as this would be a costlier choice for my parents who would be paying for my tuition as, in the late 1990's the Canadian dollar was worth ca. $0.65 cents U.S. and so, by going to a SDA University in the U.S. they would lose this 35% exchange rate advantage, I, as well as my most surprised, mother could only see this quick and knowingly resolutely agreement as some sort of “sign” from God (also, for me, an implicit response to my prayer the night before). And so when I said okay to this proposal, readily seeing the great opportunity to being on the campus where Net ‘98 was going to take place, (yet not too thrilled that I would not be returning then to my home country of Canada), we continued on the way, this time re-routing towards Andrews at the proper highway junction.[30] As Andrews then started in late September, being on a quarterly schedule, thus ca. 1 month after CAUC which was on a semester schedule, I had plenty of time to have my applicable CAUC documents forwarded to Andrews which readily processed them, and accepted me. I spent that month in Montreal, at then vacant rental home of my parents, deliberately, purposefully passing that time.[31] By late September (29), 1997, I was settled in at Andrews, fully ready for the start of classes the next day.

Elect Electives (Psa 139:16)

            Luckily for me, with all of the Electrical Engineering schooling that I had done in Florida, I only needed to take Religion/Theology classes at Andrews, having met the two years worth of my required electives. I was extremely pleased by that, because by this time I really loathed non-spiritual things and greatly dreaded having to take a “secular” class then. It was also a tremendous financial savings as my schooling in Florida, half of it having been covered by scholarship, was much less than that of Andrews. I was here also seeing how God had led in the past and thus far in this ministry journey.

From House to Den (John 2:17)

            Well, to now make a potential long segment short, as related in this blog post, it did not take long, ca. 6 days, for me to, for various capitally indicative reasons, become increasingly disillusioned with Andrews. The overarching “excessive straw” for me was the approach to Pastoral Ministry that was being used. Although I really wanted to be an Evangelist rather than a Pastor, I had accepted the fact that I would still need to take the full Pastoral Ministry curriculum. However what I could not begin to validate was the fact that I was being taught to, indicatively enough, properly: e.g., say “hello” and to “sing” in key in Greek; not to mention, (as observed): e.g., ‘having proper guttural pronunciations for Hebrew.’ Considering that Greek and Hebrew were a major part of my curriculum, that all greatly annoyed me. (Sure, learning should be fun, however this is not kindergarten). Again being more technically practical, I rather wanted learn how to accurately translate the Bible into English from its original languages. So I absolutely didn’t, and still don’t today, notwithstanding all that I have since then learned about Greek and Hebrew, care, nor see as necessary to learn about features of these languages which in a Biblical context, i.e., where the text would not change, nor would one be required to ever, with any significance, if for any reason at all, write/compose it out again, especially by freehand, in a Gospel ministry context, including even scholarly circles. So I just could not see why so much time, effort, energy and draining “brain strain” was being so “religiously” devoted to master these futile aspects.

            Also, probably more unique and specific to Andrews, it was manifestly clear that not much scholarship updating work was being done by my professors. It was clear that they were simply regurgitating what they had learned some 20-30 years before when they were in Theological school themselves. Probably in the same building. Moreover, I had come to Andrews to get definite answers to help me in my ministry goal, however here, for over $18,000 per year, I was getting much more questions and ambiguousness than any concrete answers to my various Biblical and Theological questions. I had expected, as it should have been the case, such a highly valuated education would provide me with spiritually wise and discerning professors who were dedicated to resolve all known issues. Instead I was getting an all-you-can-eat buffet of multiple views/choice lectures accompanied by many shrugging shoulders and blank looks at my questions. I’ll pass on the details of other manifested, but less theological, counterintuitive pet peeves. Anyway, by October 17, 1997, just 19 days into the school year, I had had enough.

“...Like The Leaves of Autumn...” (Ev 35, 36)

            On Oct. 20, spurred on by a recently discovered (back on Oct. 7, -certainly non-coincidentally, the very next day after the “smoke” incident related in this post), “heaven-highlighted and emphasized” admonition in the SOP in Ev 35, 36 (from Letter 296 (1904)), which uncannily, almost verbatim, and surely thematically, echoed the Christian Music Festival ministry that I was longing to accomplish, I put most of my belongings in storage and proceeded to leave campus, heading back to Florida, with only what I needed to begin to set up this ministry. By then, for my intended Non-SDA Christian audience, I had formulated a plan to write a message sharing magazine that would cover some of the major teachings of the SDA Church, and that is a Christocentric way.[32] All of these teachings would be anchored by the most convincing, Messianic, 70-Week prophecy. Since I obviously was not going to get the “fruit” that I needed from this deceptively pretentious “fig tree” of Andrews (cf. DA 580–588); and since, as I had hoped, I could use the money of my tuition to fund this preparation and starting part of this ministry, I saw that it was better for me to leave the campus. Frankly the only thing that I was going to greatly miss from AU was my free, over-the-air, access to the 3ABN Station on campus.

            My homeroom professor (K.M.) tried to get me to stay with various discouraging arguments, most notably, “sincerely(?)” asking me if I knew what an aorist was??  (Admittedly, I did not, then, however, as it will be discussed later, before too long it was I who was wondering and asking, ‘if any of them,’ more importantly, ‘knew how to accurately translate an aorist???’[33]

Do It Again... [If Necessary] (Psa 25:2-5)

            Backtracking a little here: Recalling on one hand, the timely, providential guidance, as related above, through which God had “redirected” me to Andrews, but seeing on the other hand the great urgency of this ministry vs. the 2+ years of academic work that would first need to be done, I was not too sure as to which of these two, respectively, spiritually and substantively, “God-ordained” roads to follow, so like Gideon, I placed a fleece before God. Having experienced the power of God to respond in a timely, I determined that just like God had intervened to direct me here, I was going to pack my belongings and make the plans and travel arrangements to leave, and if He wanted me to stay, then He had intervene at any time before I left. No such opposing manifestation came, with, quite to the contrary, an indirectly supporting one in my grandfather[D132 (b.1921)], who, after he was not able to regain his health after developing cancer ca. 2 years before, passing away, at the age of 76. Being the oldest of his grandsons, and with the funeral going to take place in Haiti, thus probably not going to be attended by many of his grandchildren who all live in North America, I therefore, felt that I had to be present there. (Indeed only 2 of his 17 grandchildren were able to attend). And so that news served as a clinching reason for me to leave Andrews.

A-Plan (Jud 5:23)

            So I was now back in Miami Florida, and after the short trip to Haiti for the funeral[D140], I immediately became fully engrossed in attempting to establish my ministry, actually planning to return to Andrews in January because it was inevitable to me that I would still need a pastoral degree and its income to properly conduct and fund this outreach ministry full-time once I had now finished setting it up. However since my planned magazine was, on top of sharing the Adventist message, going to be an advertising venue for various major SDA Ministries, on Oct. 30 I mailed out letters to all of these considered ministries sharing with them in detail my ministry plan,[D7-D11] mentioning the SOP “inspiration” for it. My worked out plan then was for a ca. 5-month itinerary (March 22-Aug 31, 1998), advertisingly leading up to Net ‘98, covering about 100 concerts and 11 Music festivals with a projected distribution of ca. 300,000 of these magazines. I also related the intended content of the magazine, the planned approach and method for distribution with the potential help of local SDA youth, by my careful calculation, with my parents being able to pay for my planned minivan rental and gas, (especially, I figured, with the money that I was now saving them), I would need only ca, $1400 to cover other traveling expenses.       

            I also told them of my plans to attend the Mission College of Evangelism, (then in Black Hills, SD) to take their 3-week Public Literature Evangelism training program in preparation for this ministry. All I really needed from these ministries was the backing and support to pay for the publishing of these magazine, intended to be freely distributed “like the leaves of autumn” (Ev 36), all the while allowing for any donations. Furthermore, these costs would surely be generally recovered in the expected increase in the sales of the books being advertised in it.

Strewn Obstacles (EW 81-83)

            Having mailed my letters to ca. 10 of these major ministries, I then started the task of writing the content for the magazine by undertaking to write out a summary article on the anchoring 70 Week prophecy as it undeniably, transparently and accurately proved the Messiahship of Jesus Christ. So, based on materials I had from various SDA ministries, I set out to compose it. However, it did not take long for me to have a halting question which I absolutely needed to concretely answer, at the very least for myself, because if, I, myself was not convinced of the concrete and factual veracity of what I was presenting, then how, and why, should I expect other to be so. This first question was ‘how do we know for sure that this precise chronological prophecy started in the Fall of 457 B.C.?’ None of the resources I had then had the answer. So I went to my local ABC and bought a couple of books that dwelt on the Great Second Advent Movement. However, they also did not have the answer. Neither did, nor would, the satellite Net Events that were going on at that time, namely Doug Batchelor’s Storacles of Prophecy and Kenneth Cox’s Hope Beyond 2000 series. So I decided to skip that first interpretational obstacle and move along in the prophecy. However the same thing happen over and over again with other points/issues. I kept on meeting with more claims for which I could not find proper, proving substantiations, if any, at least in my local area. (As it would turn out, all but really one of the actual concrete, conclusive and transparent answers that I was pointedly looking for (cf. here) were not, and would not be, available anywhere in the Church, neither in any publication nor evangelistic presentation.)

Decisions, Decisions (Mar 7:8-9)

            Starting on December 8, 1997, I finally started to get responses to my request letters to these SDA Ministries. The 5+ letters[34] that I eventually received by January 5, 1998 were quite approving and encouraging of the ministry idea itself, but they all did not accept to assist me.[D12-D17] The early refusal letters did not discourage me because, by then, having returned to the Andrews Campus on December 28, 1997, I had obtained a copy of the full EGW’s Letter 296[D18-D23] and saw by many statements in the full content that I was on the right and Godly, if not also, prophetic side and path, as EGW made statements such as: ‘she here was given instruction (i.e., by God) in regards to the warning that must be given to the world.’ She also went on to state how ‘our large books should have a wider circulation’ which was precisely what I was planning to do through the magazine.[35]

            I had also sent a letter to the NAD President, which was forwarded from the desk of the absent Elder Alfred Mc Clure to the then vice president for Evangelism for the NAD, Elder Cyril Miller. In the eventually processed response,[D17] he proceeded to give me a most constructive response with such ideas as ‘contacting certain SDA publishers to see if they would fully undertake the magazine printing’ and ‘to work with ABC’s to set up booths at these festivals.’ In fact, later on Feb 26, he informed me that he was going to present the idea to the ABC Committee that next day; however nothing eventually came from that attempt.[D26] So to here make a long, and quite trying, 3-month odyssey short, I, full-throttledly endeavored during these days to follow up on these suggestions and applicable variations/improvements thereof, also having serious discussions and magazine template submissions with Pacific Press’ Signs Magazine.[D24, D27-D42]

Whatever... (Mar 7:5-7ff)

            However, as oppositions began to basely and without basis rise up, a significant development that betrayed to me that something was, at least spiritually, not right in all of this was when the NAD’s youth ministry director, Jose Rojas, came to Andrews for a weekend series. He related in one of his sermons how a group of Gen Xers from Andrews had approached the NAD with an evangelism project that would involve 4 young people traveling, across the U.S. and holding (as then stated/inceptively planned) public outdoor music and artistic performance for kids and young people in various public locations such as mall parking lots, etc. The whole thing sounded like what I had been suggesting to the NAD and although I did not think that my idea had been ripped off by, specifically, those young people on campus, I was still mythed, to say the least at what was said next. He announced that they were going to partially fund and help raise this $100,000 (or was it $300,000?) project, which turned out to involve as major acquisitions purchasing an extended pickup truck and a long trailer. The project named YouthNet eXtreme (cf. this 2000 Adventist Review article) soon had received all of its funding and support, and the painted on, advertising endorsement of various NAD Youth and Adult ministries. Thanks a lot! Although this was a blow to me and my efforts (to actually plant a much more significant quality of “truth seed”), inside I could only laugh at this, because I knew that somehow God would not let this spiritually base and unjust decision stand. The times surely needed much more than ‘a song, a homily and a puppet show.’

            I cannot say with certainty if Rojas was himself personally aware of my plans, however (a) being from the NAD leadership and given the similitude between my project and this one, also similarly going through the NAD leadership, at the very least, it, should have received the same, collaborating-ministries support.

From ‘Coup de Grace’ to Favor Coup (Isa 54:17)

            By March 1998, having had to unload my class load so that I could focus on completing the article content of my magazine, especially as my professors were not much help to some of the “concrete proof” questions that I had towards this end, I had indeed managed to complete this texts, however foregoing the answering of the questions that I still had and that no SDA resource could adequately answer. I had also completed a full blown layout of the magazine including the titles of all of the pertinent topical books that I planned to share. However I found no takers, nor supporters, for even solely the printing of the magazine. The “final nail” came on March 12, 1998 with a final refusal from Dale Galusha (Director) of the Signs ministries/magazine,[D43] of course with a “courteous”: “May God bless you” send off, and all that despite my concession in a March 1 letter to now sell the magazine for $3.00 to cover its printing costs. I had priorly even met Signs editor Marvin Moore in person when he was at Andrews back on Feb. 14, and had discussed this planned magazine with him, and he had, interestedly, said that: ‘if it was a one time thing that Signs would consider publishing it.’[D27] Yet nothing concrete came from all of this. Having by then, resolved to stay and complete my formal studies at Andrews, despite having wanted to attended, and been accepted at, the Mission College of Evangelism,[D25] fully realized and understood the great contribution that such an accomplished ministry task would make if it was done as planned before the upcoming Net ‘98 series, I still continued to try to accomplish the ministry, now also resuming my classes, with my writing study and compositional work having been completed.

            Evidently God Himself had not said His last word. On April 5, 1998, while walking back from visiting the off-campus ABC Store, on the main road through Berrien Springs, in front of the Campus (Old US-31 [US 139]), I was impressed by God in His, by then, unmistakable and common voice, to ‘keep on walking towards the farther campus entrance road’ (College Ave. - where the Lake Region Union Conference Building was located), bypassing my then preferred, shortcutting, immediate first road that I was going to take (the then existing W. Locust Ln)[D120-D121]. All the while, as I was heeding this impression, I reactionarily was thinking in regards to the felt giddy pressing insistence in this Voice and its instruction: “What’s the big deal God, the other street is still on my way back towards the dorm, (thus not really a detour, being another campus entering option). Well, when I reached that second road, College Ave., just as I was about to turn into the street, I, almost inevitably, peripherally noticed, and then almost instantly, dumfoundedly, squarely gawked towards, an open lot across the street, at, specifically, a minivan, a Dodge Caravan, that was being displayed for sale. A former Andrews student living in the Berrien Springs area was selling it. By the next day, with the help of my parents, I completed the purchase of the well-kept, 1988, $3,600 sale price, minivan.[D67] It was exactly what I had asked/needed for my ministry.

No Takers (Luke 18:8b)

With this major ministry need having been met, I then endeavored to achieve my already laid out plans, and greatly motivated by this God-guided turn of events, I saw a feasible ministry opportunity in the upcoming annual Dove Awards to be held on Thursday, April 23, 1999 at the Nashville Arena. Although I was not quite ready, I indeed saw an opportunity to fulfill the Ev 35, 36 mandate with the (presumed) ca. 20-25,000 people that were going to be attending this event. So in a last minute flurry to try to do something during this event, in the week of April 12-18, I contacted the local Lake Region Union Conference Home and Health Services Department, and proposed them a plan to provide some 10,000 (100 cases) of Darkness Before Dawn booklets for free distribution, planning to reimburse their cost from prospective profits of the planned ministry for that summer.[D45] However my request fell on completely deaf ears and there were no takers for this recently confirmed, “end time”, faith initiative. And so I had to cross this event off of my ministry plan.

Not Quite Right...
            By April 24, I had manage to convince to local ABC to loan me (with a signed check as surety) some choice Message and Prophecy books to set up a vending station at the upcoming Ichthus Festival, the same which I had attended and where this ministry idea was born exactly one year before. However the great, last minutes, pressure and exhaustion due to the sleepless flurry in getting adequately ready for this festival, on top of the stressful 600-mile overnight drive there[36], with the personally quite discouraging fact that I was not going to be able to present this message in the tactful way that I had planned, really quenched my desire to set up my make-shift, on-the-spot-permitted, off-campground, but facing, street vending booth. So I disappointedly didn’t proceed to do so, yet all the while oddly feeling the fully understanding approval of God for having done, on my side, all that I could, leading up to this, in order to “properly” do this, as originally envisioned.

...Neither In Its Due “Light” (1 Thes 5:21-22)

            Two weeks later, I attempted to do a second festival on my own. This time however, still not having my preferred Christocentric magazine, I only brought along copies of the Desire of Ages, (in my preferred/appealing Remnant Publication edition/printing) along with some Darkness Before Dawn booklets, to sell.[D178] Still I was substantively not fully comfortable with also this approach, (with, personally, absolutely nothing against SOP works), and after driving all night to get to the Agape Festival at the Bounty County Fairgrounds in Greenville, IL,[D46] actually falling asleep at the wheel for who knows how long and “miraculously” not ramming the car in front of me, that I had not seen at all previously, whose now, oddly enough, suddenly brighter, braking red lights (despite being in the passing lane!) as I had unknowingly almost driven right up against its rear bumper, actually managed to wake me up, I also chose not to proceed to sell these books, as such, here either.

Summer Multi-Task (Matt 6:33)

            I then, with the unsurmountable obstacle of not having my magazine published, abandoned trying to go to the remaining festivals on my planned itinerary then and instead began to focus on completing a more detailed, book version of my magazine. And for the rest of that school year, which I did quite well in, also completing my first full quarter that Spring since I had first arrived at Andrews back in the Fall of 1997, I worked on this book.

            However for the summer, I agreed to do Literature Evangelism in a program in Toronto, Canada[cf. D243], however I brought along several books from the library to be able to keep on working on my book. And so spent most of my free-time during the two months of LE program reading, studying for, and writing out, my book.[37] (I eventually had to pay a substantial overdue fee later that Summer (ca. $330) for the days when I no longer could renew them by phone.)

Round 2's Bell Ringing

            By the end of the summer, on August 26, 1998 while staying at my sister’s house near Huntsville Alabama so that I can have ready access to the Oakwood College Library, I decided to undertake a more indepth, proving, study for one of my book chapters, -the one on the 70 Weeks. Quite interestingly enough, I readily came across some interesting works on this subject such as Desmond Ford’s book, among other, which provided some of the documented, though in this case objectionary, probings that I was needing as a sort of deeper search entry. (Nothing like having opposition to your views to help establish it, if indeed true, on an even higher level.)

Ashamed of Their Own Gospel

            All the while that I was doing these researches and coming up with more of such useful and intriguing “probing entry” information, I could not help but feel impressed that this was actually the “final straw”. Up to then I could not believe why various people and ministries in the Church with whom I had tried to get my pre-Net ‘98 ministry going did not step up to do so. The planned ministry, advertising most prominently the upcoming Net ‘98 series would be significantly preparing this ground with literally the best that SDAs had to offer in terms of our message books and ministries all packaged in an attractive, Christ-centered magazine. The whole things was just as odd and suspect to me as a car dealer vehemently refusing, though financially capable, to buy any of the new, high end cars that he is selling to others, also despite a company discount. Above all things, “there was a cause” (1 Sam 17:28-30 NKJV) with the potential, targeted audience and the Gen Xers meetings coming up in Net ‘98. All this senseless, ultimate indifference and opposition was clearly fueled also by a ‘Joseph’s jealous brothers’ attitude (Gen 37). I mean ‘why should the prophetic SOP statement in EV 35 and 36 be fulfilled by me in this ministry,’ they manifestly, innermostly felt.

My Cursing of this Fig Tree (6T 370.3)

            And so quite drastically, and with cause, and paramountly in faith that God would never honor such a base attitude, punctuatedly (i.e., after now over a year of fruitless anticipated fig fruit seeking), deliberately began my “Cursing of the Fig Tree” episode for me vs. the SDA Church (DA 580-588). No longer would I from then on be so sacrificing myself and fighting to help bring people to the SDA Church, but, at the very “least,” would now instead just present Biblical Truth without any encouragement to join the SDA Church. I had made this vow in the righteous and self-evident light that surely there was something much better than this whole, quite widespread, and sanctioned, base, “Who is the Greatest”, sectarian demeanor, and thus effectively, substantive ‘House-of-Card’ masquerading as God’s ideal in reaching the world. It did not take long for me to get the first of many, many Signs of God’s providential approvals in this judicial choice.

Concrete Shift of Paradigm (Mar 11:12-14)

            The week of my change of attitude vs. the Church was Sept 1-9, 1998. It was a stance that, even to my blindsidedness, quite painfully, concretely, though partially, honestly manifested itself in my visit with friends, former co-workers & classmates and acquaintances during my brief, end of summer stay in Miami, Florida from the Sep. 10-26 that month.[38] By Sunday night on the 27^th I was back at Andrews University for the start of what felt like, and has since Biblically proven to have been (i.e., Dan 11:5ff), a momentous Spiritual Civil War, even spilling over beyond the walls of “Jerusalem” and borders of “Judah” and then “Israel”. 

MI-7 (Rev 1:20)

            Now, whereas, up to then, I had been attending SDA worship services for Inspirational reasons, as faith in something/someone normatively results in, from the time that I returned to Andrews in the Fall of 1998, having literally lost my faith that a Church in this observed state of, fundamentally, base dysfunctionality, was ever going be blessed as they could, I then began to attend church services merely for informational purposes. In fact, I also only read through the words of sung hymns instead of singing along, as I just could not joyfully and worshipfully sing along in these services (cf. Amos 5:21-23). To this effect, not wanting my customary full-time church attendance to only be truncated to the worship hour, given that there were many different church services around the Andrews campus and in the community, I attended PMC’s first service at 8:00 A.M., (especially as it was lest “festive” than the youthful 11:00 service), then the more technical Seminary sabbath school, then the 11:00 worship service in another church nearby, usually the Village Church, and then, as the Seminary Church usually ended around 1:30-2:00 PM, I attended that service lastly. My purpose in all of this was to glean as much information from these leading services, all to use in my overall, no-reason-to-be-ashamed, quasi-militant Campaign against this, now observedly, already, off-the-Narrow-Road, Church.

            Retrospectively speaking, here, in this was the inception of what has turned out to be my Jacob vs. Esau struggle for God’s Israel Blessing and, despite my justified animosity vs. the Church, I inherently still knew, felt and understood that God, as already manifested in the past,  was only going to accept that this open battle was won without any baseness and trickery, but solely in “right doing.”

Where’s the Proof??! (1 Sam 17...)

            As I decidedly engaged, at the Andrews University Seminary Library, in studying out in more detail what I had begun to discover on the 70 Weeks while at the Oakwood College Library a month earlier, given the more resources this Seminary Library had, I became increasingly fascinated by the new and/or more conclusive information that I was indeed finding out. Yet after 10 days of intense research, I still could not get past the first major obstacle in proving that the prophecy had begun in the Fall (i.e, Sept/Oct) of 457 B.C. (I.e., a transparent proof that did not, as SDAs were doing, ignoring several valid objections to their, at best biasedly subjective “proof”). So then, swallowing up any pride and really wanting to ‘hold the deserving feet to the fire’ (i.e., place the blame where the blame evidently should be), on Thursday Oct. 8 I went to see some of my professors (K.M., W.W. & L.C.) to ask them this question, and also show them some of my other, related findings. However they could not give me any reply, nor comment to anything, and oddly enough, at all, either way. Finally I was told to go see the professors at the Seminary. So that afternoon I did, meeting with OT Professor Richard Davidson, and sharing the same information with him. After some, more quasi-vexatious than in/con-structive, (from his side), bantering questioning and discussion, he opened his Hebrew Bible and started to read out loud in Hebrew (evidently Dan 9:25) emphasizing the Hebrew word “schwub”, [=“to restore” - Strong’s #7725] in Hebrew. I non-facetiously acknowledged that ‘that indeed was a Hebrew word, but... “what did it mean??”’ Admittedly I did not know much about Hebrew then, not having yet, (nor ever since) taken a formal class in it (I have however since read and studied many quality textbooks, on top of doing further research), but that really shouldn’t have meant to him to  just spout out an answer in Hebrew that didn’t really prove anything in the context of this inquisitive discussion. I mean the fact that he spoke Hebrew, which I already knew, still did not answer the question at hand. Finally, and why he didn’t do this earlier, I do not know, [he may have known that my posed ‘precise/exact-start-of-70-Weeks’ question was (indeed) not specifically answered, (nor even pointedly discussed), in the book], when he finally realized that continuing to simply, emphatically, repeat that Hebrew word would not, -give me the gift of tongues, he reached back into the library behind him and pulled out the ATS-published dissertation of Brempong Owusu-Antwi, (advertised in this blog post), flipped to a page and began emphatically looking over the text, insinuatively indicating that this is where he had gotten his “certitude” for that word. Not having seen this orange book in my many hours of search in the library, despite thoroughly having gone through the section with books on Daniel, I, benefit-of-a-doubtly asked him ‘where was it in the library,’ (as if this was to remain some sort of “class-ified” Denominational secret). To which he recognized that it actually was not in the library. He then offered to sell me a copy ($19.95) and since I did not have the money then, I came back Monday to buy the book. Just flipping through it I could readily see that this was the kind documented  study that I was [generally] looking for. Then reading through the book over the next few days, I saw that it provided many documented and more conclusive answers to some key issues that I had. However, quite disappointedly, it still did not satisfactorily resolve most my questions, including, most paramountly then, the one on the Fall Start. Nonetheless, with now this study as, deductively, a research template and pertinent reference vault on this topic, I continued my studies on my previous findings.[39]

Wishful Thinking (Ezek 9:8)

            By Wednesday Oct. 28 I had begun to come close to provide a much more transparent and objective explanation/theory for at least an end of July/August start (Ezra 7:8), something which up to then I had not seen in the Church. However, with the manifestation of an external produced special sign from God during the Net ‘98 presentation (#16) that night (related below in Sign 1), which was on the historical change of the Sabbath to Sunday, and then subsequently seeing how Samuele Bacchiocchi’s doctoral dissertation was used as a guide by Dwight Nelson for this presentation, I (1) as it will be shown later, of myself, assumed that there may be some spiritual hope with this Church, and thus (2) saw that if I could complete my findings before the Net ‘98 meeting on the 70 Weeks scheduled for Nov. 4 (Night #22), perhaps Dwight Nelson, who I had become familiar with since my arrival at AU, especially during my efforts to do my magazine distribution ministry, could insert such proven findings as a key proof point in his presentation. So over the next week I worked virtually unceasingly to clinch this most possible explanation. Unfortunately by the time the meeting came up the next week, I still had not found the clinching documentarily objective and precise detail that I was convinced was ascertainable. In faith, I had been sure that God would not let this great prophecy, effectively fail, with this major, chronology anchoring, obstacle.[40] So that night, I dejectedly sat through that meeting which, as I fully expected, gave no conclusive proof for this point.

“From the mosa’” (Matt 21:42)

            At around 5:00 P.M. the next night, I wearily, suffering from a sudden withdrawal of the recent week long adrenaline rush, moped back to the library to resume my, oh-so-close research. I walked to the reference section and resumed my work looking through some books. Suddenly and unmistakably, especially by now, that Voice, like a silent “sonic boom” (indeed here faster than the speed of (the congealing completion) of even my (responding) thoughts (cf. Psa 139:4)), forcefully said to me “From the mowtsa...” indeed tailing off a the end of “mowtsa” as if the rest of that phrase was not as crucial. I immediately knew what was being referred to here by God, namely the start of Dan 9:25a; but my actual immediate reaction and question was: ‘Why Now!??’ ‘Why not yesterday when it would have timely counted???’ I.e., ‘Why the evidently guiding “special communication” now, ca. 24 hours too late??’ I was so upset, I wanted to, actually ignoramusly, dismissively blow this off as my own reasonings and continue what I was looking into then, but I just could not. After all, as I fully knew, God, unmistakably, had clearly spoken! So, knowing exactly where I could find more information on the key term in this phrase, I went over to a section of the reference books and then to the regular stacks, chainly going, and flipping, through various books. To make a detailed searching session short, one reference led to another and after a relatively short period of time, I had relatedly discovered what would, after much more indepth and painstaking full exegetical research, provedly come to be the cornerstone of my work on the 70 Weeks (cf. full results here). Hence the singular, commemorative, epigram-type, mention of this phrase on one of the opening book-matter pages in my book.[41]

Blessing Divinely Withheld (Jer 18:9-23)

            It then therefore became readily clear to me that God, with this self-manifest, deliberate withholding of this unlocking interpretation, was indicating that He Himself did not want to help, thus not bless, these dysfunctional and indolent Church Leaders. Indeed when properly appreciated, it arguably can be seen that this single prophecy, when rightly interpreted, like the slaying of Goliath, has the power in itself to completely route most of the objections and opposition to many fundamental Biblical Truths, and thus by linked implication, most, if not, the entire system of Truth of that the SDA Church upholds. Clearly Esau had much more preferred to satisfy their flesh with a serving of porridge than to value and strive for God’s “birthright” Blessing.

            This was all a convincingly perceived Divine Stance and Decision that I actually found so hard to believe that I had to confirmedly verify it for myself.  But first, about that special Sign, and more...

Sign 1 - God’s Setup (Jer 29:11)

            First of all, to also continue “sketching” the pertinent background context, by this time, (skipping all the defining details here for ongoing (though, in part, currently, financially miscarried and to be resumed), legal/judicial reasons), since my return to AU, I had noticed that something, seemingly borne in the adversarial spiritual realm, either directly, or indirectly by achievable influence on various actionable degrees of “accessible/receptive”, utilizable “impish” pawns. (= Dan 11:7, 8a). Also during this time, I was going through a pretty trying, desired-personal-relationship episode[@ cf. e.g., D188]. So finally, almost in a defiant way towards God for having allowed these straining obstacles all the while burdening me with this research work on the 70 Weeks, let alone my school work burden, I effectively gave God a sort of “make it clear” ultimatum, because something had to give here. So I sincerely, but boldly, “quasi-ordered” Him, or so I thought then, because it turned out that He had been pulling the “strings” “turning the clamp screw” all along, so that I would be “pressured” into blurting out this request on that very day.[42] So I (blackmailedly, but sincerely) said, at ca. 11:00 A.M., while on my way to the cafetaria for lunch: “If you want me to pursue this relationship, then you have to, through these occurring “adversarial spiritual” manifestations, give me an unmistakable sign in regards to this person. I.e., one that I could immediately identify/associate with her... and it has to be TONIGHT, during the Net ‘98 meeting!!!” I even added that I would not remind him of it for the rest of the day.

            I thought I had painted God in a corner where He would then have to, at the very least, begin to do, from then on, something with these disturbing adversarial spiritual occurrences which I could (ala Job) only believe that He was allowing, if he did not answer my prayer. And so I indeed went on my day, actually forgetting about my request, until I was about to walk into the PMC Church for that night’s meeting when, oddly enough to me, I, in retrospect was suddenly impressed to ‘go ahead and ask it again’(!?); i.e., what I had suddenly just remembered(?) for the first time since 11:00. Seeing here that God had, for some reason, some sort of sense of humor with what had been a, (ala Jonah (cf. 4:1ff)), sincere but somewhat upset “quasi-ordering” request by me, I more calmly restated the request, adding “...thy will be done.” So I sat upstairs, in the balcony, perturbedly slumping on the pew, awaiting for the main presentation to begin so that I can see if this sign would occur.

            At ca. 7:38 P.M., (some eight minutes later), as I later ascertained by watching the video, after the hosts had given their welcome and other details, Dwight Nelson came on and briefly discussed a few more preliminary things. Then he started to introduce the Seminary Choir that was on stage and said:

“... Tonight! Whoooaaaaa [i.e., “Wow” and not(??!): ‘Stop’] Tonight! I am so delighted in having on our Next Millennium platform the Andrews University Theological Seminary Chorus. I am so proud of this chorus,...etc ... Tonight... (applause) .... They are going to sing this song “Cyahamba” (in Sulu), “Marching in the Light of God.” Listen as they sing!

            I had had to get these verbatim words of introduction from watching the tape again because when they were originally being said I was actually engrossed in thinking on something else, (probably my various burdens then), and completely missed them. But I then nearly fell out of my seat when they actually began to sing their song, for it unmistakably was that requested ‘unmistakable sign’!!! During the summer, when I had worked with this girl in the earlier mentioned LE program in Canada, she had taught this “new” song to a group of her friends and they then often sang it! I was absolutely speechless!!! My previous consternation immediately turn into hard to constrain, profusing joy. I did not even bother looking for another sign for the rest of the night, because that was unequivocally it. Also with it being effectuated by the Seminary Choir, I here, as it occurred before, also of myself, presumed that God, as manifested, could still work with this institution. (However as related before, that also turned out, to be an incorrect surface and wishful assumption of mine, which had actually been clearly resolved by God’s ‘thundering’ voice.

Sign 2 - God’s Instant Messaging (Psa 139:4) 

            The mention of that Sign above and the conclusion that I drew from it, would seem to most as not truly conclusive, and because of the various “despairing” consternation and doubts that crept back into my life about a month later, I allowed myself to doubt it. So I decided to, by faith, ask God for another sign that would ‘once again clearly help me realize what His answer was in this matter.’ The night I prayed that second request prayer was Friday November 27, around 8:00 P.M., and I asked God to ‘give me this Sign sometime tomorrow.’ I once again told God that I wouldn’t think about it, and little did I know that I really wouldn’t. (My belief was that God was capable of giving another such clear sign that it would catch my attention whether I was looking out for it or not.)  So I did go through most of the Sabbath day not thinking about it, but by the nearing evening, as I was preparing to go to the prison ministry and the sought for sign had not yet occurred, I began to get a little anxious. However I was immediately reassured by the fact that I was about to encounter a group of people who, as I spiritually understood it, by faithfully going to prison ministry, were “surely” in harmony with God’s Will, and thus His Spirit, and so God could surely work through them to produce the ‘singing sign’. And so, as we gathered and mingled in the Church’s foyer before leaving, I hawkishly looked out for anyone of them to suddenly produce that sign... but nothing occurred. Then, while driving with my habitual car pool group, I continued to eagerly look for any one of them to produce the sign... and yet still nothing occurred then. I more than less continued to look out for this sign during the rest of the ministry period, even wishfully thinking that it may come from an inmates I would meet, but to no avail. And then came the time came for us to drive back home, after a last post ministering gathering outside of the jail, which to my ever disappointment also did not produce the sign. And so it manifestly was my ensuing incapability to veil my quasi-angered disappointment (i.e., anger that manifestly God could not find anyone during that entire Sabbath day, and to my surprise, also from amongst these faithfully ministering “saints”, that led a 35+ year old friend of mine, who headed another car pool, which usually only had another 35+ year old guy with him, to offer me, oddly enough as if knowingly providing a solution to my manifested dilemma, as if he could, yet merely surfacely, read and understand my issue here, to ride back with them ‘instead’. I was about to, out of sheer frustration, readily accept this offer, but then hesitated a little as I calculated that ‘the other car pool, which had 5 other people, thus mathematically had more chances for a fulfillment than a two-person car pool’, but immediately, indicatively thought that ‘nothing had actually occurred with the other 5 people in that car pool, so why not take my chances with this, albeit, two-person car pool instead’. ‘However’, I continued to reason, ‘since nothing had occurred with anyone of them during the ample collective “opportunities” during the entire evening’, I actually, summarily, dismissed in my hopes any chance from then on of the sign occurring with any of them. And so, really more out of a upset wish to not want to, as normative, chat or interact with anyone on the drive back, and feeling that these two friends would better understand my preference here to be ‘left alone’, I accepted his offer to ride back with them.
            A few minutes into the drive back, in, to my surprise, prevalent silence, as these two guys were also mostly silent, with only an occasional brief comment exchange then and there, (as I had not driven back with them before, I did not know if this was customary for them or not), a most harrowing thought crossed my mind as I realized that I was heading back to the Andrews campus where I was, as lately habitual, going to expend what was wakingly left for me of that Saturday evening (it was about 8:40 P.M.) deliberately cloistered in my (single-occupancy) dorm room, working on my book manuscript. I then became internally, alarmedly upset at God at this bleak prospect of ‘not encountering anyone else for the rest of that evening’, as this strikingly reminded me of the precision in my request to have that sign fulfilled within this day, which I had thought would be within the Sabbath day’s hours. And I now really could not contain my added frustration here, and in the deafly silent car, it seemed that my ‘clanking inner thought’ were out loudly sounding, to the point where the driver, the guy who had invited me to ride back with them, inquiringly look at me in the rear view mirror (I was seated being the front passenger’s seat). But I could not even begin to explain my quite manifest frustration to him, and so, with literally no where/no one else to turn to, I began to silently but quite frantically pray to God saying: “Oh no God! The ‘day’ [now appealing instead to a “worldy” midnight-to-midnight reckoning] is almost over and you have not given me a sign OH GOD.....” Lo and Behold... I did not even finish my prayer when one of my friends, the one who was sitting in the passenger seat suddenly began to sing out loud: “And Can It Be!” The amazing thing about this song is that it was a song that this girl had sang as a special song for one Friday vespers program, and as I was driving with her to the Church, she had been practicing it. Now what is even more amazing and indeed instantly “got me”, was that as she was then practicing it, she sang it in an air/melody in which I had never heard it sung before. I had been only accustomed from the common version of it as, e.g. rendered by Steve Green in his Hymns album. In fact I even played it for her from the CD in my collection, however she then preferedly insisted to sing it as she had known it. Well... the man in the car that November 28 night was singing it in the tune that she knew, and had sung it. This also then was only the second time that I had heard ever it being sung in that way.

            Unlike with the first sign, where, as I later theologically fully understood, God had variously constrained me into making this specific request on that very day when Net ‘98 had already scheduled for the Seminary Choir to sing, and they no doubt had chosen to sing that song a while before, here, clearly, the Holy Spirit injunctively acted upon this man to cause him at the very instance that I was praying, to, out loud, sing that very song, and in that specific way.[43] This unbelievable, Holy Spirit-led response, just completely took my breath away. Needless to say that after that, I was convinced. What I really couldn’t understand then was why persistently after that, this girl had not positively responded to my interest. The only answer that I could find then was the Biblical answer that if there is one thing that God greatly preferred not to do was to overrule any human’s will (i.e., make someone saying no say yes) and also that no matter what God decides, it will only be done if those through whom He wants it done, allow Him to do it.

Settled in 3 - God’s Overmastering Sovereignty (Num 23:16|24:13)

            The first two signs, in combination had indeed convinced me, either way, however, as I was walking back from the cafeteria to my dorm room I began to speak to God in my heart that: “I needed a third sign.” What was mostly upsetting me is that, if God had, according to my prior theological understanding of God and the future, “foreseen” that I would marry this girl and had worked out these two signs, then why hadn’t things worked out by then (i.e., the week of Dec 6-12, 1998). So I then proceeded to ask God for a third sign, and that, one which would be of the same “unmistakable” and “musical” nature as the other two, and also “before the end of this day,” eventhough it was relatively late then, being around 4:45 P.M. I reasoned that if He had answered my prayer in a matter of split seconds for the second sign, then surely he could do in these remaining 7+ hours, if not also immediately. But then I understandably thought that He would probably need a spirit-led/available person through whom to accomplish this request, and I felt that my chances of encountering such person amongst the students in the dorm where I was heading for probably the rest of the day, and that by the end of this day, was observedly, quite small. So I just dropped my head, yet still in trusting disappointment, and kept on walking. Just then I saw someone come out of the dorm and was walking towards me. I had never seen this guy before and hopefully thought, per chance, that he may be a spiritual person that God can use. So I quickly sent up a prayer to God telling Him to ‘use this person to answer my request’, as I now knew He could. So I dropped my head again and continued walking towards him and looking out of the corner of my eye to see when he would be getting closer (or close enough so I can hear him). When he got close enough, I suddenly, in the most “concealed” way I could, without revealing any of my anticipations, looked up and actually ended up staring at him as he was coming even closer. I really expected him at any moment now to start singing or humming an “unmistakable song.” (I hadn’t specify which song it was, trusting that God would choose another “available” one). As we crossed each other, he still hadn’t said/sang anything, and I just turned and almost angrily, glared at him. He looked at me like, “What??? What have I done?”, disclaimedly acting as if he thought I was seriously mistaking him for someone else. By now I was reservedly fuming, because deep down inside I concluded that he clearly was also as unspiritual as the many others, and that is why God hadn’t been able to use him at this very instant to answer my request. So I dropped my head again, and more rapidly, and still fuming, and in a resulting unthinking absentmindedness, kept on walking towards the dorm door, all the while peevedly thinking: “Boy this school is full of unconverted pagans.” Then about 15 steps later as I was now in the walkway that led to the side entrance of the dorm hall. I, out of the clear blue, and still in fuming absentmindedness, started solemnly, audibly humming out a prayerful tune to God. I did not finish the first line when I then almost crumbled down to the ground in stunned disbelief. I was humming the part Psa 42:1 song: “As a deer panteth for the waters,” and it then suddenly hit me that, that was ‘one of that girl’s most favorite songs,’ as, if I can remember correctly, she had either said to me, or mentioned to someone else, while I was also present, during the LE program that summer. I couldn’t believe it again, that God had , actually, gone out of His way to again quickly and clearly answer my request again, for he literally had forcefully and without my “knowledge” inspiredly/mentally constrained me to hum out this song.

            As I then felt the trying situation that I had put God in with this third request, yet He still “powerfully” had answered me, I personally vowed that I would not ask Him for another sign again, lest I then be actually “tempting/testing Him.” (Matt 4:7~Duet 6:16). For me then, when God has said something clearly three times, it was because He really meant to do it.

            To put it shortly, although things did not work out in this situation, for various reasons and probably, mainly due to, (1) the opted for, persisted hesitancy of this girl to accept these signs when I twice shared them with her, and then later (2) deemed spiritually and emotionally more important decisions on my side, (having by then become sketchily cognizant of what would concretely be variously involved in the ministry work and accompanying“battling” before me, -and not then being sure at all where all of this could/would end up in); this entire episode, as well as the two, though lesser, others, like, respectively with Ezekiel (24:15-27), Jeremiah (Ch. 16), and Hosea (Ch. 1), (no characteristic similarities, per se, intended) served as a most theologically and prophetically insightful and guiding object lesson in regards to God’s dealing with His Israel. (=Jer 18:1-12). God works in mysterious ways! (Rom 8:28ff).

Pearls to Hogs (Matt 7:6)

            Now going back to the weeks after it was clearly demonstrated, through His delayment, that God had chosen not to “give” (cf. Rev 11:3a) to this present, Esau-like, basely indifferent and wasteful SDA generation (Ezek 15). At that time, though I knew I should believe this, I just couldn’t. In fact I mockingly/amusedly wanted to verify/confirm this observation for myself, and so I endeavored to do so. By Monday, Nov. 9, 1998, I had drafted a 7-page thesis-like paper on my specific finding for a concrete and objective proof of the Fall Start.[D48-D55] I proceeded to present it to my professors in the undergraduate department. I let them hold it so that they could review it, hoping that they would, at the very least, provide some pertinent and constructive criticism. The next day, one of my professors (W.W.) returned the paper to me without any type of writing or comment on it, either way, neither, again oddly enough, did he have anything at all to say about it, almost as if he was upset at something. (Perhaps such (extra) Biblical Research work did not fall within his/their salaried duties!) Being semi-mythed, because that is what I suspected could/would happen given God’s already manifested decision, I then wanted to further test this oblivious indifference out. So the next day Nov. 10, I returned to the seminary and met with Richard Davidson again. He immediately looked over the paper and then said that he was going to fax it to William Shea at the General Conference’s BRI. And so he did. Then 2 days later, Davidson called me to notify and inform me of Shea’s just faxed reply,[D56] I went by the Seminary to pick it up and in reading through it back in my dorm room, judging by his quite tangentially, non-pertinent, answers, I saw that he neither had taken the time to, probably, even read it. He indeed had begun his faxed answer by saying that: ‘He “didn’t have time to enter into an extended discussion, but...” (then citing 2 tangentially irrelevant notes).’ Well that was now the clear ‘first cannon blast’ for me, indeed confirming what God had clear indicated before. This was indeed a cause for war! The Church was manifestly too ingrained in its revered sectarian and dysfunctional approach to conducting God’s work, and I was now intending to give them a taste of their, effectively, “hogging” medicine. If they did not want this “birthright” then why, or even how can I, an undergraduate with, then, only one full Andrews quarter to his credit, force them to. The only drawback, as I had already perceived, was the extraordinary work load that this would bring upon me, however, as I thought, who was I to refuse begin to tread in this newly blazed, though much narrower path of God!?!

            So from then on I worked on my research alone, while still going to school full time, yet with all that I was finding and variously also learning, indeed much more than what I was being taught in my undergraduate classes, having to deeply delve in scholarly studies with occasional trips to the nearby library at Notre Dame University when the AU library did not have a resource, I certainly did not regret this decision at all. Indeed it has thus far easily been the most fulfilling time of my life, though while simultaneously also being, at that time, the most mentally straining and emotionally draining.

Deserted Efforts (Isa 59:16)

            So for the next 8 months (Nov-Jun), I worked unceasingly on my book, only taking any time off during the Sabbath hours, and resuming immediately after sunset Saturday. Now seeing that I potentially would have a great sharing resource for my planned Christian Music Festival ministry, incidently entitled Thy Word Is Truth, based on John 17:17, I endeavored to try to complete the book in time for the start of the festival season in the Spring of 1999. However seeing that I would not be able to do this, without probably flunking or doing poorly in all of my classes, I decided to lessen my course load to a single class for the Spring quarter. I also had to forego continuing with my pastoral practicum preaching (at the Burlington and Coldwater SDA Churches in Michigan[cf. D295]) because preparing a sermon with the depth and fullness that I personally preferred was just way too time consuming, taking me a full week for preparation.[44] 
            On March 23, 1999, to take a much needed break from the pressures, disappointments and roller coaster emotions being experienced at Andrews, and in order to mentally/spiritually get ready and refocus myself for the planned summer ministry, I attended the Dove Awards ceremony held at the Nashville Arena[D57] in Tennessee. Later, not being fully ready yet, I had to cross of some of the early spring Music Festivals off of my planned itinerary starting with the 1999 Ichthus Festival[D58] in Wilmore, KY.
            However, by June 1999, I had managed to set organize the initial part of my ministry, having reserved vending booths at 3 festivals (costing a total of ca. $1270). Seeing that my book would not be finished by then, I then opted to sell some of the LE Magabooks[D59-D60] (= SOP and other books published in book magazine format) along with Biblical Perspective books from Samuele Bacchiocchi. That all was not my envisioned ideal in terms of books for sharing in this ministry as I would have much preferred my ‘70 Weeks Prophecy’ book, and it did not take long for me to see, in the very first festival (the Crossover CMF[D61] in Lake of the Ozarks, MO), that this also would not work, even for me. That was readily observable when most of the few people who visited my booth on that Thursday night only checked out the Kids Cookbook. I then decided, before the end of the night, for another reason which I deemed proper, and also not wanting to be selling only kids cookbooks during the Sabbath hours, to “pack it in,” actually the whole ministry attempt, for now, and focus on first completing my “ideal” book. And so this is what I did. The festival organizer was kind enough to return my booth rental fee ($250) in full. And by Friday afternoon, the next day, I was back on the Andrews Campus. I also proceeded to cancel my other two successfully reserved vending booth at, namely Alive ‘99[D62]and Creation ‘99[D63][45], and despite the penalty for a late, or any cancellation, being the total loss of the rental fee, one of the Festivals actually returned half of their $475 rental fee.

            And so, following a move to the Burman Hall for my planned summer long stay at the Andrews campus in order to have access to the Seminary Library, not wanting to be limited again like the summer before and also incurring over due book fees, I resumed my book research and writing.

7-1-1 (Psa 50:15ff|94:1ff)

Really, for the first time since I had started my book work, and with these recent ministry

disappointment, combined with the resentful fact that, my research and unfolding findings were however in turn necessitating even more in depth, and many times original, studies to concretely confirm and/or correct them, those who should be doing this work, and that easily could, given their “advanced education”, were more than likely, mindlessly relaxing, traveling about and otherwise enjoying their summer vacation. These, along with many other taxing issues, -for one’s life does go on even when working for God, practically completely crushed my psyche and spirit then. Looking through a prayer journal that I kept during that time, all of these emotions returned with such understood, overwhelming emotion, that I ask even from today’s perspective, how in the world did I make it through then. It must have been the ‘joyful promise’ that this book work reminded me every day, with each newly completed page. (cf. Heb 12:2)

My First Vision (1 Kgs 12:24 [~Isa 6:1-13])

            And so, it is in the midst of this maelstrom of angst, emotions, fears and pressures that I received what was self-evidently/explanatorily a vision from God.

            I mentally fully awoke one morning in June, on some day between the 9th and the 22nd, immediately thinking that I must go and watch a program on the Christian TV station, the (Sumrall’s) LeSea Broadcasting Network, that I was, by then customarily watching more than 3ABN, particularly in the first half of the day, mainly to see and understand what Christians “out there,” the targeted audience for my book, were believing, preaching, and teaching. So fearing that I had not awoken in time that day, judging by, in the split second that my eyes had actually opened, the sunlight glare from behind the blinds, (the sun having risen then a few minutes after 6:00 A.M.[D138-D139] while my intended, usual first program, Life In The Word (now called Enjoying Everyday Life) with Joyce Meyer, was scheduled at 5:30 A.M., I began to make a hurried, though I fully knew, futile pouncing move, all the while upset with myself for having overslept (as I, since doing this “other channel watching,” quite uncannily, had been consistently waking up, variously, (just) in time for this program), to get up out of bed, and still straightly go turn on the TV; as I was also planning to get up, and get to work then anyway. [(See another documented, similar accompanying spiritual experience in this post (Note #5)]. So I clearly felt my brain give my body this “get up and go” signal, and the fact that I did feel this normatively subconscious brain instruction (like running into a brick wall) was that, not only my body didn’t respond at all, as I then was also quite consciously resending that same signal wondering ‘what in the world was going on,’ I was also perceptively, helplessly falling back into a sleeping state. I just could not stop this “reversal” despite the fact that I actually, quite consciously wanted to. (All this probably happen in a couple of seconds, but, like the few seconds during an accident, it uncannily seemed to pass by slowly.) Suddenly I found myself in the midst of a dream. I found myself trying to explain to my sister, as I had been variously doing in real life phone conversations what was happening to me, in what I had increasingly been understanding to be the beginning of the Ezekiel Shaking Time [Ezek 8(+9)]. As I was arguing with her in the dream, not being able to get her to also understand this, becoming upset, that conversation began to wane, and I suddenly saw that my room was pitch dark. Then, surprisingly, I suddenly noticed that my dorm room door, which was to the side of my bed, on the parallely opposing wall, and at the height of my bed head, had been partly opened (ca. one-quarter opened). I remember, feeling actually fully conscious, and in fact futilely still trying to get up from bed, but here actually feeling relieved that this was actually a dream because I could not get up to go close the door. (I.e., Since I obviously could no longer physically move, as noticed just before falling into this dream state, I thought that it was a “good thing” that this open door was only in the dream.) It then struck me that the door was opened outwards, as my door actually opened inwards. Just then I glanced down, in my dream, as I still could not get myself to get out of bed, and saw that smoke, like that in from a fog machine, was blowing outwards, seeming to all be blowing from underneath my bed, and going out through the opened door. However before blowing out, probably because of the partial opening, it collected in what seemed like a dense cloud at the foot of the door. Suddenly I got, or was made to get, the imagery here, this clearly was like ‘a door in the cloud,’ and I immediately thought of the imagery in Rev 4:1. (The way in which this smoke was actually in motion, along with its direction outwards, and another pertinent circumstance, also made me think of it as some sort of incense.) Now I also immediately noticed that someone was hiding around the corner of the door, pressed up against the wall so as to remain out of sight, and as I clearly perceived it, face towards the wall. I then instantly had the impressive, and almost suggested, feeling that this was a “Mighty Angel” i.e., not a regular angel. (To me it could only be the angel Gabriel.) This angel then proceeded to, semi-strictly tell me: ‘“Do not tell and/or try to explain to anyone what was happening to me.”’ As I had been trying to lean over in the dream to concretely verify this felt presence and see who it was, trying to look up towards their face, but noticing that I couldn’t fully extend to do so, it is then that, having now fully realized and being self-assured that this was a heaven-sent vision, I physically felt myself stopping to try to “break,” what had seemed up to then to be a spell, and thus I finally stop trying to get myself to get up and physically, i.e., in reality, relax.

            However, now understanding that this was an instructive dream from God, I began to in candid frustration, questioningly wonder in the dream “Why this “revelation”?” “Why all this “effort/trouble” to so, show me this and not, e.g., something related to the immediate issues and problems that I was dealing with. I was disappointedly upset at what I saw to be a “wasted opportunity” and ‘waste of a vision’ by God, and did pointedly inform Him of this. And as I was doing so, the Mighty Angel then solemnly said, or communicated from God, I was not able to ascertain exactly: “This thing is from me.” I immediately recognized that phrase, and realized here that God was after all pointedly addressing and answering something that I had seriously been considering in real life. Indeed like Rehoboam vs. the newly apostasied/separated 10 tribes in 1 Kgs 12:24, by then I was considering ending my now 8 months of deliberate “separation” and was going to “forcefully” attempt to make these people I was working in deliberate separation from, clearly, in a spiritual Ezek 9:4 “forehead marking” way, see their faults, so this could, yet still “justly”, be all ended. But clearly here, again, God was pointedly against this, actually quite sincere “desire” of mine, and again went out of His way to markedly make this tangibly known and understood. (cf. Ezek 11:13-25)

            However, seeing now that God actually wanted to communicate something tangible/applicational in this vision/dream, I then thought again that perhaps if I could lean over and look around this partly opened door, I could get more “available” information and/or see another answer to other such things that I was pointedly looking for. Yet with the initial restricting instruction and the known circumstance of the quoted verse, I also knew that I would not be able to use this to say that “I had seen a (mighty) angel...” or even, for that matter, say that ‘I had had this vision/dream...’ in an attempt to prove that I was and had been right and validate my commonly disdained work and ministry efforts. Still I again, and again in reality, tried to peer around the corner, but still couldn’t physically move, but in the vision/dream I could lean over, although, I still could not get out of the bed. So as I acceptedly only leaned over in the dream, as much as I could, slightly more than before, I felt that this angel was correspondingly pressing himself against the wall to remain out of sight. Seeing the whole oddity of this, wondering ‘why he was still refusing show his face since this was clearly now a vision from God and I clearly could feel that he was still right there, I began to doubt if this was an evil angel pretending to be good, but trusting in the fact that this had been a Biblical dream I banished the thought.

            Then the dream began to fadedly end, and as I consciously noticed this progressive ending, still somewhat bothered by this persisted hiding at the end, I made one more physical move to get up, and surprisingly felt I could, and indeed inceptively began to. I also immediately, and still in what probably was a split second, then thought that if I got to the opened door I could, as I still was in the dream-like state, see exactly who was hiding themself behind the door. And so I physically continued this move to get out of bed, sitting up, but also then, now with my eyes wide open, suddenly feeling like I was gasping for a breath of air, (to some degree of someone sitting up from having lied down under water in a bathtub for a little time), and slightly pausing to verify that I was indeed breathing normally, and dismissing that feeling by the fact that I had been lying on my back, (mainly so that I would stop thinking into this worrying sensation and go ahead and rush to the door, however when I flipped the covers off and turned to pounce towards the door, I halted myself, noticing that it was completely closed. Although I felt like going over to open it to look around its corner (which I actually deliberately did later in the day when I went out for something else, -perhaps that Angel was still there?!), I knew that that was probably futile. However, I then also quickly glanced at the floor thinking that there should (scientifically, logically) at least be a lingering residue of that smoke, for smoke does not disappear that fast, but I saw nothing, I then was going to check underneath my bed where the smoke had been blowing from, thinking that maybe I would see some sort of fog machine, but then I realized the comical futility of these verification efforts and chose not to do so.

            However, I now felt upset that, not only I was not allowed to see any “concrete” trace proof of the vision/dream I just had, but I was also semi-strictly prohibited to do what I had previously been pondering to do. So, feeling both played and betrayed (cf. Jer 20:7-9ff), I angrily got out of my bed and walked over to turn on the TV to the LeSea broadcast all the while thinking, “Fine God. I’ll just take this dream as a “personal” reassuring and approving sign to “Carry on”, i.e., just as I had been doing prior to my mused “forehead sealing” plans.’ (And it was actually because of that upset, semi-dismissing, reaction that I did not make, even a mental note, of the date, and also specific time, when I had received that vision.)

            The reason why I had immediately remembered the quoted text in the dream, was that just a few days before, I had decided to not only limit my Bible study to my book work and research although it did involve much, even contextual, reading and study of the Biblical text itself. So I then decided to start doing a, note-taking, systematic Bible reading plan, but to avoid the “monotony” in generally ‘knowing what will come next’, I decided that instead of starting with the book of Genesis and onwards in canonical order, I would instead mix the book order, and decided to start with the book of 1 Kings. So by the time I had this vision/dream I had already read/studied through the episode in 1 Kings 12. Since I already knew, even in the dream what was haltingly meant by that quoted statement of 1 Kgs 12:24, although I proceeded to verify this verse in my Bible upon getting up, I did not bother to read the entire context again (i.e, Ch. 12). In fact I have only done so recently, 11 years later, in the writing out of this post and the transpired, full contextual meaning of what clearly had been “loaded statement” by God, has now fully been seen by me.

            Nonetheless, although I had not received all of the tangible answers that I would have liked, this vision/dream greatly anchored me in my efforts and work.

            A more indepth “unpacking “ of this vision/dream will indeed be made later as it indeed turned out, over time, to contain much more insight and light than what I initially first, readily, narrowly grasped from it. However first some more pertinent history for more context.

Renewed and Facilitated Continuance (Ezek 9:2b)

            An immediately derived effect of the first vision/dream, indeed concretely confirmed to me that I had been, and was, on the right track during this whole “struggle/battle” vs. various factions of the Church, since my arrival at Andrews, was that it gave me new energy in regards to my book work. As a result, whereas before I would in some sections just rely upon, and quote, or refer to the conclusion of secondary (=scholarly works) or even tertiary (mainstream books), defaultly trusting them despite the fact that I actually had not been fully satisfied with what was being concluded and/or claimed, I then, indeed with this assurance that said to me to: ‘maintain the present course, everything will be alright’, felt less pressure to hurry and finish, and instead focus more on providing more concrete and transparently conclusive  proofs for my book. I then went back on all of these permitted inconclusive inclusions and undertook original studies of them. I am still, forever grateful that I was strengthened enough to do this, because in most cases, what I had taken for granted was indeed not always, either the concrete fact of the matter, or the best proof possible. So I did this “deeper digging” work to arrive at the rock solid evidence. (Luke 6:46-49) This renewed and original effort also virtually opened up a new dimension in Biblical studies. In many ways, it felt like digging into a sand dune, as the more I dug the more there seem to be to dig out.

            Around the end of July, I came across a good deal on a used laptop on campus (an upgraded (4-year old) Windows 95, Toshiba Satellite Pro[D133] -[still works, (though its OS needs to be reinstalled), but since, 3X superceded (-every 3 years - genuinely have needed, and even concurrently, the greater processing, memory, recording and storage, among others, capabilities to, prominently and relatedly, further my four ministry projects work)[e.g., D218 (2008) - I have literally been “nailed” to this workstation [or variations/relocations thereof] 16/7, for now over 11 years, endeavoring to implement these projects. (= e.g., Ezek 3:24-27). Still according to God’s great timing, this technology today allows for such a ‘writing kit’ to be just as effective and efficient, planning wise, as tangible/concrete realities.]]). Whereas I had been unimpressed to purchase a previous, lesser laptop[D65] that had been on sale by this same student vendor, (which was later purchased by a classmate of mine (S.L.)), there now was no felt hesitancy for this one, and so I purchased it. That acquisition exponentially added to my productive ability, [cf. this thematically parallel AFCOE Presentation] as, up to that time, I had been using an electronic (laptop look-a-like Brother) word processor which was functionally limited, especially for such documented, scholarly work. However from then on, with this laptop, it became so much easier to do many different things in relation to this book work, including adding and updating endnotes and footnotes, that it was, quite importantly, much less of a psychological burden and detriment to seek to also do the work to even obtain, and then pointedly include them, thus allowing me to make my book as transparent as I always wanted/preferred to, so that the reader who wanted to verify the evidence for statements and claims, could do so. As one of my professors, Samuele Bacchiocchi used to say, ‘you do not want to shoot a dead horse twice.’ So this was a major step for me being able to do so. This would also open the way for my next work “envisionment.”

WBSC (Zech 4:10 [cf. Zech 4:2; Rev 1:20b; 4:5 & 5:6])

            By early September, I had learned so much on my own from working on the book, that I felt that returning to my classes would not only be futile, but actually a waste of money. I, (1) figured that I could easily set up and run an independent ministry, relying more on transparent proofing than merely on ‘letter-abbreviations at the end of my name.’ As the goal of a university education is to know the subject matter, well during these studies I certainly had achieved this objective, and much more. In fact, I began to see in many areas that many things that could be done were not being done. Clearly also, the reason for this non-feasance was because of the amount of money that it would take to accomplish this. So I decided to also work on patching up this major faultline in the field of Biblical research, because no matter how beautiful and well built a high rise building is, if the foundation has cracks, or was improperly laid, the whole building, is doomed to inevitable come crashing down someday or remain inoccupable/inhabitable is standing (e.g., Tower of Pisa), especially when faced with an opposing force.

            So following a move from the summer dorm to an apartment on campus, I continued to engage in full time work on my book and also laying the plans, and lining up the projects, as I perceived and saw various Biblical research works that needed to be done, (including towards completing my book), in the institute that has now been planned for this -the World Biblical Society of Christ.

À Dieu (Matt 23:1-35)

            On November 11, 1999, my professors, having seen me around campus, and of course seeing that I was not attending classes, had the then student Andrews Ministerial Student Association Leader, and former classmate, Chris Holland call me to schedule a meeting with them during one of their staff meetings. The funny things is that when we did later meet, they never actually expressed why they had wanted to meet with me!?? In fact none of the 6 present said a single word. They probably noticed and straightly understood my seething rancor against them, mixed with a deliberate, contemptible mocking of them, even refusing to drink the glass of juice that one of them (L.C.) had poured out for me (probably in an attempt to help “extinguish” this noticeable, torching fire in me), for by now I knew that whatever “help” they could offer, it would be: too little, too late, and worthlessly, just “more baggage”. I was more upset that they, in their self-confident “blindness,” were, in these favored positions, literally “cumbering up” so much space in God’s work and not producing anything of value,[46] probably conditioned to think that by contributing to the building upon such shoddy foundations, they were doing the popularly righted/politically acceptable thing. So after ca. 5 minutes of this transpired stale- checkmate, I effectively, though mutely, ‘thanked them for nothing,’ (cf. Judg 5:23|2T 247.1), inclusively for also the ‘microscopic-very-little-from-what-they-had,-at,-moreover,-my-great-disbursement,-taught-me-that-I-did-not,-and-at-my-added-various resources-expense/cost-have-to,-and-still-am-having-to,-originally-ascertain-and-substantively-correct-and/or-improve-upon’, and self-ended this meeting, going about my way. One Way or the (already planned) other, I knew they had it coming for all of this.

            However now seeing that they, in their oblivious “sincerity”, wanted to “help” in some way, I gave one of them (M.R. -who actually had not been present at that meeting, working on his dissertation, (Samuele Bacchiocchi was also absent, as normative, due to his demanding Biblical Perspective work)), an opportunity to do so, in regards to the selecting of a Greek NT variant based upon two possible morphological alternative writings, all in regards to, ...wait for it..., the accurate translation of an aorist; however knowing in the back of my mind that it probably was also going to be useless. As expected, it was, because all that was done, as usual was the patent repetition of the same type of mindless “surface rationales/conclusion” they had been taught ages ago, which, I already had uncovered its shortcoming and knew needed more precise and improving research to proof. So I likewise, mutely ‘thanked him for nothing,’ however, a little less sincerely, due to his ongoing work efforts, although I knew, being aware of the potential in its subject-matter, that it was, and would probably remain in its final form just more of such dysfunctionally spurious upbuilding “contributions.”[cf. D90(b)][47]

           

Acquiescing the Little Scroll (Rev 5:7)

Starting back in ca. May 1999, while working on my book, on the section of the

Destruction of Jerusalem, I recalled that a portion of Dan 11 (vs. 15) spoke of ‘the laying of siege works against a city.’ I then presumed that this may prophetically be in relation to the 70 A.D. and the work of Titus against Jerusalem, but, basely, because both the extra exegetical work that would be needed to first exegetically study the entire prophecy of Dan 11 to ascertain this potential new light, and also the wish to reserve it for a distinct book, thus, I self-rationalized, if didn’t find out exactly what it was saying, I wouldn’t feel responsible to treat it then and include it. So I put it off. Later however, by September 1999, when I had some more time and less work load pressure, and resolutely opting to faithfully adhere to my approach of studying out everything thing that I found applicable to my book, I decided to also include it. Indeed choosing here to do the right thing rather than basely opting to mirror the common example that I had been seeing in the Church ‘of not doing anything but the readily observable necessary’. I had decided to spiritually-speaking, crucify these fleshly attitudes and base justification rooted actually/honestly in selfishness and greed, and set out to do this exegetical work, which I then new would be quite in depth, as I preferred, and neededly, was now customarily doing.

            Well it did not take long after beginning to read/study the prophecy for me to readily, and clearly, see that many of the prophetical elements stated, after the definite historical intro, before the somewhat disjunctive segue into now symbolic characters (i.e., the King of the North and South), that, particularly Dan 11:5-9, was pertinently allusive to the various experiences and especially the resulting, God-led and approved developments that I had been going through in recent times with regards to the SDA Church, ever since arriving at Andrews. Seeing these clear parallels, I plausibly understood that this prophecy too, like other prophecies that I had seen, could also have an eschatological fulfilment. So although, with reason, I did not understand every element in the prophecy, I, by faith, chose to accept that it very well may be here beginning to have an eschatological fulfillement. I then saw that a study in the historical interpretation would indeed be quite involved, especially to do it properly, and so, now with justified caused, put off the further study of it in this view.

            None the less, the perceived eschatological was most enlightening and sustaining for me and in my subsequent decisions, it was a major guiding and confirmatory light, because, gradually, events prophesied in it continued to applicably be fulfilled, as I and my Ministry/Projects vs. the SDA Church and its works, continue to follow our parallel, but increasingly diverging paths. As it will be seen later, this discovery was even deeper than what I had, even up to the beginning of writing this post, realized.

The Start of: 'Cave of Adullam'[48] Days (Rev 2:8-11)

            A little after that, on December 4, 1999 as certain circumstances, along with my increasing repulsion by the state of the Church, made it annoyingly unbearable to even attend the sermons at Churches, so from that day on I began, for these reasons, worshiping at home. I greatly missed hearing my 3-4 sermons per Sabbath, but this abstainment was all for my best, in many ways, skipping the specific details here...

            Being at Andrews when I first started this period, it was not hard to obtain the weekly (PMC) sermon, as it was broadcasted live on Saturday morning over the radio. However having left the Andrews Campus for my hometown of Montreal on February 17, 2000, as related next, and with me not being able to get web streaming from my laptop until July 2001, and also with not many SDA Churches not offering a web stream at that time, I instead got my “sermonic fix” then from my locally accessible Christian radio station, WCHP 760 AM.

            From July 2001 and forward, my technological ability, as well as web content in regards to SDA sermon, had steadily increased, so I was, since then able to fully resume my above mentioned preferred and critical MI-7 functions and operation.

Religio-Temporal Plannings (Matt 24:14)

            Noticing that money was, (or actually: ‘was being allowed to be’) a major obstacle to the advancement of the work of the Church, starting around January 2000, I began to brainstorm plans in order to be able to decidedly, and sustainedly, surmount this obstacle. This was the foundation of what later was fully developed into the present NJK Project and it quite early on came to also be a way to do much more than my initially, solely planned Biblical Research Work, and when I arrived in Montreal, I also began to concretely develop these socio-economic plans which facilitated the expected, full Gospel Work for God’s Church.

Moving “North” (Dan 11:9b ff)

            On Sabbath, January 8, 2000, after studying Ezek 8, I was suddenly, “unmistakably”/recognizably, strongly impressed to leave the Andrews Campus and return to live in my hometown of Montreal. Later the sermon I listened to of Dwight Nelson on the Latter Rain in which he also dwelt with the “Investedly Authoritative” Angel of Rev 18:1 [(audio) see at 05:04-06:03ff]. With this understanding being in line with ‘the Mighty Angel relating and/or speaking of himself the words of God’ in my vision/dream, which substantively reinforced my decision, I took this as a confirmation do indeed do this move. Living on campus was relatively costly, mainly in the monthly rental payment of $345, however ready access to, mainly the Seminary Library, made it (economically) worthwhile. However now I had reached a virtual impass with the certain major research tasks needed to first be done so that I can complete my book, so as I definitely realized, remaining on campus really would not help much in this area. I figured that I could set up the needed Research Institute to accomplish these major tasks, namely WBSC, in the Montreal area, and since I would be returning to one of my family’s mortgage-free homes, then partially in rental, I could use the money saved from rent to acquire any resources I would need.[49]

            And so I decided on that day to make this move, convincingly spurred on by what I saw and understood as fulfilling the prophecy in Dan 11:9b. And so this is what I did, taking, due to a car repair necessity,[50] a little over the required one month apartment leaving notice time to finalize my studies and work, and also collecting copies of parts of various key resources. Finally late on February 17, I left the Andrews Campus...never needing to return!!

Jerusalem D.C. (Rom 8:28)

            Quite literally, and divine-confirmed as being purposely beneficial, my initial attempt to move back to Canada was blocked and delayed at the Detroit-Windsor border, because I was supposed to first declare my American-bought car (the minivan) in advance, oddly enough to the U.S. Customs, so that it can be “cleared for export’, a process that would take 4 calender days to complete. So needing to kill 4 business days on the road, I preferably drove 520 miles from that U.S.-Canada Border, southeast to the Washington D.C. area to wait out this paperwork processing and from Fri., Feb 18 to Thur. Feb 24 was able to visit the U.S. capital city, including, daily, the Holocaust Museum (as it actually took 4 half days to properly see|read|watch everything), as well as Jerusalem D.C., i.e., the SDA General Conference and Review and Herald Buildings located nearby, all the while staying in a guest room at the Columbia Union Colombia - CUC (now Washington Adventist University - WAU), in Takoma Park, MD.
          This unexpected, but, ministry-wise, most beneficial excursion to, indeed, Jerusalem D.C., was immediately shown to be fully within the expressed will of God as, when I called my mother the next day to tell her where I was (i.e., had ended up) she related to me her dream during the past night in which this sudden, long and extended detour of mine was clearly depicted. Tangibly knowing, from past experiences, how God did indeed give such alerting/“foreplanning” (as later understood) communications to my mother (cf. below in Note #52),[51] I readily saw the acting hand of God in this, suppose-to-be, momentary frustration.

           

Walking Through the Opened Door (Rev 3:7-13)

            To state things succinctly here, in the first 4 months of my return to Montreal starting on Feb. 25, 2000, I immediately started laying the work for my various related plans, namely WBSC and the NJK Project. I then began to see that, barring Church member participation, which I did not expect, such project would take major independent funding to be established solely/mainly by, effectively, one person. And so I decided to pursue a technological idea that I had in the area of Electrical Engineering. God indeed greatly and powerfully, distinctively led, just as before, in these feasibility research for this concept and its intricate and complex implications, by now patented [CIPO #2,696,825][D68], is on the verge of being concretely implemented. [One of “four” major ongoing Projects that, when implemented, will, each on their own, fully fund the NJK Project.] (Only spurious capitalistic dogmatic parameters, as also ascribed to and revered by SDA (Physics|Engineering|Technology) University Departments, have delayed this thus far (Ezek 8:16), and that, for now over 10 years.)

            All of these heavenly gifts (Rev 11:3) and plannings concretized my understanding of what I had perceived that God had been doing in relation to the Church. All this was reflected in my first publicly released message entitled Testimony to the Church, on June 21ff, 2000, just before the start of the GC session that year in Toronto, Canada, (which I later partially attended from July 6-8).

Days of New Dimensions (Amos 3:6-8 = Isa 54:1-5ff)

            These “days/years” since my departure from Andrews have indeed been the dawning of new dimensions in the fulfilling of God’s expected and intended exhaustively comprehensive Gospel Commission. I have deliberately named this post, “My First Vision” because it was indeed the first of now 136 such “revelations”, with, initially, the vast majority, (now 43+ to be precise), accompanied by the same physical “manifestations” (except, since the first, the felt need to gasp for air once they were finished). I have privately documented the content of each of these visions and in due time, whenever that fully becomes, may also publicly release them. They personally continue to astonish me with the beautiful, intricate symbolic complexity contained in them. In the meantime, all have to ‘play their fulfilling parts.’

            Some may knee-jerkedly, dismissively balk that God would “publicly” give such revelations/message for the entire Church, however, there is currently enough Biblical and SOP light to not need any of these messages, so they are indeed currently solely personally/privately beneficial for confirmatory and guiding reasons, especially due to persisting, base opposition. Also as seen with the prophecies of Ezekiel, although God may promise, and that through concrete planning revelations, a glorious, temporally triumphant future for His people, if their heart is not right, nor in harmony with Biblical truths, principles and light, even if these revelations are publicly revealed, they will still not be able to produce what God has intended; with God’s Israel, typologically enough, ‘opting for a temple devised and built by the providence of the quasi-religious state (the Herodian Temple) and his various alterations and additions, rather than fully according to God’s plans, all in due spiritual preparation for an antitypical Advent of Christ. Even the Solomon Temple, (which God apparently did not even want to (yet) have built then (2 Sam 6:4-7ff), and the selection of Solomon (vss. 12, 13), as with the establishing of a Monarchy, may not have been, time & circumstances-wise, ideal, as the people were not Spiritually ready for this “Triumphant” development, not having yet even “mastered” the “opened” lesson of the (inner) Sanctuary and would likely only make an idol of this grandiose Temple), unlike with Ezekiel’s one, was not done according to express specifications and plans of God.

            Added to the visions/dreams during these times, there have also been well over 300 Signs, in various degrees, similar to the God-led, constrained and actualized impressions as the 3 related above in this post. Most of them also have been textually documented. And just to compliment this undeniable divine leading, my mother, who since I can recall, has many times had dreams, mainly in regards to warnings and the direction that should be taken in family affairs,[52] has had a handful of most significant dreams in regards to the various works that I was engaged in. A couple of other key dreams and signs were also had by my father, including a most interesting tie in to my experience, from the dream he had, partially related at the start of this post, before I was born. All this to personally affirm that I have seen God’s encouraging hand in all of these major new, yet simply mission-advancing, developments.

            I personally do not make the content of my dreams the determiner of truth and course to follow. Most of these visions/dreams have initially solely served to give confirmation, though early on, for independently biblical decision that was made, however certain revelations have contained symbolic elements which have only been understood once a future, intermediary Biblical path had also, independently been followed. With the pattern of then two fulfilled symbolic aspects, the third and final understanding of these and other symbols can then more readily be understood and followed. However, in all of this the Bible, especially through more in depth research and exegetical studies has always been the initial indicator of the expected paths to engage upon.

            All of this has shown me that ‘where God guides, He abundantly, comprehensively provides for’ (i.e., Biblically, Spiritually and Temporally) (i.e., Biblically (i.e., e.g., Matt 11:7-11), Spiritually (i.e., e.g., Gen 28:10-22; 32:24-32; 46:2-4; Acts 18:9, 10), and Temporally (i.e., e.g., 1Kgs 17:2-6|7-9ff~Rev 12:13-16)), and how much more when He quite manifestly had fully expected such a “Shaking” development to occur in the Church and had amply “prepared and planned” for it.[53]

            Now with all of this pertinent contextual information said, the content and circumstance of my first vision can be unfolded, and, hopefully, Biblically understood.

My First Vision Commentary - Revealed Yet Signified (Num 12:6-8|Rev 1:1; CC 188.1-8)     

            Ever since I received that first vision/dream, further developments on its subject-matter as well as more in depth Bible studies on various other related topics, have come to help me further understand all that was being packed in this revelation, and there is probably still more to come.

The following is a bullet point-styled listing of these various pointers and details gathered over these now 11+ years.

Biblical Precedence/Parallels

- As I mentioned before, I say that this was my first vision, because there have, up to now, 135 others (thus: “and counting”), initially, the vast majority (now 43+, and counting) involving the same experience of: suddenly falling back into a dreamlike state when I was actually starting to make conscious move to, not even merely awake, but physically get up out of bed, having already, just awoken. I then suddenly have found myself unable to actually, physically move, as signaled from my brain. Clearly my muscles were made to no longer respond, thus resulting in me actually having no physical strength at all in me. (As also stated, above, the gasp for air following the vision, occurred/or was felt, only after the first one.). A now normative amount of them  have started first simply dreams, however just when they are about to end, they suddenly change to the visions-types, and which are always timed to coincide with substantive thematic change in the revelation that is now dealing with not yet occurred/future events and planned developments. (Which are summarily reflected in the "+" appended at the end of the “visions” counts above).

            The prophet Daniel, as well as EGW related having had such a ‘no more strength’ as (well as no breath) experiences, also suddenly falling into a “deep sleep) and, interestingly enough, in Daniel’s case (Dan 10:8-9, 16-17) this occurred solely in the third of his three prophecies of Dan 10-12.

Specific Types of Revelation

-Succinctly said here, (i.e., instead of relating all of the background exegetical details), I have also referred to these occurrences as visions/dreams as, since, initially, the vast majority occurred while I had just regain full consciousness from sleep, indeed just about to get up from bed, they qualify as “visions” (Heb. Hazon Strong’s #2377 - a fully awake revelation), however as I was made to return to the sleep and/or a (different), more conscious dreaming state, than what I had just awaken from, this sudden return to a dream state in both physicalness and mentality, indeed qualify it as a “dream” (Heb. Halom/Halam #2472/#2492b). In studying Joel 2:28 more closely, I have since come to understand that this (here forced) type of revelation is more in line with what is called a “vision of the night” (Heb. Hizayon #2384 (cf. close relation, yet distinction between the two in 3SM 427.4; Bible: #2472 & #2377 in Isa 29:7b) = “young men’s” type of revelation [for future/advancing (eschatological) plans] vs. “old men’s” [for current testing for historical (i.e., EGW) plan] - cf. e.g., 2 Sam 7:17; cf. Job 4:13; 33:15). As stated some of these revelations, with the same striking and recognizable symbolic matter were experienced merely as dreams. However, I will henceforth refer to both types as vision(s). (Cf. Daniel’s ‘vision (=“hazon”) of the night’ in Dan 7:1, 2a, 7, 13)).

The Semi-Strict Command Validated

-As stated, the instruction in the vision: “not to [then] try to make others understand what was happening to me” all in the context of my observed understanding that elements in the lead up to the Shaking Vision in Ezek 8 (& 9) were being fulfilled, was made in a semi-strictly way. This understanding was grasped from the fact that when it was being said in the vision: “Do not tell and/or try to explain to anyone...” I immediately, and rather quite vehemently, reacted to what I clearly saw was going to be fully said here, and that command actually suddenly trailed off to an almost unspoken word for the rest of that statement, yet I could still fully understand what was being said. So I then deduced that this was not such a strict command after all as I had quite literally “attenuated” it with my objecting/opposed reaction. And this all clearly indicated to me that I had the discretion to do so if I wanted to, but, preferably, later. When I awoke from that vision, I then assumed that this was a limitation only on those in “the opposition”. I then thought that it was not meant for my immediate family members, despite the fact that the vision had started with me trying to explain the start of these experienced Ezek 8 developments to my sister. So just later that day, when my sister actually called me, I “took the opportunity” to try to explain these Ezek 8 developments to her, yet not mentioning the vision. However as she was just not seeing things this way, this only resulted in a more-heat-than-light discussion. And I then just gave up, still not having shared the vision.[54] Starting then, and much more over time I have seen the wisdom in this caution, as the elements in this Shaking prophecy had to first fully ripen before they could objectively be understood, and that without even the mention of this vision. As for me, that confirmation of my deeply perceived Ezek 8 understanding had settled the course for my ongoing independence actions and efforts.

            And then, in regards to this semi-strict command, in spiritual retrospect, it manifestly also was a form of God’s principle revealed in Exod 32:10, in such instances of looming, deserved utter judgement, of veiledly-granted opportunity for obtainable mercy (Exod 32:33). (See a discussion on this Theological theme, including SOP comments on it, starting here).

-In studying the nature of the content of prophecies in the Bible and SOP, it becomes clear that the quicker God wants something to be understood and realized, both mentally and tangibly, the more straightforward it is expressed. Plain impressions given to various people to immediately set out to do something are an example of this, (E.g., Danny Shelton’s 3ABN Dream when he was seriously pondering why SDA’s are not also so prominently on TV.), particularly when that thing is relatively revolutionary, rather than readily obtainable from already understood Scriptures. However the more in the future and remote something is to be understood and done, the more concealed is its “revelation.” (See e.g., Dan 8:26). This prophetic feature also can occur conjunctively and or conflatedly in a single vision where the immediate (i.e., “here and now” and more literal) parts are more plainly stated or explained right in the prophecy, while future references are more concealed, ending with the most complex ones of all being the “eschatological elements”, i.e., elements referring to “last things.” In the “conflated” manner, a symbol may be readily understood as something for an immediate “here and now” application, while it then can also symbolically be relating to future/remote things that will be understood then after certain elucidating events have transpired and/or Biblical study/knowledge is deepened. The demonstration of this is clear the prophecies of e.g., Daniel, Ezekiel, Zechariah, and Revelation, as well as the SOP. (Dan 12:4 indicates that this would be done experientially, with/when some would be ‘seeking to advance’, which verifiably is, historically, always the case.)

            This was fully the case in this vision. The things that God wanted me to understand for immediate implication were either plainly stated and/or, when symbolic, also had a “face value” understanding that dealt with the ‘here and now’. However, they simultaneous had further levels of  understandings that were only discovered with further advancing experiences and Bible Study. The following explanations of various elements, also delineating when I came to grasp their fuller significance and also what I understood of them at the time, indeed involved these Biblical prophetic principle for understandings. An explanation of the elements in the prophecy is also made.

‘Here and Now’ Applications (June 1999)

-Fog like smoke on ground caused to look like a cloud = door was located in the heavens (Rev 4:1)

-The opened door = Rev 4:1 = ‘God was going to show me a different view of what is to take place in the future.’

-This partly (1/4) opened door = only a partial revelation at that time. I.e., not all details were

being given.

-Incense like smoke = prayers of saint(s) (cf. Rev 5:8; 8:3, 4)

-“Mighty Angel” = I understood to only possibly being the Angel Gabriel...

-Angel’s careful face hiding = not significant to ascertain identity, though I already had a pretty good idea that it was Gabriel.

-Non-distinctness nor definiteness in origination of voice = deliberate ambiguousness (later understood to be possible with the angel because of God’s “invested authority” = Rev 18:1ff.

-“This thing is from me” = Similar instruction as to Rehoboam not to go, and affront rebelling brothers/countrymen, as I was, along the same lines, planning.

-“Do not tell/try to explain what is happening to me” - As the “what” that was being referred to here was in relation to my understanding of the sins leading up to God’s sealing prophecied in Ezek. 8, it is significant to note that the message here implicitly upheld this perceived experience as such. Indeed that is why the vision first started with that odd, seemingly non-sequitur Ezek, 8 episode. This was indeed a then transpiring understanding that I confirmedly understood later, as things continued to unravel. (See this blog post on Ezek. 8).

-(Another ‘here and now’ understanding was then immediately understood, however it is not specifically mentioned here).

Near-Future (= “Historical Development”) Applications (1999-2010)

“This thing is from me” statement (1 Kgs 12:24) = Reading and studying the greater episode context of this statement (1Kgs 11:34-12:33), which, when it was said, was through quoting the NKJV, (which had then been my devotional reading Bible version vs. the NASB for study and research),[55] particularly as I was about to prepare my Dan 11 study for posting on this blog in November of 2009, revealed the much deeper implication as seen here:

-The NASB has more rightly translated this statement, however it is also even more accurately rendered as:

“This judicial|legal|authoritative matter (Heb. dabar) has, of Me, been allowed to be done.”

            In that Bible episode, God had injunctively, justly vowed to punish the waywardness of Solomon who had let his wisdom and riches corrupt his ways, forsaking his humble reliance upon God, however God chose to maintain a house and kingdom for the sake of faithful king David. So when Rehoboam refused to make the required ‘service and “leadership” yoke’ lighter as desired and requested by the elder leaders, they turned to Jeroboam who promised to grant their wish, drawing 11 tribes with him. (Rehoboam’s cause would have been wholly justified had Solomon not indeed exceeded/abused his monarchial authority which needed reforms (see PK 88-91)). So it is in this way that this “official/judicial matter” causing this splitting up, and for that specific, base reason, was indeed “from God”. It both accomplished His necessity to punish unfaithful Israel who had chosen to follow in the false ways of King Solomon, all the while preserving a Davidic Remnant. Here began the Northern and Southern Kingdom split, and in here I have come to understand was a God-known, injunctive, Biblical basis for the ‘Israel Civil War North vs. South’ view on the Dan 11 prophecy, and that for an eschatological context.[56] As discussed in the blog post on this prophecy, God’s ultimate aim is to fully restore the 11 lost tribes of Israel, however he works from a, even sole-person, remnant originating from the previously faithful Southern kingdom to do so in the North.

Partly opened door in Heaven (Rev 4:1a) = The beginning of the unfolding of the eschatological interpretation of the prophecies in Revelation, as well as other Bible Prophecies, mainly in the postponed/not-yet-fulfilled prophecies concerning OT Israel. This, in a Historical sequence, was to occur after/beyond the Laodicean Church Age ((Rev 3:22ff); = ca. 1851-1999+) cf. Letter #2, 1851 where the Laodicean state is first realized and denounced.

Involved “voice like of a trumpet” (Rev 4:1b) - Throughout the Bible, the sound of a trumpet is associated with either judgement and/or military advance/conquest. As these aspects will be present when Christ returns to ‘execute judgement’ and ‘bring the decisive blow to the Great Controversy War’ it is indeed closely associated with the Second Coming (Matt 24:31; 1 Thess 4:16; 1 Cor 15:52). So in this allusion to Rev 4:1 in this dream, these concepts of judgement, military advance and also typological aspects of the Second Coming are both executed and to be revealed (i.e., “Come up... I will show you..”).

“Opened door” Theme = Church of Philadelphia (“love of the brethren”), the “Faithful Church” (Rev 3:7-13 = Isa 22:22). It is all based on the OT “Valley of the Vision of the Night” -Strongs’#02384 (Isa 22:1, 5, 14(NIV); cf. Num 14:28-33|15MR 292.2-4) episode [with such injunctive communications through visions being the last warning, (cf. Amos 8:11-12; Pro 29:18: Ezek 7:26; Lam 2:9; 2 Chr 20:20), and thus precursor, of the “Day of the Lord’s” “Valley of Decision” (Joel 3:12-17 = Rev 14:14-16 || 17-20)] of a thorough replacement of the ‘prior/old, self-seeking and incompetent leaders/(royal) guard’ in Jerusalem and Judah (Isa 22:15ff; 22-23). It thus spiritually, prophetically involves elements such as: the key of David, keeping of God’s word and name (character); fight against synagogue of Satan (Jews); kept word of perseverance; avoidance of coming global hour of testing; designated crown; becoming a temple pillar; promise of name (character) of God, Heavenly New Jerusalem (= Church Triumphant), and new personal name (= the following of a new/God-recognized character. - See a more detailed exposition of this Sixth Church Message in this post).

Final, More Remote Future (= “Eschatological Resolution”) (2010+)

-Smoke clinging to the ground (vs. normatively rising to ceiling) = only achievable with a fog machine when dry ice is placed in hot water producing a dense fog that clings to the floor.

            -Hot water = the antidote for/antithesis of, Laodicea (Rev 3:15, 19) = Zealously Faithful People of God.

            -Dry ice = [this details involved in this understanding are proprietary at the moment] but it alludes to a key component in the above mentioned, personally patented concept.

            Only the mixture of these two elements here would produce this type of smoke/incense/cloud result (i.e., [Result of a consuming/purifying] Fire/[Offering/Answering of] Prayer of Saints/[Effectuation of always promised] New Things).

-Not Revealed Face - With that vision having indeed been theologically and substantively similar to the ‘let them ruin themselves’ commission given to Isaiah in Isa 6 (cf. Matt 13:10-17; cf. Rev 22:11-12), it is knee-jerkedly easy to assume that the deliberate non-revealing of the Face of that present Individual, and thus the non-concrete disclosure of His Identity would have to be along the commonly understood lines of ‘not being able to see God and live’. However as I was made to unequivocally perceive and understand that this was in fact an Angel, and at that, a Good Angel, moreoverly, the Mighty Angel Gabriel Himself, the truth here was indeed as it was being clearly conveyed. So as this was not God Himself, as it was in Isaiah’s vision (Isa 6:5), but, manifestly, “at least”, (see Exod 33:20, 22-23; John 6:46), in ‘glorious representation’ (=here: “smoke” (Isa 6:4) as this indeed was an ‘intercessions-ceasing, destructive judgements manifestation of God’ =Rev 15:8), yet as humans can see an angel face-to-face and live, even the “Angel of the Lord” (= Michael|Jesus, -who also was, since being “Begotten” back in Heaven, and again now is, in this Mighty Angel form, and also again, the Archangel (the “Chief of the Angels”)), then it really is to be, as I have done, asked and pondered, what was the significance in this: ‘Mighty Angel Gabriel’ being most careful not to show His face??

            Succinctly said, as with the above-discussed, three fulfilment levels involved in that vision, there are also three corresponding, intertwined answers here, and they are all tied with the advanced symbolism of “the face” which is: ‘to fully recognize and perceive something’.

#1 - That first answer is the notion of Faith. I.e., what I was going to draw from that revelation would have to be purely according to my faith. And so just enough was here revealed/given, that I could, from the start, readily draw strength and encouragement from, in order to carry on, as related above. (Heb 11:1-2ff).

#2 - For the same reason why God does not reveal his face to anyone, (and when He did to some degree, it was through the veiled incarnated form of His Son), which is so that no one then would come to fully know the things of God then. For, as relatively seen in the History of Israel, any disobedience in the light of those then “recognized” more concrete understandings could only merit swift, and even utter, judgement.[57]

#3 - After having studied the Biblical material for this blog post, I have come to (actually, confirmingly) Biblically see and understand that the third intertwined, and “eschatologically” ultimate reason for this ‘deliberate face non-disclosure’ here was, summarily stated: because I would immediately recognize that face!! And since, as seen in many instances in the Bible and SOP, an angel’s face can be seen while it is communicating a heavenly vision/dream to a human, (and conversely, if this had been an evil angel, it would surely have sought to seal its deception here through an “angel of light” counterfeit, and thus “prove” that it was an angel from heaven, and, “logically”, certainly not leave such an opportunity to doubt the origin and reject this message), then this third reason evidently was indeed the overarching and main reason for this deliberate full/exact identity hiding here!! And ironically/Interestingly enough, knowingly myself, not having the supporting Bible and SOP corroboration that I currently have on this topic, that recognition then would have actually led me to entirely disbelieve and dismiss that vision!

Epilogue

            “Naturally” (=1 Cor 2:14-16), there has been a general, mindlessly indifferent, reaction in the Church to this above vision (=“Testimony of Jesus” Rev 19:10), which is unequivocally now revealing that, just as God was deliberately and justly working in the days of 1 Kgs 12 to split up Israel for their sins during Solomon’s reign, and with the righteous Remnant being only the tribe of Judah and part of Benjamin, thus at most only ca. 8.3-12.5% of Israel, He now has been acting, indeed since before this June 1999 explicit indication, to bring about the long warned of Sealing event, then Shaking separation in the SDA Church (EW 269-271).[58] Of course, the “natural”, shallow, rationale in the Church has been, indeed as with every rebellious generation in God’s Israel, that: ‘since they are now “so close” to the goal, to the point where they can, through claims of prophetic fulfillments, practically see the Promise Land’ (= Ancient Israel on the borders of Canaan), and indeed ‘are prophetically sure that the promised end is soon to take place’ (=First Century Jews and the 70 Weeks prophecy), then, indifferently enough, there is no way that God would now be acting to enter into judgement, and even reject, the vast majority of them, nor be delaying/postponing, and especially not halting, and that for any reason, the Second Coming. As repeatedly cited throughout this blog, such, (actually defiantly insolent), arguments are easily defeated by many statements and examples to the sort throughout Biblical and Church History, right through the era of the Early SDA Church, all showing that God is indeed Sovereign and All Mighty, and therefore will do whatever He sees/deems as being Right and Just given the actual, in-the-Church/Field, circumstances at hand then. 

            And added to this pervasive and prevalent unSpiritual rationalizing is the tacit claim that: ‘if/since God is still answering, even miraculously (i.e., through divine intervention), at least some of their prayed requests, then they must be on the right side, and still squarely within God’s will.’ However, as Jesus implied in the parable of ‘the woman and the judge’ in Luke 18:1-8, a Just God will always, somehow, answer the prayer of/from genuine faith. And the two key/operative words here are indeed “just” and “faith”. Since (genuine) faith is an expression of the actual/pure truth, God in His Justice will respond, in some favorable way to such a request, according to His greater will, which indeed may not at all be for the express purpose that the praying person limitedly had in mind. And as seen in the story of Jonah and the Ninevites, as well as many other examples in the Bible, such (genuine) faith is favorably, even overturningly, responded to when there comes to no longer be a state of sustained known sin in the requestor’s life (Jonah 3:5-10; 4:11); for ‘whatever is from (genuine) faith is not sin’ (Rom 14:23). Yet God also has the pointed intention, to be done in actually a/the most fair/opportune time, to reveal all unknown sins to each and everyone, both believer and unbeliever, and then, after such a clear confrontational revelation and warning, if these sins are still being sustained, then God, also Justly, will no longer answer that requestor’s, not ‘abominable prayers’. (Psa 28:9; 66:18; 109:7; Isa 1:15).

            So the key to surviving this already transpiring Shaking is not to, as commonly being done in the SDA Church, to merely chose to measure oneself, and the Church, by a past, thereto understood, standard, but according to God’s ever advancing standard of Righteousness and Justice. (2SAT 209.4; RH, June 20, 1882 par. 3-5; 8T 247.2). These traits benchmark are ‘the foundation of God’s Throne’ and are spearheaded through ‘Lovingkindness and Truth’ (Psa 89:14). And so, conversely speaking, if one’s “lovingkindness” and “truth” (two things which are zealously (but glibly) emphasized in the SDA Church) do not lead to this next, higher tangible Divine standard of ‘Right and Just actions’, then it is indeed Divinely deficient and thus entirely unacceptable, for one’s works then completely contradict such professions of faith. (=James 2:14-17; Matt 25:41-46; RH, September 6, 1881 par. 3-8ff).

            With all of this stated, one can better understand the view presented in the preluding blog post of this here post.

God Bless!

  

Notes

---

[1] Cases in point: (1) While attending Church School, in the First Grade[D168], classmates of mine, as kids typically do, started, and just couldn’t stop, at the gross sight of another classmate’s, who was not an SDA, spoiled lunch leftover in his locker which he apparently forgotten to take home over the weekend, and now had inadvertently squashed with his boots that morning. Well the word of that gross sight got around like a wild first and pretty soon these classmates were huddled around this locker, laughing uncontrollably and chanting “J.’s got the ge-erms!” My locker was right next to his and I felt sorry for him, although I did chuckle a bit, all the while thinking: ‘Come on, don’t laugh at this/him... What kind of witness will this be to him?’ Well he went off bawling to the principal. Soon the principal came to our classroom with the student and he started pointing out all who had been laughing. He actually left me out at first, probably having noticed that I had not wanted to laugh, and/or it may have been because I then had glared at him, “reminding” him that ‘I really had not laughed as the others’. However feeling guilty now for having so pressured him into leaving me out, and also feeling guilty that I had not done what I could to stop the situation, I looked at him again, indicating that ‘it was okay,’ and, he, though hesitantly, called me out, last. -He had to tell the “whole truth.” In all of this, as I was walking to the principal’s office with the others, I was really more disappointed with myself than feeling guilty of wrongdoing because I had really tried not to laugh at the situation, and honestly held myself back quite well. So as we lined up to receive our metal ruler, hand-spanking punishment, I was having the inner battle of whether I should allow myself to be punished since I had not really laughed at him, and tell this to this spanking teacher (“assigned” by the principal who was looking on). However when my turn came, having deliberately made myself last, so that I could explain/excuse myself when the others had left to return to class after being punished, I however opted to “suffer in silence”, since I actually had not done anything to defend him. I also thought that these people probably would not even believe me. However I was not completely at peace with that inculpation, for, when that ruler finally struck my hand, “finally” because, with the first two attempts, I had moved my hand away in silent protest, to the actual intrigue, rather than anger, of the teacher, (I mean who would be stupid enough to twice do that), he manifestly understood that something was not just/right here, but made it clear that he was resolutely spanking me for having moved my hands, and did so, perceptively even harder than the others. I immediately started to cry, -the only one of the punished boys who did, not because he had spanked me, or even harder, but as I blurted out, in my then inchoative English*, while angrily stomping away across the office back to class: “I (relatively speaking) - didn’t - even - do - any-thing!!”

* The fact that my teacher for my first and second grades[cf. in D168 & D73], kept on writing in the last 7 of my first 8 quarterly report cars that ‘I was too talkative” in class completely baffled me. I was still learning the language! And for a while, my sister, having a couple of years of English under her belt had been my interpreter and translator. In fact, my parents seeing my complete dumbfoundedness by these claims, (and seeing that my grades were not at all affected by this), actually just LOL laughed it off, and even teased me about it, every time it would again be stated in my report cards. At best I was just asking around to make sure I had properly understood the teacher, but I do not even remember doing that, let alone constantly talking, and that, inherently, while she was teaching!?? Furthermore, I do not even recall her asking me once to be quiet!!

            (2) At another time in that Grade 1 school year, earlier than the above episode, a thief had broken into the school and absolutely ransacked the office. As my sister and I then travelled to school with the principal who lived near to our house in the northern suburb city of Montreal, we got to school as early as she did and waited in the office lobby for others to arrive. When we arrived that morning we found a couple of other teachers who had arrived first, having already discovered the break in and vandalism. But I found it strange that they were just looking at the mess and not cleaning things up. When she, being the principal also engaged in this odd-to-me staring-at-the-mess stance, I, began to personally feel that ‘all that we were doing by just standing around and not cleaning things up was letting those, (probably) hoodlums, win.’ So when I spotted on the floor the principal “stamp-roller licker” (if that’s the actual name of it), I, recognizing it and where it had been, from the time the year before (being then 5 -while my older sister was being registered for her first grade by my mother) when I had overturned it, thinking it was upside down, and be on the flip side so that it could roll on its “wheel”, and spilled all of the water inside onto her desk, I frantically picked it up and place it where it had specifically been on the desk. Then resuming to continue to ‘lead by example’ as my English was not great then, I search for something else that I would recognized to also place it back in its prior place. Seeing and understanding what I was doing, trying to get them to ‘do something already,’ they quickly, and to my surprised frantically lunged at me to prevent me from continuing. I thought they were upset for having possibly, unwillingly, “showed them up”, I ultimately just wanted to lend a stupor-jolting, helping hand and ‘just set this mess aright already’! However, it turned out that it was because they were going to have Police come over to dust the place for fingerprints. When they told me this, I actually upsetly walked out, being more disappointed that the police was going to come and see our school in such a mess.

            (3) My regretted non-feasance in story (1) stayed with me for a long time, mainly for the bad witness we had made to that non-SDA classmate. So the next time such a similar situation came up, when I was in the 5th grade, I more immediately stepped in to quash it. Indeed when a SDA 4th grade (different homerooms) schoolmate began to laugh, and try to incite others around him do so at another, non-SDA, guy because he thought this guy had a big head, as I also already had noticed this since his arrival back in the 2nd grade, as many others had, with some in recent years, as childhood mentalities defaultly devolved if not checked or redressed (cf. Pro 22:6), making concealed snickering remarks here and there, which just increasingly irked me every time I came across them, when this guy now, for some reason, aimed to ‘get this (once and forever) out in the open’ and thus resolutely started his cheerleading to incite others to openly mock the guy, and that right in his presence, I stepped right up to his face, looked at his own head, and began to mention ‘that I personally thought that it was too big’ (which it relatively was, (got the (i.e., including 'his'), yet prior, Grades 1 & 3) class pictures to prove it[D73 & D211]), (still I could not manage to get the last specifying mocking words ‘...was too big’ out). This manifestly was why he was seeking to diversionarily dump on the other (subjectively supposedly) “worse off” guy.* Seeing that he may not have gotten the point from my audibly curtailed statement, as he was still snickering, I resumed giving him a taste of his own medicine by acting as if I was going to try to incite others to similarly laugh at him, however I actually couldn’t also get myself to even begin to do that, also knowing that it was wrong. So I then tried to, myself, laugh at him, but I also could not get around to doing that either. With these three attempts however, he finally got/or decided to get, the message and abruptly dropped the smirk on his face. Fearing that my lack of acted out derisiveness would cause this fear on him to soon wear off, causing him to try to do this again another time, I told him that I myself, would tell the other guy’s older brother, who was in Secondary School here. Well by the end of the day, as we were all heading home, both older brothers of these two guys, who had gotten word of this incident, assured me: (a) on the “victim’s” side that” ‘it was alright, they weren’t upset,’ and (b) on the “perpetrator’s” side that: ‘his little brother would be reprimanded for this and kept in check,’ even proceeding to begin to reprimand him in front of me, however stopping when he noticed me cringing at the sight. It can be said that my motives here, and in the other two stories, were “self-serving” as I was admittedly and calculatedly more concerned with the detrimental SDA witness that was being variously effectuated, which everyone involved also always understood, but I really understood and saw this as ‘killing two birds with one stone.’

*Sort of like when a visiting evangelist (D.B.) came to my home Church in the fall of 1997 to do an preparation meeting with mainly our Church officials/leaders, which I sat in on, and, obviously for jealousy-based reasons, expressed that a ministry-wise, fellow, a then, and still currently, though retired, most prominent SDA Evangelist and Televangelist “had a huge head”!?? I could not shake that disparaging thought when I personally first met with that evangelist while at the 1998 (PUC’s) Westpoint of Evangelism[D108], and tried to intimate to him what his fellow (ministerial) co-worker(s?) was saying about him.

            (4) Back in my 3^rd Grade year, we had a new French teacher who, most clearly, had an acute anger management problem. I did not know this scientific term for it then, nor that it was actually a official/clinical issue, but I was certain that this teacher was NUTS*. I had heard of him while he was teaching in the French SDA school, before he came to our school, from other Church members and students friend, however now I could see for myself that he was indeed (“goonishly”) ‘out of control.’ He would not only get violently upset for the littlest of things, but would then wildly “discipline” us by verbally abusing us, if solely by unnecessarily, angrily berating us for the littlest things, throwing chalkboard erasers at us, slapping us violently upside the head, etc. Corporal punishment was practised in this school by other teachers, but only in a normative/acceptable way. This guy instead was a physically assaulting quasi-criminal. So when he approached the smartest and quietest guy in the class (L.L.), at the very start of class for, (if I recall this quite insignificant thing correctly), as we were all still settling down, the boy clearly not having noticed that the teacher had entered the room, and so, surprising this exemplary boy acting as any normal kid, and proceeded to wind up and strike the glasses-wearing guy in the head with his the thin side of his metal-rimmed briefcase. The whole class just gasped in vexed astonishment. Moreover, he could have killed him. The next day, in our first class, we were further aghast when the guy came to school with a huge swollen bump-welt off the side of his forehead.

            A few classes later that morning, after recess, -I must have been “inspired,” because I do not know why I did what I did, nor how I imagined I could even pull it off and/or get away with it, or was it just that I knew it was the more right thing to do, but when the recess ending bell rang, I said out loud, actually only thinking out loud: “I am not going to that guy’s (the teacher’s) class. He nearly killed L..” Others around me heard me and quickly acknowledged this. Seeing the growing consensus, I hurriedly, now leading out that group of about 8-10, started to look around for a place to hide for that class, and saw the perfect place behind the curtains of gym’s stage. No one from our other elementary level school mates had seen us disappear afer recess. So there we quietly stayed, “striking” against that teacher. However, about 10 minutes later, all we could hear were virtually all of the school’s teachers frantically scurrying around looking for us, audibly discerning that they were not sure if they should be angry or worried. So we became scared when we overhead them worriedly say: “We have to call the police!” Now we didn’t know what to do. If we turned ourselves in, we would surely get in trouble; however, I personally thought, we surely could not let them get the police involved, if only for what they would think of us and the School for this “false alert”. So when they had cleared the gym area, I suggested that we sneak back to our class upstairs. As the School was only renting and occupying half of that school building, and the gym had a side door that led directly into that unoccupied part, so I suggested that we go up that way, then across the 2^nd floor to the other side, towards our class. So that is what we did, ducking under the door windows of the other in-progress classes, and indeed were able to sneak back into class. I was expecting that teacher to explode into a fit, but he didn’t say a thing. We just filed back into the class and sat down at our seats “unbothered”. However he did send another student to tell the principal that we had returned. When that was done, our home room teacher returned with that student and proceeded to call each one of us who had participated in this to follow her. We all went downstairs and crowded into the principal’s office. Thus far I was shocked that no one had reacted angrily at us. Even the principal just sat there, visibly, speechless, with an incredulous half-smile on her face. So (a) seeing that they evidently, guiltily knew something “right” was behind our “strike” action, and seeming to realize exactly what that was, (b) personally knowing that this had been my idea, (c) being somewhat familiar with this principal as she was the same one with whom my sister and I had travel to school every morning back in my first grade, (d) having seen her gentler/lighter side, despite her commonly presented, stern appearance, in her amusingly singing along to a “Shut-Up-in-Your-Face” chorus on the radio, seemingly almost every morning, when we were riding with her, all the while looking questionedly over to my sister, asking myself; despite her censoring of herself whenever the “s-word” came up: ‘Is she allowed to even listen to such an s-word song... especially with us in the car?!? I found it all hypocritically odd that she would not only listen to it, but actually enjoyed that (moreoverly ridiculous) song. It was absolutely no laughing/trivial matter to me because we students got scolded, and even spanked at her approval for saying that word!; and (e) also because I had the highest grades among that group of guys (second highest in my grade overall (second to the victim’s (L.) younger sister)), thus thinking that the principal would more readily believe a top student; -so, for parts of all of these reasons, which, especially with (a), (c) and (d), she seemed to most clearly understand, as seen in her then frantic, ‘lip-sealing’ miming gesture in clear, knowing reference to the circumstances in (d), (she would glance at me in her rearview mirror at my disapprovingly questioning reactions then), -I moved up in the sofa seat I was sitting in and, actually, defiantly (i.e., in a ‘punish this instead’ way!) blurted out our actual, justifying reason, for having done this: “...he hit (L.) right here [pointing to the similar head spot] yesterday, and now (L.) has a huge red bump on his head”. I was also implicitly, tonally, posing to her: “Did you guy even notice or deal with that? Don’t you care about us?” for clearly, they should have seen it. I am not sure if they, having probably already understood their non-feasance guilt, were going to punish us, but just to make sure that they did not even think that they could/should, or that they were being “merciful” in not doing so, I added: “He is not allowed to hit us in that way!!” I am pretty sure she got the intended legal message. Indeed one of my classmate instantly reacted indicating that ‘she gets it’, afraid that I would overpass my shown mercy here. However I wanted to drive in that owed responsibility also letting her understand that if he hit me like that I would go straight to the police. I think I was more surprised then her that I had said/intimated this to, however the restrained smile on her face as I was admittedly surprisingly saying/intimating this to her, was manifestly because she knew that this was right, and they were indeed, inexcusably, even criminally, completely wrong! And sure enough they let us go back to class with even saying, absolutely anything, indicatively enough, either way. A little while after we returned to the class, our homeroom teacher came back and called the boy (L.) to follow her. Apparently they then had him examined. As we had regained our seat, I intimated to the guy (an SDA by the way) that ‘we had done this for him, but next time... speak up for yourself.’

            Additionally, while we were in the principal’s office I had also added in my complaint to the principal, based on having overheard and been told of this teacher’s ‘ruthless and violent methods’ from his days at the French School, that: “He has always been that way!!” Tonally and “body-languagedly” intimating that they should have asked around about him before hiring him. Sure enough, probably not being able to make a mid-school year change, he was replaced for the start of the next school year (incidently by the spouse of my godfather). And come to think of it, for the rest of that school year, he actually, quite drastically changed. Indeed I do not even recall him actually disciplining a student after that, -observably, quite evidently being then under strict directives not to so do so again. In fact whenever he would “reprimand” a student after that (during his probably known, then “lame-duck” term), for e.g., talking in class or not doing their homework, with especially the then odd sheepish smiling smirk that would creep on his face in those instances, it was quite more hypocritically comical than purposefully disciplinary. I guess he learned his lesson!

            And upon me telling my parents of that school day’s strike, seeing how that teacher’s, (who they knew personally from having been members in his church), misbehavior was actually traumatizing me to the point of me skipping his class, my mother, fearing his out of control streaks, called him up and told him to never even hit me for any disciplinary reasons. His response became fodder for a family joke as he coyly tried to play the whole thing down by claiming that: ‘student of our day are just spoiled’, ‘if they were in their country of origin (Haiti) she would not even dare to complain in the light of the worse type of disciplinary punishment that was normative their’ and ‘it was because my parents, (manifestly mirroring other parents in such ‘western societies’) were so lax in disciplining their children that they were now complaining.’ To that, my mom, after playing around a bit with his manifest obliviousness to the dangerousness, and even criminality, of his actions, just pointedly restated her stern prohibition. (There actually had not been any conveyed/communicated ill-feeling in the discussion, which is why he was trying to play this all down, but he surely got the clear message.)

* A cursory and summary observation of mine, which, some {ca. 18} years later, through, confirmingly enough, the mandated professional examination of another SDA Academy, (this one in Miami, Florida), that also saw that his behavior was not at all “normal”, actually turned out to be the diagnosed, quasi-institutionalized, clinical case. {Manifestly the fact that he had a history of such abnormal/unmanageable/out of control and violent behavior, nor the specific case that he then here had technically criminally struck this student, never made it, or perhaps did not remain long enough, on his (even, presumably, SDA internal) “file”; -Or maybe this history/case was, hopefully, merely probationarily overlooked by, (as far as I am aware, at least) that future-employing SDA Academy.}

_________________

            In looking back upon such early childhood, genuine and candid occurrences, especially from the jaded and nuanced lens of retrospecting later adulthood, one can’t help but realize that that is indeed our life defining character (Pro 20:11), and like any “character” it was learned/shaped in various ways from an external, sub-consciously desired and thus influential source, and for me, in such situations, that was indeed clearly from the seriousness and voluntary/unforced leadership that I witnessed my father model in relation the Church and its work. Probably wouldn’t have stuck if I suspected that it was, in any way, “not real”.

[2] When I later, around the age of 6 or 7, became aware of the Biblical teaching of tithing, I decided to no longer be satisfied with, as I effectively was convicted of, “nickel and diming” God with my offerings, but instead whenever someone would give me money (e.g., $5/$10), I made proper change, and set apart a tithe of that gift, and that in a small separate money cardboard box that I had crafted and dedicated: “For the Tithe”, even making a second circular slot on its top side for the expected paper bills that I would be putting in this due to this higher yielding, “10%-of-all-monetary-gifts” approach. Clearly God immediately manifested His approval of this act of obedient faith, because in the first many instances of returning this tithe, immediately within their next week, someone (or some circumstance) would give me back that tithed amount, and many times, even much more, often, the full 100% of the amount from which I had tithed from in the first place. My parents were so shocked by this uncannily repeating occurrence, that when this was ceased, (i.e., as it is customary with God’s initial faith-confirming miraculous acts), they decided to deliberately be this “tithe fairy angel”. 
           (This early childhood tithing experience markedly affected me from then on, up through now, and, e.g., as related in this later experience, was a major underlying reason why I was at that time so stressed out over not being (timely) faithful in my tithing). 

[3] Significantly enough, it was my (now late [09/2010]) god-, and “spiritual”, father[D170; cf. D209c] (-who, while I was growing up was the constant personal evangelism “sidekick” of my father, thus also a great influence on, and example to, me), who had, back in the March 2000, suggested to me the alternative idea of making my planned WBSC Institute web-based, however, given the, relatively, rather primitive state of the internet then, particularly in regards to needed capabilities for networking, collaborative working, and relatively various communications, include A/V, I did not consider this as beneficial then, and therefore continued with my physical campus plans.

[4] Cases in point, around that age, though I was consciously striving to be a religiously-good person, I, comparing/gauging  myself with the best standard I then knew of: the unwavering devotion of my father, could only feel always self-judged for not doing all that I could be doing in that regard. So e.g., when, at around age 10, I had just received a brand new pair of beige, felt dress church shoes, and I had spent that first Sabbath Church Service constantly gazing down at them, while sitting in the front row, while my father was preaching, I spent the rest of the day, and most of that next week, feeling sorry about having done that after my father, later that Sabbath afternoon, quasi-teasingly and half-seriously, questioningly had pointed that out to me.

            Another such example occurred when I was asked to sing along in a special song with a small group of classmates from my Sabbath School class, but for various, and I’ll silently emphasize, quite valid reasons (one of them being one of my later mentioned “Thorns”), I decided not to. The Friday night before that special presentation, my father asked me why I was not going to participate. I could not tell him of those reasons (which I did not have an explanation for the “Thorn”, as during my Grade 1 accident in the hospital visit  (related below, in fact it was not until I was 30 that I told my parents about it.), and then went to bed. Having seen that he was more disappointed at the “senseless, reasonless” refusal, yet/but not upset, -visibly waving it off as ‘the fanciful caprice of a child’, I nonetheless began to sob aloud while laying in bed at this misunderstanding. My Father who, as I knew, as usual*, could, and would, hear me from his upstairs office, indeed did, and called me up. He sat me on his knee and tried to get me to say why I was not going sing, I still would/could not, and when he saw my genuine angst of being torn between telling him and not, he said that ‘it was okay’, wiped my tears, and sent me back to bed.

            The most striking of such examples of not wanting to disappoint/shame my father by literally being a bad example as, effectively, a ‘Lay “ePK”’, was when we were at the Conference campmeeting one summer (ca. 1985). On the Sabbath day, as common in SDA Campmeetings, the camp was the most attended, with buses coming from various Churches. Well that meant then that, after a week of having a few previously-known friends, I would now meet with many more friends from both Church School and other Local Churches. That indeed happened, and having spent that week exploring the mountain campground, I had come aware of a semi-beaten back trail through the woods that eventually led to the back of a natural pond[D222 (recent satellite photo w/backwoods path to now drained pond.)] and an above ground pool (where my sister was baptized) that was on that now changed campground. So I thus naturally led this newly regrouping of friends of mine on this expedition. When we did get to the back of the pond, -a muddy and marshy pond that was known for having frogs in it, I noticed a small dirt isle in about the middle of the pond. I somehow got the “great idea” to go to that small isle. After a couple of steps into the pond, I figured that it could be easily done as the water was quite shallow, and was persuading the others to follow after me. To show them that it was feasible/safe, I fully went ahead first. To my surprise, though it did not phase me, the pond quickly proved to be a little deeper with each step I took. To the point that when I did reach the isle, I had been ca. shin deep in the mud. Another friend of mine (the guy who had finished first in the foot race mentioned later in the “Thorns For the Flesh” section), followed me, but the rest decided to remain on the banks. However once the adrenaline involved here subsided I looked down at my feet and saw what looked like the buried silhouette of two large toads. That completely spooked me and my friend, and now realizing the drowning hazard of that mud pond that obviously had a very unstable/uncertain bottom, we did not want to venture back through it to the bank, fearing that this time we would accidentally follow a route that would come to be deeper. So we, and my other friends, started crying out for help. A church member that I knew, surnamed by people as “Prophet” (or was/is that his actual given name?), came running to our rescue. As he first stood on the near, opposing side of the pond, we pointed to him how to go around the pond to where we entered it, as it was closer to the bank, than that other, and non-forded side. So he did, and I’ll never forget the compassionate sight. He was dressed in a, literally sun glistening, all-white suit, yet he did not hesitate one moment, nor even seem to consider that his suit was going to get messed up, as he began to come into the pond after us. Seeing, as he very quickly got shin deep in the mud, that he was really going to mess up his suit. I frantically urged him to stop. After a little more urging, I convinced him not to come in further and that we were going to walk back on our own instead. By this time, the news that ‘a couple of kids were in the infamous mud/frog pond’ had spread like a brush fire around the camp, and I could see, looking back towards the campground, a wave of people running down the slightly sloped field towards the pond. So I decided again, as this situation and whole commotion was all my fault, to go first to trail the best path back towards the bank for my friend. I tried to retrace my exact steps but that was impossible. The muddy waters had left no trace of the path that we had taken. After only a couple of steps back, I most evidently took a completely different path back and/or the previous bottom suddenly gave, because I was now a little above waist deep in mud. The man on the banks, “Prophet”, seeing this, began again to come further in after me, however I, despite being waist deep, managed to talk him out of it pointing out that it would probably be worst for him as he was heavier than me/us. So he instead got a long thick branch and was holding out above the water as far as possible for me to reach it, but it was still short. Most fortunately for me, and then my friend behind me, that was the deepest that pond got and we both made it out. Yet “Prophet”, in complete disregard for his suit, had even lunged towards me for the last few steps as I was slightly tottering on an uncertain pond floor. We both, I especially, profusely thanked him for what he had done, and to this day I can’t help but be thankful to him for this whenever I meet him.

            However by this time, this news had reached the main meeting tent where a Church Service was going on, and someone had told my father about me being one of those stranded kids, and he was now coming running, as I was making my way up that sloped field. I had already been most embarrassed at/for the assembled crowd, but when I saw my father coming running, with a convert-pastor friend of his next to him, I more deeply felt sorry, mostly for having so publicly embarrassed him. I felt this so deeply that I began wailing**, and moreover, having no reasonable excuse at all, as this had all been my unforced venture and fault. My father proceeded to make things “alright” by there giving me hug though I was covered up to my waste in mud. Though I indeed had no excuse for this great disturbance, that at least helped to here publicly “whitewash” me as, as I actually truly was, and cared to be so, not being a boy who customarily did such disorderly/mischievous these things. A shower and clothing change later, followed up by the ascertaining visits of “Prophet” and the convert-pastor friend of my father (pertinently more on this pastor later in Note #31), I became, more paramountly, religio-psychologically fine.

* This sounding was “usually” known because, growing up I had a recurring nose bleeding problem whenever my room would get too dry. And when that would happen, so that I would not spread blood everywhere as I made my way to my parents room, after a couple of such happenings, which were indeed tedious to clean up, I would just stay in bed and loudly imitate the sound of the siren of an ambulance, and sure enough my parents would hear me, and come running to my aid, -finding my pillow soaked in blood. That nose bleeding problem was finally fixed once and for all, when, after the use of a humidifier still did not prevent it, in then a subsequent occurrence, as usual, in the middle of the night (how/why I always woke up still beats me as I was a deep sleeper, and really should, and easily could, have bled to death, my parents took me straight to the hospital emergency room, and a doctor actually proceeded to singe/fuse off/closed the blood capillary/vessel in my nose that he saw was keeping on rupturing.

            The most eerie thing of all in relation to this was when, in 2007, I anecdotally told my then 9 year-old niece of how this used to always happen to me, and that very night she, for the first, and only time ever, she also had a nose bleed!?? (It also woke her up, -her however being a light sleeper.). One’s mind can be, and is, a powerful thing!

** Years later, during the 2000 GC Session in Toronto, I met with a friend, who I had become acquainted with while in Miami, in early 1997, as she had come to the University of Miami for a semester as an exchange student from her Ottawa, Ontario University, and was attending my local Church#, and we were both surprised to see, while trying to find a seat at the GC and came across “Prophet”, that we both knew him. Well I then, in still profusing, genuine, great gratitude, told her of how he had rescued me at that mid 1980's campmeeting. She suddenly stopped me in mid-story and said: ‘Ohhhh.... so it was you who was that boy who was wailing like that’, as she had actually been there. - Oooops... I didn’t realize it had been/appeared that bad, and I had moreover seemingly, actually come across as a cry baby. I knew I was not, and that it was pointedly, and solely for the ‘father-public-embarrassing’ reasons that/why I had so cried.

# And in a “small world” sense, I was quite surprised to find out while, after she had accepted my invitation to have her Sabbath Lunch with us, that when she told my parents about her parents it turned out that (a) my parents knew her parents, and moreover (b) my mom had, back in 1970, then not married, been a supposed “romantic interest” of my friend’s, also then not married, father. [Though my mom had suspected that that “interest” was opportunistically linked to the fact that she was about to lawfully emigrate to Quebec, Canada, as such “departing attachments” were actionably/beneficially customary then.] Whatever the case, we are obviously glad that that didn’t work out.

[5] Indeed, because of my mom’s patent and many ‘simple and working ideas’ in many different areas, including in her brother[D197 (with me in photo)]’s field of mechanical engineering, she had been reknownly dubbed as: “The Practical Woman”. (Significantly enough, it was this brother of hers who, seeing/knowing how innately intelligent my mom also was/has been, but not finding work since immigrating to Canada in her prior teaching profession, and instead doing at home sowing work, insistently encouraged her to get a degree nursing, which she did starting at the age of 32, graduating at 36, indeed being, as she, seemingly daily, “ventingly” related in our hearing, at the great jealousy of self-inducedly ‘threatened’ “ethnically local” classmates, and, quasi-persecutively, even some “ethnically local” professors, but correspondingly, to the ‘cheering on’ delight of like ethnicity class-|origin country- mates, the constant head of her classes. As one professor ““Freudianly” confessed” to her: ‘she did not get those high grades when studying nursing.’)

[6] Indeed, in self-psychoanalysis, I can see that from my mother’s side[D182] I took/assimilated what I personally wanted to be (i.e. temporally - someone who got to the bottom of things with practical and to-the-point, and fully satisfactory, solutions)*, while from my father’s side[D183] I took/assimilated what I knew I should be (Spiritually - someone who took the work of God most passionately, seriously, no matter the present (various life) circumstances and obstacles). Eventually these two temporal-Spiritual aspects interchangeably merged in my various tasks, where applicable, to aid each other achieve the ultimate, Biblical end of ‘doing them all to the glory of God’ (1 Cor 10:31).

* My mom, in her late-teens, early-twenties had been studying/training to be a nun, until, in an interesting blending of the religious and ‘to-the-point’ practicality, she heard that the Catholic Church was going to no longer make daily confession, which she utterly loathed, mandatory. [A decision manifestly made and later released around or after the end of the 1962-1965 Vatican II Ecumenical Council]. One would think that, with that loathed practised (finally) removed, this would get someone who was so dedicated to the Church to relievedly, and thus indifferently/defensively, condoningly, want to remain in it, however that sudden major reversal and undoing led my mom to: (1) self-observe that ‘clearly the Papacy was as “infallible” as they claimed to be’; and (2) to question ‘what other teachings had  the Church so dogmatically “erred” in??’ This ‘truth dawning’ led her to leave the Catholic Church when, soon after this, she came across the SDA message.

[7] This desire was heightened when our congregation, though not yet a formal Church, had been assigned a pastor whose sermons were mainly Bible story-based, injecting also some of his own experiences. As a youngster that caused me to listen more closely to his sermons and got me to think that pastoring can be fun and “real”. However, this “bubble” was caused to spring a leak, typologically enough, when I, seeking to be baptized, then a few weeks before my 12^th birthday, asked this pastor, after a church service where he had preached, if he would to the baptism. I was literally, and I fully recall, visibly, quite shocked and dumfounded,  when he straightly answered that he wouldn’t be able to do it because he, (being then 65), was retired. My first thought was: ‘Pastors retire???’; then, ‘How does even that affect/prevent doing a Baptism?!?’ and also ‘How come you are still preaching then!?!’, then knowing how devoted my father was in Church work despite not being and pastor and never being paid, I just inwardly decried this whole “In-Church system” as just weird (i.e., non-biblical). It may have been because I then, after this visible billboard sequencing of thoughts, proceeded to just stomp off in anger as such a claimed “worldly” reason, but he later ‘came out of retirement(?)’ and perform the baptism[D70a], at another church, as well as, (if I recall precisely, as I was the first to be baptized and did not see the other two), the ones of two other people[D70b], who were from that other church, (including the older brother of the perpetrator in the 3^rd story in Note #1).

            All this to say that, from very early on, I found it most odd that worldly system should have control over any aspect of the Church’s work, and once again it evidently, subconsciously, was because of the non-paid, devoted, extra-ordinary lay efforts and works of my father; -who in turn was continuing to be faithful to his own, subsequently divinely-confirmed, lay calling.

[8] This attraction to the mechanical, borne mainly out of my more pragmatic/practical, (indeed greatly “wowed/awed” up to then, by how my Mechanical Engineering Uncle always used to seemingly, if not literally, ‘just get any needing mechanical thing fixed’), and technical aspect of things, was also reflected in my interest then to become pastor seeing how Bible Stories did have tangible applications vs. then, the Theological, yet also in the presentation, I much preferred content/substance over demonstration. Case in point, when I was selected for my sixth grade graduation (from the SDA (now) Greaves Academy, -the namesake of my 1st-5th grade principal) as the class pastor[D92A]* and assigned to deliver a sermon, I knew from the start that I was going to focus on the content and how to accurately deliver it, rather than spend time memorizing it to put on the expected show, taking the risk, with this being my first sermon, of forgetting my words and/or becoming nervous and actually thus ruining the intended message of my sermon to my classmates. I perceived that some of them, probably the non-SDA’s would not be returning as our school had, establishment wise, dwindled down to a dilapidated , half-condemned building (which had (most unsafely) been broken into and/or internally vandalized, seemingly, every other month during that past year). So I wanted to try to apply for them what they had, pertinently, (hopefully) religiously been thought while at this SDA School, showing how this part of the education should practically translate with them. Hence my (impressed) odd, “Instrument of God’s Peace” topic. (A thematically-linked pre-cursor of God’s Eschatological “Covenant of Peace” motif??! - cf. here). Also, a burdenly deliberate underlying “pastorally-licensed” intention to my sermon was to “apologetically help them to understand that (despite this bad SDA example) it was the ‘unwavering light of the Bible’ that they needed to adhere to. So I probably surprised the people in the audience, having had managed to convince my teacher by then, that this was the best course to follow, when I walked on stage with the entire written sermon (1.25 pages[D93-D94] - seemed like 10 pages when delivering it), and read it through word for word, focusing instead on clearly and pointedly conveying it to my classmates.[D72] Indeed when I reached that ‘apologetic instruction’ on Psa 119:105, I squarely turn towards my classmates sitting of to my left, to directly address them on this understood issue, even “pastorally”, blessingly, implicitly intimated (for any conscience-needing chance) that their non-return would be understood as with justified cause. To paraphrasingly use/apply a dramatic-license presumed statement of Joan of Arc when she was being “encouraged” by senior military officials to ‘just play the (figurehead) part of “this (believed) maid” but keep quiet in actual war plannings’...: ‘I am not pretending people, I am here by the will of God, the Authority of my Teacher and the Blessings of this Church School. And I say that these honest students must be freed of any such pressuring guilt!!’ [01:03:42ff] (clip). Sure enough, only one of these 11 classmates (6 were non-SDA’s)[D92B] returned for the 7^th Grade) with 2 new, other non-SDA students coming in, with our school then being held in various rooms in a local Church (with my grade’s class being in a section of the fellowship hall) for the first part of the year, and then in a Church member’s empty two-storey attached house.[see in D118]** (To their, and our, dismay, my parents also pulled my sister and me out of the school for the next year following this ever-deepening debacle, putting us in local public schools, as the travel (4 hours round trip) and the tuition cost, as well as the felt shoddy education, was not worth these various investments. (When the three teachers in the school with school age children opt not to put (none but one (2nd grade kid) of 5 of) their own children in the school, you know something is up. Even if this was done so that they could take a pay cut, they could still have made their kids attend the school for moral support. Their, even free, attendance really wouldn’t have “cost” anything extra to even us paying students.) Attending public school for the first time in my life opened up a new, at times directly confrontational, quasi-legal, and even physical,*** front for me[cf. in D189-D192; cf. in D200] against either/both students and teachers in regards to non-encountered affronts such as: evolutionary teaching****, the “devoted” treating of common/secular, even fictional, works and literature as if they were inspired writings and contained the keys for life; attempted bullying, another teacher with (though physically, but not verbally, “contained”) anger management issues, watching PG-13 movies in (French) class (sure we were all "13"+, but... Come on!!!*****- I did not actually watch, nor, out of audible necessity, listen to, these presentations (moreover the whole ‘crooks [nevermind that they were dressed as clowns] successfully robbing a bank’ theme of one of those movies was also just as offensive to me), opting instead to bury head and attention in a sports book, defiantly daring the (offending) professor to try to reprimand me); sex education in “Moral and Religious” class (which has now been removed in Quebec public schools), etc.) (I did manage to ‘leave my “mark”’ during those first two years in public school, being one of ca. 20-25 students (out of, puzzingly enough, ca. 300-400 students in each of these grades) to make the principal’s honor roll (for getting an overall 85+% grade average[e.g. D212 & D177 (D176); cf. in D189-D191] - my name is still on a plaque on the walls there), before moving to Florida for Grades 10-12, also in a public school, where, to my disappointment such “outstanding achievements”, which I would have qualified for[see D213], were not similarly recognized, however, tellingly enough in a country where college education was much more expensive than Canada, it had its financial rewards.[see D214 & D215])

* I, (disappointingly), remember missing (also?) being “Valedictorian” by a couple of percentage points, to, actually my physical neighbor (2 houses over), a non-SDA, whose, Catholic mother had since Grade 3, been sending her to this school[cf. D119 vs. D171 & D211#] of ours (i.e., my sister’s and mine) because she was ‘looking for a good school, indeed bypassing several other (even Catholic) public and private schools).’ Not surprising that following the here later mentioned, debacle of the school, this classmate was also withdrawn from the school and, adding ‘insult to us, to her injury’ placed in a (an all-girls), private, Catholic (boarding) High School ca. 0.5 (as-the-crow-flies) miles from where our SDA (duplex) school was for my 7th Grade.[D118] Even more humiliating/reproaching, we often met her on long public transportation trip back home, though by then we had moved (further away, north) from that neighborhood.
            (Incidently, that former neighbor and classmate, sent me bawling one morning back inside my house,  to my mother, during our pre-kindergarten year in a neighborhood public school[D119 - hint: solid overalls], when, having been raised by my parents to ‘look away and/or turn the dial when people are “[French] kissing” on TV’ (which was also the [pre- Age of Unreason] directorial norm of many in early TV/Cinema), when she, being accustomed to greet her father with a “(French) peck” responded to my friendly smile to her (as we, along with my sister, had been friends for many of our early years) that morning, as we centrally met in front of the house between ours to await for the school bus, with such a “unholy kiss.” My mom finally was able to convince me that she had not just morphed into Jezebel, all while, the since arrived, school bus waited. However, retrospectively sad enough, though then justifiable, I was severely traumatized by the single, age 5, incident, to the point where I can now recount on one and a half hands, the times when I, in a  friendly, if actually/probably for any reason, ever addressed her again... ever again, helplessly, traumatizedly afraid that she would so wrongly mistake my friendliness again!! (Led to many, actually uncomfortable and awkward situations throughout those next ca. 8+ years given that we travelled everyday together and my sister was still a good friend of hers. (See also the accidental incident alluded to in D201). Knowing that it was her (not-so-seriously-Catholic(??)) father who had led her to accept this greeting act as normal, I also equally very reticent with him from then on. Oh Well! I just could not perish the thought that I had been, and that, double-teamedly, Religiously violated.)##

# [I somehow, suddenly, “miraculously” was healed from having to wear glasses after seeing this photo, which I indeed increasingly rarely, then never, did after that. (I guess I had not needed them “just like my sister” after all. (I also Samsonlike-vowed, from that picture on, to never let anyone else, but my father cut my hair, as I trustingly had not done the weekend before that photo!)]

## Come to more deeply think of it, stemming from asking “why” questions from the D119 photo which then floodingly led to many recollections, it has indeed led me to recall that there was more of a cause-to-effect reason for her profusely affectionate act here. That initial “why” question was, “why was I so ‘standing on guard’, and actually laughing vs. merely smiling, in that photo?’ The answer was because my teacher, there standing behind and next to me, had just placed my hands/arms loosely there, to my side so that I could have a proper stance for the photo, and at first was holding me so that I would maintain that pose. I found it odd and funny that I was being treated special here. Why did I so have to have the best maintained stance in the photo. That was all because, in the past, during that school year, I had survived a barrage of learned, quasi- prejudice, bigoted & racist comments and actions from many of the other students in that class, and while on the school bus rides, as had my sister the year before. However being younger here, I had learned from her own experiences and also from how my parents had helped her deal with them, as they also were dealing with such actions from adults of this local ethnic majority. So e.g., with 1979-80 being a high point in Quebec nationalistic ambitions (see here), when I was told to “go back to your country”, I laughingly, had learn to reply: “I am in my country!!!” And when I was asked ‘why my skin was ‘brown/black’’, out of my own concoction, I most-amusedly (at such ignorance) replied: “My mother forgot me in the toaster.”  (Though, scientifically speaking, that may ulteriorly be quite close to the truth. See my observations on this from this post.) And so on. Indeed as my parents continually to, themselves laugh at the prejudices and bigotry that they were subjected to in those times, and substantively debunk them, especially for us, when actually, substantively applicable/necessary, I not only had an answer for most of their attacks, but also found it hilarious how ignorant they really were (and also, as inherently the cause, ‘were being raised to be’).

            So during these times, I remember once trying to see/test if my teacher was also as bigotedly warped minded as some of these kids were, but recall, recognizingly/knowingly, deliberately not getting anything either way from her. I then assumed that she was just trying to remain neutral in all of this, and not take sides, perhaps seeing that I was dealing quite well with it on my own, manifestly due to some adult coaching, and who knows, perhaps was also addressing her own innate feelings. So, in this photo, when she tried to rearrange me for a better stance, and maintain it, I was actually quite surprised that she actually so cared, even briefly looking back at her, since I would not standing that differently from anyone else. So I then assumed a supposedly incontrovertible “on guard” stance and laughed at the fact that I had actually pulled away from her maintaining grasp so that the photo would not be taken while she was doing this, -for her sake, as she, as “evidently” demonstrated in the past, did not want to be known as one who was ‘pro-actively “sympathetic”’ to ethnic minorities.

            Well it was at the height of this constant bigoted ribbing that I smilingly overly-greeted this neighbor friend of mine on one of those mornings, as she was not like the other kids at school and was not bigoted, indeed as a fellow immigrant-child minority being of Italian descent. So I was glad that I could trust her in this regard. Unfortunately she took it either wrong, or probably, too far, and my ensuing bawling and return inside my house to my mom was, markedly, recalledly, indeed couched in a ‘Nooooo... not in that way’ thought, -indeed immediately attributing her ‘perverting’ here, as I then looked towards her house, which she also questionedly did, to her father. And the fact that I had stomped back inside the house to my mom was substantively because, in all of this, my mom manifestly was the only one that I could trust to rightly, (i.e., Godly) love/care for me.

            Given how I was, out of spurious and false bias reasons, mistreated during that early childhood time, it was actually a shaping reason to my character as I did not want to so mistreat someone simply based upon their external appearance or other related prejudices. So I naturally became drawn to befriending those people who many people socially do summarily reject and ignore (thematically ala. Heb. 2:18) [indeed starting that very school year with a guy, Hugo by name, who had a ‘neuro-physical’condition which caused his body’s muscles to always be spasmodically contorting[see (e.g.) in D119, far right], apparently medically termed Athetosis@], which has culminated in my current Matt 25:31-45-anchored endeavors to seek to physically help those who are currently being ignored by socio-financially well-off people, including in the SDA Church, particularly, the most vulnerable of all, subject-to-be-aborted infants.

@ Interestingly enough, and hopefully, (but probably), not by contagious transmission, as recounted in the “Thorns For the Flesh” section in this post, I later discovered, a couple of years later, in the first, and from what I have, in writing/researching this, just, [FINALLY!] self-diagnostically, figured out, that I have, (or apparently: ‘have been “given”’ i.e., indeed so due to the following seemingly unique characteristic), a much, much milder, specifically-triggered-occasional, form of this ‘neuro-physical’ condition!

** In one incident that year, the teacher who had spanked me back in Grade 1, in the above related incident in Note #1(1), had now become the principal in this, my Grade 7, well one day, we (the six of us in Grades 7[4] and 8[2] were all carrying on while waiting for an extremely late teacher to come to class, and he, with his office being in a room right next to ours, overheard us and opened the door. Everybody, being fearful of him, immediately stopped, but I, being the only SDA in my class, and by now being completely upset at how they had let the school degrade to this shoddy institutional, organizational and educational level, and feeling that I thus had the responsibility to stand up and protest this for the other students, who were somewhat accepting all of this as normal, I defiantly continued my conversation with my classmate, despite the fact that she was no longer paying attention to me, but to the principal. My whole point here was pointedly that, since he is not the scheduled teacher, then if they really want us to behave, then let them timely keep their teaching schedules. He clearly noticed my defiance but was still going to understandingly, guiltily ‘take it’, and was beginning to leave and pull the door closed, when I, having “pity” on him, with him looking more like a whipped guard dog, and, benefit-of-the-doubtly, thinking that he was maybe doing the best he could despite the present debacled appearances/conditions, looked at him as if to say: “well you are not even going to punish me?!?’ In all of this, I sacrificially wanted to show to my other classmates, all non-SDA’s, that the school still had discipline. He got the “baiting message” and motioned to me to follow him to his office. So I did, and when he got there, I was actually shocked that he was going to really spank me. I thought this would be a mutually understood ‘...let’s say we did’ thing, but as the class was right next door, he probably saw that it wouldn’t fool anyone. So I, now seething at this adverse turn of events, concedingly, disgruntledly held out my hand, but again, just like back in Grade 1 with him, likewise in protest, indeed reenacting that first grade protest, I moved my hand away at the first attempted blow. This time, probably instantly recalling that first grade incident, he didn’t insist to continue, and, dropping the ruler, motioned that I could go back to class. Knowing pointedly why I had “allowed” all of this, and also wanting to get my protesting point across, I then motioned to him that ‘he should spank himself for this embarrassing, make-shift situation that we were in. Having made my point, and with him deservingly, silently “taking it,” I left, going back to class with a covered up satisfaction for having made my point to him.

            In recollection, this ‘deliberate message vs. show’ attitude was my innate modus operandi, as also, when I was much young, (probably 6 or 7), I had been asked to recite a Bible text along with others in front of the Church, while I had been asked to join in doing this only that Sabbath morning, although it was an easy text, and I was asked to, and probably could have, memorized it, I figure then that since the goal was, or was supposed to be, the hearing of God’s word, then it was more important for me to properly read it, than to show how I had memorized it. So I insisted on having my Bible in hand, so that I could read it. Point passed!

            It was not that I was against Scripture memorization, it was just that I did not see any practical/necessary application to this memorization except merely for demonstration. In fact, also around this time, while in the second grade, we were going to have a test for Bible class in which we had fill in a table on the message to the 7 Churches in Revelation, topically mentioning their distinct elements under each Church heading. So, then seeing a practical application/need for this memorization, I proceeded to indeed memorize Rev 2 & 3, (finally practising what I had memorized during my 1.5 hour public bus ride to school the morning of the test), and aced the test. However, I recall feeling disappointed when the test was finished that I (foreseeably) really would not have another application for all that I had memorized.

            I still have this approach today which has extended into the deeper fields of Bible Study. There is much insistence on “Scripture memorization”, however as I understand the purpose of this effort to be, to ‘have the word of God in one’s heart’, I rather focus more on properly understanding “God’s word,” rather than memorizing a specific text and its location. Indeed when it is discovered that the text memorized has a more accurate rendering elsewhere in another version, this whole exercise can be self-muddling and even futile. However, in my view, this confusion is avoided by instead doing a more comprehension-based study.

            This approach also extends into the area of Biblical Discussion/Debate where I prefer to give a thought-out reply than the quick quip for a facially plausible, bantering retort. This is fundamentally why I have opted to engage, at the moment, in more in depth Biblical Research rather than public preaching/pastoring as, in many ways, I found out that what I was assuming as true still needed to first be concretely established, if not entirely corrected. Many in the Church today, being aware of this deficiencies, instead prefer to focus on what they think they know “for sure”, and cursorily ignore the opposing arguments and/or even unsure/unknown areas, however, most people who do not accept the Remnant Church’s message, do not do so because they object to the “known/sure proofs” but, honestly and sincerely, because of the, even handful of the quite strongly “opposing” ones.

            I cannot say for sure if this “certainty vs. show” preference of mine from my youth was naturally developed, or God-given/infused (cf. Jer 1:5), or, probably a combination of both, but either way, looking back on how, and where it has guided me, I equally thank God for this. Along the lines of the proverbial/fable saying: ‘It is better to start off on the right foot than to forego/procrastinate this ‘fundamental right footing’’; indeed only destined to result in a futile, mad dash at the “end.” (Cf. Matt 25:1-13).

***I.e., e.g., (me and my then ca. 5'5" ca. 120lbs) vs. a (ca. 6ft) moronic goon, an arrogantly/permissively presumptuous (ca. 160lbs) “big guy” [he came to need stitches], a (6ft+) attempting bully (who manifestly felt “threatened by” the fact that I (for now a fourth straight grade) carried around a briefcase as my school bag [originally a gift of my godmother[see in D182 - w/glasses], which I myself had now, honorarily, (re-)purchased after that first one had become too beat up (from having been treated as any normal school bag, along with customarily using it as a seat while waiting for the bus; [treated the second one more care-fully]) by my 6th grade)]; a fronting thug; as well as a couple of aspiring sociological/psychological bullies# all of which required such corresponding “reactions” to, indeed, permanently put them back in their place. As I told one, based on 3 (=1X+2X) past experiences, one of my, post-matter, inquiring teachers (Weight Training) in the aftermath of the expulsion of that thug (who was on the wrestling team), (who had also been a student of his), after he, while before the assistant principal for his committed (criminal) offense, had “accidentally” given his actual home address instead on the false one had been registered in the school with, during a seemingly perfunctory address double checking, (perhaps simply to ascertain the current mailing address to mail the assistant principal’s decision), which then suddenly, yet inclusively, trumped the 3-day suspension that he had just been given, -“[‘One Way (1X) or the other (2X)’] No one hits me and gets away with it!!## [Recently saw the “attempting bully” in a local newscast during a report on the Food Bank that he was working (or volunteering) in.]

            Incidently, the assistant principal had (quite self-evidently, “moronically”, I’ll preface) presumed to also give me a similar 3-day suspension because he (wrongly) felt that what I had said to the thug, as I myself had freely here related to him, had instigated/aggravated the incident. [Or, he, at my frustration at the selectively incomplete (= lying) account of thug had tried to pull a Solomon here (1 Kgs 3:25) to figure out who was telling the truth here - I really could not tell. My initial response however was, truthfully, along these Biblical lines as I asked: “Why should I get (equally) punished because he’s lying” -i.e., he was not telling the (following) whole story???] Knowing, and as I also had related to the assistant principal, that: (1) before I had made that, actually non-profane, matter-of-fact, statement, which pointedly addressed that guy’s real psychological issue here, to somehow now more forcefully get him to stop what he was insultingly, and even potentially harmingly, insisting on doing towards me, I had first twice, calmly had asked him to stop; and (2) I actually had not responded his subsequent, vexatious, “sucker punch” across the face, simply to not cause a circus scene in the school (the cafeteria), as it was commonly the case when fights broke out, with even the security guards[D142] just standing by, like hockey referees, and virtually quasi-cheering on a fight before they stepped in as it was ending, I, though ready to conceded a lesser punishment of e.g, 1 day or ½ a day or in some other form, took great offence to this offensive equating pronouncement and so, deliberately going over the principal’s head, simply for the way she had embarrassingly called me out of the (long) lunch line (morevover I was (finally) actually close to checking out), in a sort of a “perp walk” way, to summon me to this present meeting,### told the assistant principal (as I then got up and was leaving) expressedly ala Paul in Acts 25:11, that: “I appeal to the (..) School Board’” (indeed daring him to just try to further infringe upon my, even in this, paramountly “Supremely” trumping “Constitutional Freedom of Speech and Expression”). He never did enforce this pronounced and the next time I came across him a couple of days later while in the front of the school as students were heading home, he started to come over to me, maybe to formally announce to me that his pronounced suspension on me had been dropped, or even, judging by his cowering reaction, to pre-emptingly try to avoid me indeed following through, but by the way I actually, warningly, scowled at him, proceeding to headmotion to the police car that was, as customary, parked in front of the school when it ended, he stopped in his tracks and returned back where he had been standing, probably fully understanding that, seriously, if he dared make any (more) “moronic”,  insulting/aggravating/upsetting comment to me on this issue, such as: ‘why I had not followed through with my appeal’ I would indeed proceed to “throw the book” on this matter and, on top of indeed appealing his groundless and abusive decision to the school board, which, moreoverly, legally, indeed violated my first amendment right, (1) press criminal charges on the guy for the assault, (2) sue the school for non-feasance as, at least, one security guard[D142 - T.M.], as their indifferent preference was, had just stood by and did not intervene in this matter which he saw happen right before him. At the very least, that thug should have been immediately “taken in” by him for that, indeed criminal act, instead of him manifestly just waiting for a fight to break out before intervening, and near the end of it of course.

            In fact in one of such fights and, without fault, accompanying “circus scene”, between two guys and indeed what seemed like the whole school having quickly gathered around cheering it on, and sure enough, these security guards just standing there, on the inner ring of that frenzied circle, just watching the two guys wail away at each other, I, being on my way to my locker, was being blocked by this crowd, but, not wanting to be a spectator of this, nor also wanting to hang around and watch/witness one of those guys possibly receive a fatal blow, as I, by then semi-regrettably, experientially knew could potentially, easily happen, (which was another reason why I would later not fight with the thug. Another reason was that I was now living in a whole different environment in Miami were access to, and use of, guns was common, even by students as another student would at a future time, verbally threaten me with following a small altercation (i.e., my one-armed flooring, ‘out-of-my face’ removal of him for his, completely gameless, ‘NBA-style’, but variously quasi-assaulting, “in-your-face” dunking mimicking, of all other available space, right, indeed, in my face, at the field goal post/soccer net crossbars that I was standing under, then watching the gym class football scrimmage from the sidelines), saying that he would bring his father’s gun the next day -which he did not, -but I still should have reported that pointed, criminal threat), made my way through that outer ring of people in front of me, then nonchalantly walked across the open fighting circle space, by the two guys, causing them to puzzledly diminish their fighting to try to figure out what I was doing, and then, when they, by my actual total ignorance of them and probably the cringed look on my face, understood that I indeed did not want to ‘hang around and watch them potentially, literally kill each other,’ they suddenly switched their mode of pugilistic fighting to mere wrestling, actually now just passively holding each other in some sort of wrestling hold, to which these guards, now, stepped in to separate them. So I’ll indeed take credit here over these guards for having stopped that fight and while it may be argued that (like hockey referees) these security guards should not put themselves in harms way in/when trying to break up a fight, it can easily be seen that if they had a truly “zero tolerance” attitude, they could have actively done much more to actively, verbally encourage/order the fight to end asap, rather than just passively hanging around and “spectating”.

# These, respectively, peer pressuring and ethnical, aspiring sociological/psychological bullies (during my Miami High School days) both immediately cowered back into their “shell” when I openly offered them, both in the middle of class, and interruptingly loud enough so/that the teacher could, and did hear, to, euphemistically speaking, ‘“settle” our manifest, supposed, otherwise “non-reconcilable” differences once and for all after school.’ I think the fact that the teachers, (one of them being one guy’s varsity football head coach [I was then on the junior varsity team]), who had been witnessing their encroachments, and my growing/festering annoyance to it, heard this and said, nor did, absolutely anything against it, nor me, scared them just a little less than the fact that they could readily sense that I was most serious. It must have been that trumpily quasi-maniacal smirk on my face that conveyed this notion resulting from knowing that I previously had already “settled” such affair with guys that were virtually twice their size/weight!

            In fact this ‘open during-class challenging’ is exactly the same way I had ‘settled’ my “difference” with the ‘(6ft+) attempting bully’, through a statement that technically, probably constituted a felony, yet the teacher then, ironically enough, of our Moral and Religious Education class [in, go figure, a public school system] also did not reprimand me, nor stop me from, (without permission), storming out of the class so that I could actually blow off this steam and get myself back under control so as to not actually follow through (then and there) with my “promise”. When I returned back to the class, the teacher still said absolutely nothing in way of reprimand, and of all things, the attempting bully sheepishly tried to patch things up. [Similarly, the “moronic goon” mentioned above was literally paralyzed into no further action, nor reaction, by the clearly understood, implied ‘you deserve it’ faulting by the non-intervening-in-any-way, game-officiating Phys. Ed. teacher, as I was finishing on my own terms/extent, (i.e., on, what ended up being, a 7-to-1 ratio), what that goon had physically instigated.].

            My main point in all of this is certainly not to advocate for such verbal quasi-confrontations for problem resolutions, but instead to highlight that such sociological/psychological bullies, especially at such teenage developmental ages, are usually acting in a sort of quasi-hypnotic conditioning where it takes such a “jolt of consequences” to make them realize the detrimental effects that their words/actions are having. And what clinches this psychoanalysis in those personal incidents is that, overall, all six of these variously confronted guys tried to, and that quite genuinely, get along with me afterwards, quite manifestly out of feeling guilty that they had got me (the “quiet kid” -which is why they had presumed to cross me) that upset!! The psychological truth is that they had not, up to then, realized how “ugly” and “cruel” they actually personally were/had been and so, they did not afterwards, indeed after having deliberately been openly exposed as really being quite despicable, want to maintain this embarrassing course. And as my hostility against then from then on would be a perpetual reminder of that fact about them, they therefore tried to have it disappear as fast, and as completely, as possible. 

## In applicably only one incident@ was this not the case as, while on the return portion of my 8600-mile, Summer 1996 road trip[D202-D205], after having spent a day visiting Washington D.C., I had gone to nearby Baltimore to go to a game[D236a] in order to visit the then 4-year old “Oriole Park” (the first of the “retro” major league ballparks vs. the common stadiums). During the game, as I had ‘seated myself’ some rows up on the first base side, just beyond first base, an actual line drive foul ball, which I peripherally noticed just in time to duck as it sailed just a few inches right over where my head had been. I could have just reached up and caught it, (at least try, knocking it down) but being so irked by how close that ball was coming towards me, when first noticed, and then had come to hitting me, I disgustedly just let it go by.@@ However I then, though being still upset at this close call, decided to get up and retrieved the foul ball which was actually just laying a few feet behind me in the first row of that section of seats. It was indeed so close to me that no one else had bothered to get up and get it, but then seeing that I was not going to get it, a few people then came running to get it. However despite my delayed action, I still got to where it was first and hurriedly reached my hand under the seat where it was just before a closest guy to it, second to me, could bend down and take it. In hurriedly reaching in like this I had actually scrapped my forearm on the cement flooring. I then also noticed that I almost wrecked my (only expensive-looking) wristwatch[D237] in the process. As I was looking it out to see if it was not scratched (notice the inherently involved time that had passed by), while also holding the ball, thus all for now a few seconds, that closest guy who had been standing there watching me inspecting my watch suddenly, in manifest frustration that I had gotten a ball which I evidently didn’t really care for and also manifestly because I was so “caring” for my watch, and apparently also wanting to “teach me a lesson” about ‘the risks involved in/associated with getting a foul ball,’ seemingly pointedly targeting my watch, just forcefully, pummeledly, steppingly laid, with his shiftedly thrusted full (over)weight injected, right into my forearm which was still laying against the concrete floor. It was “on its face” clearly an unnecessary, thus criminal, act of (gratuitous) assault. Holding back a derisive smile to a quasi-fiendish smirk, I indeed just couldn’t help laughing inside at the sheer stupidity of the guy as I could (in “an-other way”) either have the stadium security detain him to be formally charged by Police with assault or, were it but for my literally steam-venting tempering, “teach him a lesson” about ‘the physical consequences of striking me.’ But as I was only passing through Baltimore that evening, and wanting to get on with my trip’s travels that same night to reach a desired specific destination by later early that the morning, and not wanting to literally ruin the rest of my evening at the Police Department with the process of pressing these charges, let alone the physical and testimonial presentation responsibility for any future judicial action,@@@ I reluctantly let this go, however trusting with precedence that, he would, “One Way”, somehow get his just retribution (cf. Deut 32:35), particularly if he really, as manifested, believed that he could just so go around ‘physically taking his various (jealous) frustration out on people’ or have a right to ‘“teach” people lessons’. Still I was quite seething over this for a while after that and considered a couple of times to go and begin the steps of getting him into custody and filing a formal criminal complaint. In the second of those seriously pondered times, I was about to do so when I realized that, in my contained blinding rage until I turned and walked away, I really had not gotten a good look at the guy, however a man from a couple in front of me who took my picture with the foul ball[D236b - don't let my photo-posing smile fool you, I was still seething, and it was immediately after that photo that the second pondering came] indicated that he had no problem either identifying the guy and being a supporting witness for me. (In fact most other people sitting around me could have also done so.) However not wanting to (also) ruin their evening, I decided not to follow through.

@ That “applicably” is after an early childhood incident, when, when I was somewhere within 7-9, a jealous neighborhood kid struck me across the arm with a plastic tent picket he was holding. I was so shocked at that reaction, even more than feeling hurt by the actual pain, that I just went crying back inside the house to my mom. He and his friends had previously become jealous of me for having so many toy cars (in total I had ca. 100+%), and earlier they had, while I had left some of them outside in the front yard, right next to the sidewalk[cf. in D167a], to go and eat, had tried to smash them with a large rock. (He, indeed quite surprisingly, only managed to damage one of them, with them being made of metal, only breaking the hinges of that futuristic car’s front lifting, roof panel door off its hinges. He had not even been able to break that door’s large plastic window pane!?? [As it was a top-fitting door, it would actually perfectly stay in place and only fall out when the car flipped over. It also could not swing, and then stay open on its own, as before.] I was moreoverly even more incredulous and surprised that he/they had not just stolen them and remember seeing/perceiving, apparently by unrecognized deliberate Indicative Impression (ala. 1 Sam 3:7), “the hand of God” in all of this.) In fact it was because I practically mocked the kid when he later passed by for stupidly just not having stolen them, or even been successful in damaging them as he easily could have, though not letting him know of these reasons, that, seeing that he had not at all hurt me by his actions, and moreoverly, I was manifestly laughing at him, he proceeded to, vexatiously and embarrassedly, so “whack” me in order to make sure here that he “pained” me. My initial reaction, seeing the actual incomprehensible fury in his eyes, was: “This guy is completely crazy” (= Matt 5:39's "evil person")).

            And it was from that incident that I first came to be aware that people can, for no reason at all, physically act violently and be hurtful to others. This was a “realization” which literally prepared me for later incidents in my life, which, though they each also took me by surprise, given their similar non-justifications, made me, with “just cause”, “hold my ground” and, as deemed justified, and/or “worthwhile”, defend myself, and that to the applicable degree.

% These toy cars had all been, just a few days before, given to me by an Italian young man living further up on my street who then, after having passed me by, after a brief stop to talk to me, as I was playing with the couple of toy car I owned, went home and came back with a paint tub containing his 100+ toy car collection, and placed it down next to me. Evidently he had “outgrown” them. Though I was greatly excited at the presented gift, as I had been instructed not to take gifts from any stranger, I brought him, along with them carried by him, to the front door of our house to show my mom what he was giving me. As she went on to say it was okay, I thankfully accepted the gift from him. However, in accepting the gift, I, in my ca. eight-year old mind, actually refusing to comprehend, felt sad and sorry for him that ‘he had “victimedly” become so “grown up” that he felt more joy and satisfaction out of giving all his cars away than keeping, and playing with them. (In fact when he had first stopped as he was walking by, he had struck up a friendly conversation about ‘me playing with my car’ and ‘if I liked cars’. However it was that latter question which actually led me to treat him sort of “rudely” as, though I knew who he was, often riding by his house on my bicycle, I just couldn’t help but think: ‘I am only a kid and I know that’s getting really creepy/shady,’ all the while now mythly no longer looking up at him. So when he defensively started to say who he was and that he actually wanted to give me some cars, -‘No kidding’ I thought, given that he did not have the cars with him, ‘that’s why its so creepy/shady!’, I actually deliberately mutely chinned him to: ‘(Well then), first go get them and bring them back!’ (I guess he first wanted to make sure that I would want them before lugging that heavy tub along the ca. 400 feet between our houses. [Albeit, as if a kid (and one here playing with toy cars) would refuse a tub of toy cars!!?]) So I also partly felt kind of guilty, though out of societal necessity, having treated him so “rudely” yet accepting this gift from him. I guess, in all of this, I didn’t want to ruin his innocence!?! Go figure.). However the same thing would later occur with me when, at the age of 15, as we were in the process of moving to Florida, I joyfully gave away most of these same cars, along with other toys that I had later bought/obtained (e.g, my small G.I. Joe collection) to some youngster friends/acquaintances from Church. (~Matt 10:8)

@@ Indeed, I by now was increasingly becoming so not a fan of Sports as before, indeed going to games, as during this road trip, mainly for ‘ballpark-visiting touristic reasons’ than for the game, even for local games in Montreal, that I found it quite upsetingly ironic here that I almost “left my skin” at a/that game. I went on to make such an “ensuing” noticeable fuss about this gross lack of proper protection for the fans that the on-deck player then, Eddie Murray, (an MLB Player’s Representative) interactively, engagingly/responsively took pointed notice of it.

@@@ I have indeed had gotten others to face “the Law”/Justice for (tangibly) relatively lesser effectuated acts than that. Namely:

-Feb. 7, 2000, just before leaving Andrews, a customer, a friend of the auto parts store owner, tauntingly shoved his just opened, fuming beer bottle in my face as I was disapprovingly looking at it/him, and then, as he was leaving, came back in the store and threw a snowball just a few inches over my head. Though he was presumably aiming for the guy behind the counter, standing right in front of me, with this being done inside a store, and not knowing for sure, given his prior offending act, I, having, due to that prior violating act, gotten the license plate number off his pick up truck, reported it/him to the local police department who said he would go over to his house and “chew him out”. (Not sure if he actually did “chew him out”, but he probably did pay him a due visit.).

-May 16, 2000, just having returned to my hometown from Andrews, while shopping around in local hardware stores for the best prices on various materials, and several and parts, that I was needing for the building of a functional prototype for my invention[D68], which up to then had cost me over $600, after over 8 hours of doing these prices-noting visits in now 3 other stores, and now doing the same in this 4^th (smaller scale) hardware store, the workers there intially objected to me doing so, coming over a couple of times to ask me what I was doing and who for, but they really had no legal reason to prevent me from doing so at all. After one of them asked me to view this comparative shopping listing, which I optionally chose to go ahead and allow him to, he went and showed it to the others, and then returned it to me. Then as I went on to continue to do so, one of them, then coming out of a back room and walking towards me as I was standing in an aisle, suddenly shoved me out of his way as he passed by, and then after taking a few further steps, suddenly stopped, turned back, grabbed my clip pad, and tore out my list and then walked away towards the front register. I went after him, telling him to give it back to me and asking what right he had to do this, to which he “responded” by proceeding to rip it up, as if ‘that was his authority”, and as I made a move to get even those ripped up papers from him, as it would be less costly, time wise for me, to piece back those pieces together than do spend another 8+ hours redoing the list, he suddenly, moroverly, had the hutzpah to grab me by the collar! Let’s just say that he was lucky that I (as above, also) found him to be comically “backwards” and so stupid, and moreoverly, as that temperly really was not enough, took note that he was wearing glasses. And not being as “backwards” and “stupid” as him, I, after getting myself out of his collar grip, picked up the phone on the counter and called the police. As the Police was taking a while to come (as evidently they normatively do for such non-emergencies), I, then waiting for them in my car outside, and with the store about to close at 6 p.m., proceeded to write down the license plate numbers of all of the cars in the store’s parking lot, along with noting the make, model and color of the cars (all employee cars as there were no customers there). And as these employees eventually left after the store closed, I crossed out each entry of a leaving car that was not driven by that man. After I thus was able to ascertain which car was his, and thus his identifying license plate number, I went home and called police again (my 3^rd call), who now, following uply, asked me where I now was. They sent two officers over who wrote a report and with the license plate identification they then went to the man’s house and questioned him. Eventually formal criminal charges for “(Simple) Assault” were filed against him, and ca. a year later, on April 3, 2001, I, having been informed of his due date in court went to the proceeding. I didn’t need to testify as he straightly pleaded guilty and was sentenced by the judge to pay $250 in fine to a charity and was also put on probation for the next 45 days.

-May 25, 2000 - Succinctly said here, during an argument with the person then renting the upstairs portion of our rental house, but by then, not having paid for the last 2 months, he threatened to kill me. I called police. They came, checked with me if I felt threatened and then  questioned him, verifying how serious he was and readily feasible his threat was/could be (i.e., e.g., did he had a firearm). At the very least, if anything did happen to me in the house, he would be Prime Suspect #1. [Those renters eventually left without paying the final three months of their lease. My parents, despite my offered services to judicially collect on the court decision against them condemning them to pay, and with its granted 10-year collection period, chose to not do so.] [A similar court decision had earlier been made against a Church member who had rented the house for a year, (actually leaving his own home in full rental and renting our deliberately lower-priced house, thus making ca. a $800 profit per month; =$1500/month from the last 3 months when he then chose to no longer pay us rent). However, under the formally heightening reprimand of his Church’s Pastor and First Elder, who were both also friends of ours, he finally repented and decided to pay this “theftily” owe money.]

### Unbeknownst to me at that time, my mother had come by the school earlier that morning, after I had told her what had happen the day before, including how the security guard had just stood by and done nothing to even immediately haul the guy to the principal’s office for his, indeed criminal, act, and she had, effectively, (i.e., I slightly paraphrase), asked the people at the front desk then: ‘‘was it either “open-season” on her son!?!’ or ‘was I that thug’s punching bag!?!’’.

**** My favorite of my mitigation measures was, when taking tests on the Evolution theory, defaultly beginning all of my answers with: “According to the theory of Evolution...”, as I was, notwithstandingly/nonethelessly, in the process of also substantively acing this test.

            Not to actually make fun here at all, as this was manifestly, actually not the malicious intent of most, if not sincerely, none, in the class, but just a virtually “incontrovertible” observational circumstance that even our teacher seemed to, playing along, “concede”, but as the 1993 song by CCM artist Geoff Moore: “Evolution... redefined” said: ‘our teacher actually seemed to solve this supposed elusive enigma of the “Missing Link”’!! (Just to avoid false accusations of being duplicitous here, in the light of what I related in Note #1(C), it factually were my pleadingly reproaching glares (mixed with a reprimand of their effective hypocrisy here as they actually devoted believed in this “Missing Link” fantasy) to my non-Creationist classmates, (two class-clown, ring leaders [namely “Jimmy” and “Tom” in particular (these “appellations” were actually derived from their full/real Greek names)]) who were itching to heighten this joke from its present restrained, spurting snickering level, which, indeed literally, actually quashed this joking before it broke out into open, and thus surely, self-fulfillingly, into disculpating, popularly accepted, derisive laughter, and it is upon observing this that the teacher acted as if such comments really did not bother him, in a: “I’ve heard it before” way.)

***** Relatedly, as this spurious, and really substantively arbitrary, ‘increased-age-entitles-you-to-certain-“banned fruits of knowledge”’ (contra e.g., Luke 18:16, 17#), later when this popular notion became even more pronounced in Senior High School as the “revered” age of 18 neared then amongst these latest school peers[e.g, D207a], I was actually quite mythed, and even offended, that I was thrown a surprise 18^th Birthday party[D207b]. It had actually greatly annoyed me because I had not so had a, if any, birthday celebrated in years, (indeed probably going back to my 12th [D207c]). Honestly, if I could have, disculpatingly, paid the secretly invited guests to go back home, I would have. However the party went on and I forced myself to look happy. But I sincerely was not, the various base/vile things that I had heard/encountered, and had to repeatedly fend off, surrounding “one’s 18th birthday, and beyond” had literally grossed me out. Though not substantively the case at all, I felt like it was a pagan ritual feast that was now being observed/celebrated with this party. As I later openly blurted out at one point in the party, no longer able to contain myself, and also to provide an explanation for my noticeable, paramount annoyed/glum mood throughout: “It’s not like anything was going to change” (i.e., ‘what’s the point of so celebrating this birthday’). In fact, the only moment of joy and worthwhileness for me in this whole affair was opening a ‘Bible on Cassette’ gift[D193].

#Case in point, I remember when I was young, a grown up had once told me that ‘I could not watch an upcoming, then (i.e., early ‘80's) actually, TV(-censored) movie because “it was not for children”’, not missing a beat, I replied: “Well it should not be for “Children of God” either!??!”

[9] To show how fascinated I indeed was with, particularly the statistical side of sports, in 1987 I invented my own Basketball Association (the RBA) -an indoor version of basketball (using an air-inflated (i.e., not helium) balloon), which, at its height in its 3th and 4th (and last) season had, after a league expansion, 11 teams, each playing 40-game schedules. That league include virtually everything that an actual league could have (from player contracts, individual stats, championship and award trophy, All-Star games and even a minor league in the 4^th season). It gradually became so detailed stats-wise with each new season that, where a game itself, with the winner being the first team to reach 30 points, took ca. 8 minutes to play[e.g, D137], tabulating and updating all of the statistics[e.g., D109-D111], by hand, with paper and pencil in those pre-Windows PC & Software days of the late 1980's,* that it took ca. 30 finger-numbing minutes to complete. In total exactly 1000 games (an extra 3-game “Dream Team” exhibition was played out in 1992 to reach that round figure), including post season games over 4 seasons, so in total that all took about one full month of my life, (which in actuality (i.e., up to 5 games per day), was spread out over ca. 300 calender days in total).

            Later on I was able to see the benefit of such a discipline, (or was it rather my innate interest this mathematical discipline) with my various numbers crunching preparations needed for my NJK Project taking much more time and effort, however much less taxing as they were mostly done on a computer spreadsheet.

*During my computer lab class in the 8^th grade (in 1989), where I brought in some of my RBA stats sheet to input them into the computer spreadsheet program we were learning[D141], even I, in fact even before this, from other interactions with early PC’s and their required source code/commands-knowledge (pointedly through a church friend who was studying computers in college), knew that this black screen, command-line user interface could be improved upon to make it more practical and accessible for the average person, indeed frustratingly asking this friend: ‘why is this so (“geekiely”) complicated,’ -a fully exploited perception/idea that would come to begin to make Bill Gates a multi-billionaire, starting ca. a year later.

[10] It also did not help that I had started off this Sports interest odyssey by being (somewhat) lucky as I had twice won in a hockey contest where I had to fill in a ballot and guess which player (on the Canadiens club) would score first for the team. The first time my name appeared, my selected player did not score first, however I got a great consolation prized in a personalized team Jersey[D172-D173]; however the next time (a couple of weeks later) my ballot was again picked, that player scored first and I won the $500 store certificate prize. (With which I bought my first computer (a Commodore 64C - I had it for 10 years until I sold it to a youngster while preparing to leave for University in 1997). It sure made it easy to be selected as I had literally “stuffed the ballot box” at my local (Canadian Tire) Store by, actually taking home about 3 blocks of entry forms and filling them in and then returning to the store a couple of days later to put them in the ballot box. (No rule said that this was illegal/unlawful and there were also over 15 stores with such ballot boxes throughout the city). Since a full prize winner could not be selected again to win the prize, my remaining ballots were probably repeatedly discarded. It felt nice to hear my name on the radio as I, the winner was excitedly announced immediately after that goal was scored. (I had an audio tape recording of it.) As the contest name was: I indeed felt that: ‘He (the Player) Shot; and I Scored’. Not so incidently, I, through my parent’s cooperation (paying something for them at the store with part of the certificates), also paid my tithe on that prize.

[11] Bikeriding was actually my father’s favorite “(hobbying) sporting activity” and it is most strikingly quite amazing that over a period of ca. 1460 days in which we, (my sister and I), probably asked him ca. 300 times to take us on a bike ride, it was the ca. 30 times when he agreed and took us on quite thrillingly* long rides that really memorably marked us right through today, to the point where it is quite shocking looking back that it occurred, indeed, relatively, “only” ca. 30 times. I know from such an experience that it really does not take much to have a “lasting impression” on a kid....and that probably does equally “work” either way.

* I mean, when you tracely still have the large, skin-peeling scar on a knee from having skidded and fallen on a patch of thin gravel in a curve and had pleadingly refused to end the bike ride and go back home, you must have been having ““ecstatic” fun”.

[12] And in the area of weightlifting, although I, e.g., could bench press much more than my 135 lbs of body weight, and, most notably, could easily do a full set (i.e., 3 sets of 8 reps) of (Preacher/Standing) Curls at 135 lbs, I was, due to my non-bulging frame, -despite such demonstrated weightlifting strength, known as “pencil-arms.” (Case in point, the Varsity baseball coach who, renownedly, visibly had huge muscular arms, once, while I was working out, tried to match my demonstrated Curling strength, but could not even do more than a first, drawn-out curl, which had nearly caused his arm muscles to explode!).
            Here also, in such weightlifting matters, I focused on the practical, and since my muscular strength would be most needed for baseball, particularly when at-bat, I mainly focused on building up strength in my arm muscles. I.e., could not see the correlation of bench pressing strength with being able to handle, and swing a bat with the needed strength and bat speed to actually, solidly hit a ball, let alone throw a fastball!

            And doubly, enjoinedly related here, what had ‘got me started/believing/dreaming’ into pursuing a baseball career, which I was by then convinced could/would be quite successful, and now as also a power hitter, indeed despite my non-bulging frame, and which would thus offer me an optionable workaround against my ‘first thorn”, was the fact that while I was 14-15 years old, and this being in my pre-weightlifting days, -which I only began to do at age 16, when in the 11th grade, (therefore I then had a physical frame somewhere in between the one in the picture taken ca. a couple of years before the age of 14[D207c] and the one of about a year after [D166 & D280-1]), was that while playing in ca. 10-15 formally organized pick-up games which then involved much faster pitching (vs. the pitching speeds I faced in my normative, almost everyday, batting/pitching practising with my friend), in about 40 at-bats during those games, I had been one of the few, ( as I recall only 3), of the total participants who had managed to hit an over-the-fence homerun, in fact myself doing that 3 times[see D296], and almost, if not, four times, with one hit (assumedly) bouncing a few feet in front of the fence and then over it for a “ground rule double”. (Albeit indeed as we only assumed then, and I conceded, with that fence being a mesh fence and that game being at night, under the lights, and no one, including the centerfielder who was playing far in (for ‘skinny’ me) and off towards right field then (for the batting side reason stated below), had had a good look at the ball to see if it had actually bounced just before or just beyond the fence.

            Well what had “got me believing” here was not merely the fact that I was one of the few, and easily the smallest/skinniest, players who had hit multiple homeruns during those games, -with 3-4 homeruns in ca. 40 at-bats working out to ca. 40-60 homeruns on a normative 600 at-bat (pro Baseball) season, (and I did encouragingly also keep detailed stats of those formal baseball games then, however I have now lost/misplaced those records); but actually the fact that (1) I had actually not “meant/intended” at all to hit those 3-4 homeruns, and (2) one, and my longest, homerun (249ft), along with the possible one, i.e., the disputed ground rule double, had come when I was batting lefthanded, which was my non-natural batting side, and which I was learning to hit from. I, along my others amazed teammates, all laudingly credited those homeruns to the clear fact that I had my swing mechanics down right. Indeed, in all of those hits, as insistently stressed by batting coaches, I had literally ‘seen the ball hit the bat’ and my immediately next surprised/shocked look from there was looking up, way up, and seeing the ball soaring away, and already two-thirds of the way out of the ballpark. So I was concretely more than convinced that if I could stick to those producing “right swing” mechanics, I could ‘make a successful career out of this’, and that way beyond my ready capability to variously get on base and steal bases.*

            And in actuality, while it is normative/typical to see a leading homerun hitter have a big frame and bulging arms, and usually willingly/demonstrably slug the ball over the fences, a contemporary modern day player that has come to prominently/consistently validate this “good mechanics power slugging success viability” observation of mine is the N.Y. Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez (-who incidently, but of course, absolutely inconsequential to me and my then all but fully abandoned pro sports career aspirations by then, was drafted in 1993 from a Miami area High School, as I too was a High School senior in the area. -His high school drafting was the talk of me and my other baseball career aspiring baseball team friends.). That is because, as seen e.g., in this highlight reel, he rarely, if actually ever, particularly early on in his career, demonstrably, purposefully, “overpowers” the ball when swinging, nor approaches/acts/swings like the stereo-typical slugger who is quite manifestly trying to hit the ball out of the ballpark. Yet Rodriguez, (who by the (related) way, is currently the highest paid player in Baseball History, and in the midst of a second, record setting 10-year/$25,000,000+ per year, contracts), by having become the fastest player in Major League Baseball history to reach the 600 HR career total, is on pace to break, if not shatter, the MLB career homerun record, (and with, currently, the second spot being filled by another physically/demonstrably unassuming super-slugger, namely Hank Aaron.) As it was my reaction, Rodriguez patently, candidly looks surprise to see that the ball he has just hit, is going to be a homerun. [And relatedly, of all sports, yet not to defend/condone the practice, while performance-enhancing drugs do bulk someone up and make them stronger, in particularly baseball, it does not actually automatically translate into more frequent, and longer distance, homeruns.]

            All this to say that, my surprisingly extraordinary slugging success at age 14-15 which was all clearly derived from proper mechanics, really excitedly got me to plunge into viably pursuing a, thorn-circumventing, professional baseball career. I later focused also on pitching than positional playing (i.e. centerfielding) to expand my thorn-circumventing options, and even became a viable switch-pitcher, having learn to also pitch well left handed.

* And as an additional case in point for me and this “good mechanics” observation, while participating, in 1994, in a Fan Homerun Derby at the then Florida Marlins Baseball stadium[D71], I only hit the ball well, -to the out-loud, noting, oooing/awing surprise of the other participants watching as the ball just popped off my bat, thinking I had hit the ball out of the park, when I stopped “swinging for the fences” at my fifth and final derby pitch, and just focused there on literally seeing the ball hit the bat, which I actually saw. [I had a video of my at-bat in this event but accidently recorded over it]. And the fact that the pitching machine was, deferentially, set up to throw the ball quite slow (probably at ca. 65 mph), as most participants were presumed to be novice hitting amateurs, and also as it was actually not throwing strikes, but throwing the ball at the height of (my) shoulders, really, addedly/compoundedly threw me off in my first four pitches and I had to gradually, mentally and positionally, adjust myself to these key differences, and which I finally perfected by the fifth pitch. Upon seeing that adjusted-last-pitch great contact and results, despite the still slow and wrongly high pitching, the guys operating the pitching machine wanted to rearrange it for me, and grant me another set of 5 pitches, but as I was actually quite late for work then, and it would not really be fair for the others here that I get 10 pitches, and addedly not fair to those who had gone before me and had had to manage with those same bad/wrong pitching parameters, I turned down their offer. As I was leaving, they did go ahead and adjust the pitching machine, and, as I was about to later walk out the stadium’s seatings area, the next batter after me, who was actually shorter (but stockier) than me, was almost hitting every one of those better pitches out of the ball park.

[13] That deliberate objective became concretized by me out of my very first attempt to play organized sports, when, after having made the Junior Varsity High School team in my Sophomore year, the coach stood before us and said that starting with tomorrow’s first double header games, all games were going to be on Saturday (during the day). That completely caught me by surprise and I (unhesitantly) had to announce before everyone that I could not continue with them because I went to Church on Saturdays. They all understood and were very supportive of my commitment, including the coach, but what was most interesting to me was seeing the pensive and quasi-ashamed reaction of the many players on the team who were Jewish, and at the very least, knew exactly what was Biblically, fully involved here! My deliberate gaze to them as I made this announced probably did engage this self-retrospection.

[14] Conversely in the formal races cited above[D134] the two silver medals I won there would have actually been gold medals were it but for the sudden last second manifestation of that first thorn near the finish line which allowed the runner then behind me to catch up and make it a photofinish win for him at the finish line. I personally know, from normative experience, that the fact that this thorn manifested itself well into my running that race, right near the finish line, was most likely not “natural”.
            In regards to the first experienced manifestation of this first thorn in that first grade foot race, which, through experiential retrospect, was quite manifestly also “non-natural”, from that start, the whole thing was so weird to me that when I was taken to the Children’s Hospital to have my jaw examined, I chose not explain to the doctor what I had noticed had actually caused the sudden fall.*
            In regards to that second “thorn”, I most clearly, especially due to the non-sequitur oddness, as related below, recall hearing God most strikingly/ironically tell me after a (previously oblivious to**) diastema aggravatingly-accentuating, baseball accident (while in the 8th Grade), and was now observing this “damage” in the bathroom mirror after having immediately rushed home from the park in order to visually see this “felt damage”, (not taking the reassuring assessment of my friend that ‘I was fine’ - i.e., ‘my teeth were all there’), that: "I have done this” (i.e., self-understandably, “allowed this for a purpose...” -a “purpose” which I did readily grasp the immediate application given a particular inceptive development, involving a Greek “goddess” (Did I say that out loud??!) [@ now married with, at least, one child], although I still  did then, knowing the swinging-for-the-fences-but-missed-slip-and-fall-(due-to-a-drenched-field)-mouth-(ayoye)-first-upon-my-dropped-bat circumstance of this accident, opt to mildly retort at that utilized literal statement: “Oh yeah then, HOW??!” [My, much later, theological understanding of ‘God and the Future’ allowed me to see that here, God had injunctively, opportunistically, assumed full responsibility for this sudden accident, -indeed ‘for a purpose.’ (Rom 8:28) - Albeit, indeed as literally expressed, by not having previously strongly warned me that playing on that muddily-slick baseball diamond[cf. D296] was not safe.].***
           In recollection, like youthful Samuel (2 Sam 3), this was, and retrospectively, non, indeed, “purposelessly”, the first time that I (so pronouncedly/distinctly) “heard” the “Voice of God”.

* In fact, when, after having awaken from a granted nap in my classroom, I, through my deliberately persisted distraught expression on my face, made my teacher and the principal call my father to come and take me to the hospital. My father, upon arriving, then readily understanding, by my own cues, that I really was not physically hurt or still in pain, wanting to “test” my seriousness here of, at least, wanting (vs. needing), to see a doctor, before driving off to do so, (as he confirmingly told me only some years later, but I had also figured it out at that time), giddily offered me my favorite meal which he had brought along. Indeed it was, as renown amongst my relatives, my favorite meal, and that thus strikingly from babyhood, as I had then, literally pushed aside my baby foods, so that I would instead be only fed this meal that/when my mom was eating (it). And though she had to blend this food so that I could then safely eat it, I still preferred it to those baby foods. (I mean, if my core meal is going to be blended foods either way, then it might as well be something that I like!!). And so when I, with a responding: “That’s not fair” expression turned down this offer by my father, he then concedingly recognized that I was evidently quite serious about this request from some reason, and drove off to take me to the Children’s Hospital.

** See e.g. Grades: One[D169, D168]; Two[D156, D73]; Five[D171] photos. This Eighth Grade school photo[D164] was taken shortly after that accident.
            (I deliberately, uncharacteristically, did not smile, even was semi-pouting, in my 4^th Grade class photo [D211], to self-sabotage/boycott my photo [not being aware then, as stated in Note #8*#, that my glasses and my recent haircut, were doing this job all on their own. (I actually thought then that these, respectively, would, and was, doing the exact opposite -which is what had traumatically shocked me into my eyesight miracle)], in order to atone for the damage I had caused to my neighbor-classmate (standing next to me), by, confessedly, semi-accidently tripping her. See the “dramatic-licensed-account” in[D201]. (I stress “semi-accidently” because I thought, and she, as well as others around me (e.g., my godsister), most seemingly knew/realized that she had “voluntarily” taken a dive when I, out of frustration for the sudden of my “physical thorn” in this footrace causing me to abandon the race to avert another accident as in the first grade, I did cause my feet to become entangled with hers, however she “agreed to be tripped, and thus fall” only after a further step and half, though it turned out worst than she planned as she fell hard on the gym floor and chipped one of her front tooth. In fact, because I clearly saw that she had taken a dive, I initially did not feel sorry for her at all, though I later show some sympathy however actually never did apologize because it indeed had been a clear cut dive, i.e., I did not make her fall. Nor, case in point, did she ever, nor even begin to, hold it against me.) Nonetheless, because my semi-accidental action had caused damage to her smile for a little while before that photo, as dentist were able to fully and tracelessly restore her tooth (apparently with a glued “ceramic chip prosthesis” covered with veneer), I playfully, but resolutely seriously, decided here not to smile to atone for that unintentionally damage. Noticing this, and understanding pointedly why, she had actually turned towards me and fully smiled, to indicate that it was okay, as it indeed physically was, but I personally had to do this atonement for the lingering “spiritual scars”.))

*** Following that incident, I had considered getting braces to correct that accident, however I never go through to asking my parents for this directly stemming from the fact that, while in Elementary School (Grades 3-5), a girl who had to wear a complex, external dental apparatus [see in D211] was completely barraged with hurtful, “witch-hunting” mocking, headed by a couple of sisters, one 3 Grades ahead of her, who just would not stop despite the oppositions and defenses of many for the teased girl. The teasing girls found just enough of a supporting audience to continue on unabated, -teasings which only took place outside of school, on the bus rides home. I never participated in the mocking, however I always felt that I could have done more to help her than just ‘not laugh at her.’ I indirectly tried to get my sister to deal with that older, ring-leading girl, who was one Grade ahead of her, but that did not do much. So it was directly out of these events, which actually also traumatized me, that I did not dare get braces in this 8th Grade on, as I concluded that, if that was done to someone “in Israel” (i.e., ‘in an SDA School’), what would be the onslaught done outside of it (i.e., ‘in the Public Schools’ that I was now, and would be, attending). I however had enough “evidence” in these public schools that this would not be the case (at least in regards to normal/internal braces), however, I thought, the sure “cringing” expression on my face, stemming from that SDA School incident, would probably have brought this on. And so I didn’t. I found some solace in that decision that I was here also paying some sort of penance for not having more actively defended that girl!

[15] Whereas, just a few years before, after having read through, who knows how many times,  a Sporting News publication covering every Baseball World Series since 1903-1985+ and having memorized some of these Series main results, I could by memorize tell you which teams played in the World Series in any year during that period (and forward), who won and in how many games, as well as some major events during the series. I still have a large residue of that memorization archived in my brain’s hard drive!! (Don’t ask why I so “religiously” did this memorization, for in retrospect, it indeed was a quasi-idolatrous fanatical accomplishment.)

[16] I however kept a related “Mechanical Interest” as a practical/useful “hobby” which indeed helped me save over $5000 on car repairs.*

            Probably the most “memorable” of all of those do-it-yourself repairs, though not for the reason of what was repaired, occurred while I was at Andrews. As the dorm handbook said, it was against the dorm policies to do repairs on one’s vehicle in the parking areas. However I ventured to still ask the dorm’s dean if I could change my minivan’s rack and pinion, (which by now, after several weeks of showing increasing leakage signs of failure, was going through a quart of power steering fluid every week), as I just did not want to expend an extra ca. $200 to have it done in a garage. I had tried the Andrews University Institutional garage, but found out that it actually was not there to service the cars of students, which was/is logically and Spiritually entirely “counterintuitive” to me** as it would be a great help to many students while also serving as practise for the mechanic students. When I then defiantly told the teacher there that I just would do it myself, he spurted out a listing of warnings of how difficult that job was. I actually felt like this was all yet another typical manifestation of a ‘Saul and others warning David against Goliath’ episode (1 Sam 17:26-30, 31-37), as this present “controversy” was stemming out of the incomprehensible-to-me fact that the University Garage did not, and that not defaultly, service student vehicles, but however rather worked on other cars. Indeed it was all representative of the wider dysfunction and non-collaboration that I had long observed and adversely experienced in the Church, particularly since attending Andrews.

            When I then went and asked the dorm’s Dean for permission to work on the car, I surprisingly found out (if that actually was not an on the spot, injunctive decision by him), that I could do the repairs on my car, but in the dorm’s 2-car garage and this repair began to become “memorable” to me from that point on, when he then most sternly/seriously instructed me, upon finding out that I was going to change the rack and pinion, (which required removing both front tires and getting underneath the car right into the “neck” of steering column to guide the groove extension of the new assembly back into proper alignment with the steering wheel’s socket), to: ‘make sure that I first secure the jack up car on the two available jack stands.’ That did not at all come to my mind, and if he had not said so, I would have just raised the minivan on its emergency tire changing jacks and “secured” it on the removed tires plus my spare. After having worked on the car, which indeed involved being virtually buried inside the steering column area, as the Mechanic professor had inclusively “warned” me, -the re-aligning of the new part and the steering column was the most intricate part of the whole repair process, as I literally had to “see” what I was doing then to get it to align properly, I realized that all of the needed shaking and jostling in this undercarriage repair would most likely have caused the minivan to come off of whatever alternative, make shift “securing” stand I would have put it on, and just crushed me. And as I had then readily perceived in the Dean’s quite alarmed instructions to make sure I do this, at the background of all of this was the fact that that past Weekend had been the funeral of a Church Member living in the Andrews Community who had been crushed to death when the car he was working on, repairing the transmission, most unfortunately, fell on him.

* My attempt to redo the engine bloc’s blown head gaskets# on my minivan[D67] which I did but not carefully following available guiding repair instructions, ended the functional life of my van. (And nothing worst then ending such a job and having ca. 2-3 bolts left over.) Actually a first head gaskets repair attempt had partially worked, however the minivan was burning gas so fast after that, I literally saw the gas needle moving (perhaps having a performance of only 5-10 miles per gallon) that I had to redo it, but that time I could not get it to start up again. I never got around to fixing it, until, by then having been given another car by my parents, I reluctantly, having waited over 5 years from the 2002 botched repair, as I considered this scraping action as sacrilegious, given how God had led me to have this minivan (as related later), decided sell it to the scrap yard.

# For an actually justified in itself reason then, I opted not to fully heed the notification of a passer by who stopped as he was walking by me seated in my van to point that my car was leaking antifreeze. Upon inspection, I saw that it was coming from the water pump and after topping it off, I drove home with it. However the next day, while driving to Church, then engine suddenly, drastically lost considerable power and I later understood that I had blown the head gasket. I still made it to Church, driving much slowly, but not by choice, but on the way back, the problem worsen to the point where I did not want to risk continuing driving it and stopped by a park, near my old Church School.

            Deeming this an emergency, I actually called for a tow truck on my AAA service, however during the call, I decided that it was not right to supply additional work for this tow truck driver (Exod 20:10 -who knows, I may be his only duty that Saturday) and told them to never mind. I had decided to wait out the remaining ca. 7.5 hours of the Sabbath and then call them later, however they, probably seeing the Caller ID location from public phone I had used, still sent a tow truck who was clearly looking for someone as he was inching along around the streets and park where I was. They obviously saw no problem at all in coming to help me since I had confirmed that I was a AAA member, which was also valid in Canada. I however just let him drive right by me without waving him over. Interestingly, and confirmingly enough, when I called them after the Sabbath hours, the person responding, obviously, even concernedly, remembering my earlier call, oddly asked me: ‘where are you now??’.

            In retrospect, for many and variously now seen and understood reasons, it was indeed quite significantly in God’s will that the end of the functional life of my van begin to occur then (I continued driving it, though quite limitedly, because of it high gas consumption, for another 6.5 months after that (by which time its residual Michigan tag expired and it certainly was not in a mechanical position to pass the Quebec Vehicle Inspection to get a local tag, and so I put off repairing it until a couple of years later (2002), at which time I then rendered it completely non-functional)).

** Hint, Hint: the (original), SOP-endorsed, Madison College missions-facilitating idea and ideal of a moneyless, self-servicing, missionary work-aimed operation, all concepts which are heightenedly inherent the current NJK Project.

[17] Honestly speaking, although I had heard the name Ellen White a lot and saw some of her (dark red) books in my father’s library, I did not know much about her, nor what she had written. Perhaps this is a testament to my parents that, as EGW says herself, if we adhere to the principles set out in the Bibles, there would not be need for the special counsels and messages in e.g., the Testimonies. Though my father, most probably, incorporatively passed on her counsels and instructions.

[18] The genesis of this here exercised idea was, interestingly enough, inceptively born from a statement that CCM artist Gary Chapman, (then the husband of Amy Grant), had made while he was one of the 5 hosts of the 26th Dove Awards ceremony (April 1995). While he was doing a segment with his co-host CeCe Winans, he, made a quipping statement in regards to ‘observing the Sabbath, also, if I recall correctly, in further relation to a Friday night Sabbath start, and someone then being a Seventh-day Adventist’. (I had a VHS copy of that entire ceremony but it apparently got lost and/or got recorded over). As Chapman is renown for his quirky-witty, and dry/deadpan, sense of humor, (e.g., While hosting his weekly CCM “20 Countdown Magazine”, he, in a serious tone, introduced the inspirational pop group FFH as: “Freshly Flogged Hermits”; [those initial actually stand for Far From Home]), his co-host CeCe Winans, as I recall, had to give him a double take to verify what precisely/really was his point in saying this. In fact she may have known it was coming, but the way he delivered it seemed to throw her off as if he was adlibbing a more substantively serious meaning. Yet, and indeed, given his utlilized typical deadpan delivery here, it, and also I, was not possible|able to read him correctly.

            Interestingly enough, later that year, in August, I saw in the CCM concert listings in my subscribed to CCM Magazine that Amy Grant, one of my favorite Christian Artists, was having a concert in the Ft. Lauderdale Broward Performing Arts Center, on a Wednesday and Thursday, as part of her latest “cross over” (1994) House of Love CD tour. [She has since ‘crossed back’ in starting in 2002]. On that Thursday evening, I found myself driving in that area, and as I was passing by the center, I decided to stop by and just take in the scene from the outside as I did not have tickets. As I came near the front doors I saw that many people were standing/walking around in the lobby. I was surprised that the concert was over already, and seeing that it apparently had just ended, I went in to quickly see if I could get a glimpse of what the concert atmosphere had been. I walked through the packed lobby and found my way into the concert hall. I then realized, seeing all of the rearranging activities on stage, that this was just an intermission. I then [no advice intended here] decided to take a seat and watch the second half of the concert. It turned out that Gary Chapman, who I then did not know was Amy Grant’s husband, had been her opening act, (which I also did not know), and now the Amy Grant concert was about to begin. About 2-3 hours later, I had experienced one of the greatest concert performances in my life. Her rendition of Ask Me, from her Heart in Motion CD just blew me away both performance-wise, and also message-wise as she first explanatorily introduced it. I have to admit that one of the reasons why I had not sought to buy tickets for this concert, though I would probably have had time even if I did find out about it kind of late (that is, if it actually was not sold out), was because this was her House of Love CD tour, which did not surfacely, spiritually impress me. However her songs-contextualizing concert convinced me of its valid and valuable Christian purpose, Message “roots”, and Positively Influencing potential.

            However, back to the pointed issue at hand here, at the end of her concert, she had an appeal type segment where pertinently so-moved/affected people came down the aisle to the front. I had not necessarily been “so-moved/affected” however I made my way to the front with the crowd which by now had left only room in the aisles, to actually, merely get a closer/better look, while here in person, of/at Amy. (I had “conscientiously” been sitting in the back section, a couple of rows in front of the, (or her tour’s own), sound mixing/lighting control section. After, if I recall properly, a prayer, I saw some people in front of me making their way back to their seats. As the concert was then ending, with her and others in her band saying goodbyes and taking a final bow, I decided to stay where I was by the front until they left, as they indeed were in the process of doing. Well as she was walking off stage, to (her) left towards the side exit just in front of where I was standing, she “noticed” me and quite friendly smiled (perhaps seeing/perceiving, by my then visible squinting, that I was, but did not want to make it seem, just trying to get a closer/better look of/at her). (Underlyingly, and really actually, I wanted to, in this way, pertinently “better know” this favorite artist of mine to try to figure out and/or understand (ala. Pro 31:30) if her perceptively infamous “cross-over” odyssey was out of some vain beauty conceit.) As I saw that she did “notice” me out of, what I thought was, a crowd of people, and given the “chance” of me catching this concert of hers on her last day in the area, I thought that this was a God-arranged (potential) opportunity to meet with her. She oddly enough, seemed to understand all of this and was now “understandingly” quite friendly smiling at me, even motioning with her head towards the offstage side exit where I could come and meet her. I, denyingly, could not believed that she had figured this out, and not wanting to appear as a “stalking groupie”, I visibly refused her manifestly evident offer, given the perception-wise, inherent impropriety. I then initmated my original intention which was that I actually just wanted to get a “closer/better look of/at her” and so, understading this, actually slowed her walk off stage so that I could do so. As it was visibly bothering me that it was appearing that I was “hitting on”|flirting with, her, as I thought she would/could really only understand, she actually then momentarily stopped so that I could meet with her there, in public, instead of just getting this “closer/better look”. I was surprised by her willingness to do so, but despite seeing this God-given, truth-witnessing opportunity, I still thought that this was all way ‘too good to be true’, in the light of the fact that the rest of the concert crowd probably also wanted to do so. And so I intimatedly responded to this that: (in such circumstances) ‘it can’t be that easy to personally meet with you’. So I, refusing also this offered opportunity, turned to leave. It is then that I suddenly saw that I was actually the only one standing in the aisle. And, furthermore, although the concert was over, most of the people who had come up front, had just returned to their seats, instead of leaving, (perhaps hoping for an encore return; which did not happen)). I then realized that this is why she had so easily and pointedly noticed me, however given her friendly, understanding and moreover inviting reaction, I then, somewhat offendedly, retroactively felt that she, misundertandingly, given this awkward “lone-interested person reality”, most likely had thought that I just had stalking-type intentions. So turned back to her to try to clarify any possible misunderstanding here, now also thinking her initial ‘special meeting offer’ to probably be along this apparent line. And so I, (not knowing that she was married), and not believing that she was either single or “available, or moreoverly, so “easily/readily accessible”, gentlemanly, “concedingly”, [knowing she was, relatively speaking from my youthful perspective then, “much” older then me (14 years to be exact, -my 20 years of age to her 34)], by self-faulting myself for this potential/possible/apparent misunderstanding, intimatedly, but quasi-reproachedly, reactingly responded that: ‘it was not my fault, (her being so well-known/popular), if I did not know of/if she was single or not,’ and that, ‘if she was even married,’ (as she was publicly known by her maiden name since the start of her career). Well not only did she manifestly get all of this as seen by her sudden disappointed reaction that I would think this of her pervious understanding/inviting offer/reaction, but evidently also did “Gary Chapman”, who up to then, had been walking a few feet behind her, but now, here suddenly came running up to her side quasi-affectionately reaching for her. Given the fact that (a) I did not then know Gary Chapman was her husband, (something I myself only found out a while later when I rented a video recording of her “1982 Age to Age” tour from Blockbuster Video - they then had just married), I thought, (moreoverly not even recognizing him, also not having then even known that he, i.e., the CCM artist Gary Chapman, had been the one who had been her opening act), that he was just one of her band members who was here so reacting out of some sort of jealousy, given her initial and continued friendly/understanding reactions. And so, not wanting to cause apparently any relational trouble here between him and her, who, again I had thought/assumed was her prospective romantic interest, I, with somewhat vexed reaction by what I had understood “Chapman’s” thoughts were, intimated that: “I would actually only be wanting to meet them to discuss Biblical topics” to which, they both seem to get and Chapman now similarly responded by motioning towards the side exit, i.e., for me to then meet them offstage. I then also made the same disbelieving reaction as before, intimating that: “this really could not be that easy”, which they indeed both seem to also readily/accurately get. (It must have been a Holy Spirit thing), as they both then looked at the seated crowd in front of them, then back to me, now motioning to me that ‘this invitation of theirs was because I was acting like I had something special/urgent to share with them.’ I then reacted that ‘I (effectively) indeed had, but was deliberately declining to do so’, making an “empty pocket” gesture indicating that ‘I here did not have anything tangible (i.e., literature) to share/leave with them. Oddly enough, Chapman seemed to reproachedly motion that: ‘I could just tell them these things’, which, as he was now placing this “burden/onus” on me, individually, I intimatedly motioned back that: ‘they probably already knew these things, (as indeed many non-SDA Christians did)’. (I figured that he had probably had figured out that I as I was evidently not a “mainstream” Christian, I was either a Jehovah’s Witness or an SDA. [The likelihood of being thought to be a Mormon was pretty slim to me]). It is then that Chapman reacted as if ‘he was found out’, probably recalling his SDA/Sabbath statement at the Dove Awards. Again I did not make the link between him standing there and the CCM artist “Gary Chapman” also from the last Dove Awards, but did have that statement in mind in making that “generalized” reproach, which was in reality most pointed for him and he indeed seemed to fully understand this. As well as Amy Grant for that matter, as she was now, somewhat humorously, but also “disculpatingly”, motioning towards him seemingly saying: “I didn’t say this” and/or “indeed speak to him, he said it”. With Gary Chapman now acting as if I “obviously” should know who he was, I tried to use this valid reproach as an out, as I should indeed better know those artists before so trying to witness to them, and turned to leave intimating that: ‘if he had not already had the opportunity, he would probably somehow hear of this Message/Truths anyway.’ However then seeing that I was indeed confessedly also intimating that: ‘I was also refusing to meet with them because they would probably be upset if/when they found out that I had effectively “crashed” Amy’s concert’, Chapman visibly jumped on that confessed indication to, now, as quite apparent, acting as if he was not pleased by that, thus this way indeed finding fault with me for this not realized meeting.

            And so our seemingly “time-stopping” interaction/exchange effectively ended there. I am indeed pretty sure that, even though nothing was verbally said, “somehow”, I not only read their various actions and reactions accurately, but they also did in regards to what I was intimating. It probably, mercifully and/or, (though still mercifully), Truth-for-Truth, was a God-led/permitted encounter and understood exchange. I indeed did not walk in the Center with the intention of crashing Amy Grant’s concert. It is just, tongue-in-cheekly, wishful thinkingly, (indeed not the factually-detailed case) that, so-to-speak: once I was inside the Concert Hall itself, and taking in the supposed residual festive atmosphere, indeed with many people “still” standing around there, the lights suddenly dimmed, the large main doors shut, and then the music started playing... and I was hookedly, dilemmically “trapped”, ala. Phil 1:21-26, given my fundamental desire to ‘better know the potential evangelistic field of this CCM world’. Anyway, if it means anything, me witnessing Amy Grant’s amazing concert performance led me to, (as I actually lastly/partingly intimated to them as I was turning away to leave), seek out and buy all the albums of hers, beyond her (1986) The Collection CD that I had. Albeit most of these were from CD Exchange stores, when I could find them there and indeed I had previously not bought some of her CD’s that I had, for a while now, seen there, -but now did!
         And in the inherent/innate likelihood that I had, in some parts, but not likely, in whole, misunderstood anything here, this encounter, as I understood it, did serve as a key/foundational building block to my future ministry in this regards. So, at the very least, that is inclusively what God wanted me to understand/take away from all of this.

[19] I still have my daily agendas from those days forward i.e., 1996+, in which such significant events in my life are marked in, as well as virtually all of my purchase receipts, so that is how I am able to provide precise dates for many of the events mentioned throughout this account.

[20] On my way to the Festival, and then being in the state of Kentucky, while I was filling up at a gas station, the sharp and spiffy sight of a U.S. Marine on the other side of the pump (likely from the nearby Fort Knox military base), frankly impressed me... though I had to, with deliberateness, step over my personal antagonistic feelings aside towards U.S. Militarism. Actually it was pointedly the odd sight of him pumping gas while still wearing his white gloves that was most striking to me, as it struck me that he was really taking this ‘staunch military decorum’ thing quite seriously. Having my photo camera on hand, I asked if I could take a picture of him, to which he gladly agreed.[D244] After taking the photo however, misunderstanding my ‘reticence then to express support’ as ‘me being ashamed of not also being in the military,’ he, trying to facilitate things here, enthusiastically, but still formally, interrogatively asked me: “Why are you not in the Military?!” Being offended at this quasi-reproach, I restrained myself in order to spare him my contributively-tiered (i.e., Personal|SDA|(native) [truly] Canadian), spiel on what I (admittedly then in 1997), inceptively anecdotedly thought (i.e., vs. what I would later more factually and documentedly, concretely know today) of the: ‘obliviously self-serving, teflon-justifying, moronic-propagandizing, pompously arrogant, geopolitically-lawless, greedily opportunistic, “pseudoed”-imperialism’, among other base traits/conduct, of American Militarism (cf. an example of this in this post),* and let him and his enthusiasm continue as is, while simply wishing him the best.

            I nonetheless had since always found this encounter to be a potentially good sermon illustration of how ‘we as SDA’s should be proud and enthusiastic about our Faith and so defaultly find it strange that others are not also adhering to/joining it. However upon, especially recent, comparative ponderings, particularly in the light of what has since transpired in my experience with the SDA Church, during those 14+years since, (as partly recounted in this blog post), I now more holistically see that it is not ‘merely significant to be “obliviously” proud and enthusiastic about an “organization” that we may belong to/represent’, as this Marine was, but to also ascertain that what we are, effectively “peddling” to others is actually Truthfully and Transparently Godly and Praiseworthy in itself. And as seen in this post, what the SDA Church has now come to believe and practice, and what God’s Truths actually are, are completely different, and clashingly opposing, things. Indeed Isa 55:8!!

* Relatedly, and comically enough to me, in my ca. 3^rd year of college, my mom finally told me that: all throughout my junior and senior years in high school, she was continually throwing out U.S. Military recruiting advertisements, that would come in the mail, and eerily enough, personally addressed to me, before I could see them. I couldn’t help but find her worry here quite unnecessary, and chose to view the throwing out of mail address to me as “comical”, as, as I unequivocally told her then, ‘you, (even if the U.S. Military would do), could not pay me to join the U.S. Military.’ I greatly loathed living in that Country to start with, longing to return to my “home and native land” of Canada, so why would I want to put my future/health/life on the line for the U.S.!?? Furthermore, I pointed out to my mom that there had been a continual U.S. Military recruiting presence at my high school, in my guidance counsellor’s office, (and I knew of a couple of guys in one of my classes who had joined up). More than ever, by today, I rather engage and endeavor in my current striving: “For (the undichotomizing) God’s Country” (cf. Matt 6:10).

[21] Case in point, in pursuit of my later-mentioned, currently patented concept, I recently met with two multi-advanced degree engineers at a local aircraft manufacturer to discuss an R&D assistance and initial venture partnership. At one point, a specific power calculation had to be precised, but neither one of them could actually remember what the (actually simple) formula for horsepower was!! (i.e. [(Torque x RPM)/5252]). The strange thing is, they virtually generally, fundamentally deal with these formulas everyday in developing and perfecting aircraft powerplants!

[22] An example: While car stereo professionals in 1996+ were selling 6-10 disc changers for cars at, then ca. $600, I had figured out and managed in March of 1996, for the same price, how to install a JVC 100-Disc Home system[D181] in my car, along with keeping it 100% skip-free at all times, as well as being able to easily control it with its infra-red remote (quite indispensable for changing disc while driving). Also my Sony MiniDisc system, which I had bought before the CD changer to make CD quality and accessibility, “best of”, compilations from my CD collection, was also a Home, Disc-Recording Unit[D187]. In both case, professional technologies only matched what I had achieved about 1.5 years later.

            (I previously also had managed to, leak-free, install a powered sunroof in my previous (first) car, a 1988 Toyota Tercel, which I had taken out from a Honda Accord at a junk yard.)

            It was these type of practical applications that I was much more preferring and seeking to engage in with Electronics.

[23] It certainly was not that I could not deal with the scientific/mathematical aspect, it is more that I didn’t want to expend so much mental energy and effort to do so as I considered it to really be secondary to both what I wanted to do in this field of study[see e.g., in D162-D163 -a college essay on writing and my (then) career choice. Ironically enough, writing would later become the crux of my pursued life work], and also what was mostly being utilized out in the professional field, especially with the advanced advent of computers. In my view, while learning and understanding the basics is useful, especially for professionals, I still think that it is somewhat redundant in the advance stages of our day. As it will be discussed later, I later had the same issue with the approach to learning, the actually dead, and textually static, languages of Biblical/Ancient Hebrew and Greek. I rather burn some brain cells on the dynamic and applicational aspects of these fields.

            The drop that began to make my cup overflow in my Engineering field was when we were beginning to learn Computer Aided Drafting. The program being used, even for late 1995, was relatively primitive. All that I can think was, why can’t they do like the recently released Windows 95 (August 24), and have a more practical/graphical interface and/or have also developed a version that works on the graphical platform, rather than this vector terminal interface. (This is indeed what AutoCAD began to do a little later). I felt fooled and played with to be literally wasting my time having to learn a logically passing program. I then began to more strongly feel that I was really wasting my time in getting entangled in this sectarian competitive rat race, where even computer programs did not evolve in unison as the “logically” should. I began to feel that if I could wait out these people until they first literally ‘got their individual acts together’ I, without a hesitation, would.

            Underlying this increasing loathing that I was having for my career choice of Engineering was how I was feeling that I was being gradually reprogrammed to become a “worldling,” as such advanced scientific learning really then would only contribute to advancing worldly endeavors. I wanted to become and Electronic Engineer, but loathed to have to be rewired to be ingrained to think like one. That was much more than I had bargained for. And so I was now in a sort of career-choice limbo.

[24] E.g., if a 128MB RAM Card is the same size and configuration as a 3096MB one, only requiring a finer circuitry imprinting, then couldn’t the makers of these parts have invented the 3096MB card, e.g., 10 years ago??? The same thing goes, and that, much more, for a strictly storage device as a hard drive. This is even more evident today as these companies clearly do know what to do to increase the capacities and performances of their various parts, and that without affect its size and compatibility.

[25] What pointedly clinched this decision for me was when, during a break in classes at the Technical School, I resumed a discussion on the Ten Commandments and the Sabbath with a 40+ year old classmate who said he had previously studied at Bible College. In the light of this more scholarly knowledge of the Bible I had just recently brought him a couple of books of Samuele Bacchiocchi that I had recently bought when Bacchiocchi had held his Sabbath Enrichment Seminar at my Church. He cursorily looked into the books, but then retorted with an argument from Greek that effectively said: ‘not all sin is sin’, i.e., ‘not all sins were “transgressions of the Law”.’ I was quite taken aback by this argument, no then knowing anything about Biblical Greek, however I decided to look into this, and that afternoon, I took a little time off from going to work, and first went to a local Christian Bookstore and sitting at one of their reading tables with a Strong’s Concordance, I researched all of these Greek words for “sin.” In short here, my exhaustive study complete blew away his argument as it showed that the “sin” that was spoken of as the transgression of God’s Law was the default, most common and pervasively, variously applied term for sin in the NT/Bible.

            It was when I realized how easily and thoroughly that argument of his had been defeated through this deeper, and somewhat scholarly, study, which he, most comically, was completely, and actually indifferently, speechless when I presented it to him, I then saw that this was the “tool” that I needed to accomplish my increasingly, deeply impressed and greatly desired Christian evangelistic ministry. So it is then that I decided to formally go and study for the ministry in order to readily have such scholarly knowledge at hand to thus properly and effectively do this planned Christian ministry. So I then took decided steps towards that end within that week.

[26] In the sermon [at D101 Line #23 & #24], I had inserted an “Church member insider knowledge” line that I knew many would get the pointed point. That was the one about speaking on a rather dismal evangelistic spirit in this Church of over 1200 members which slightly varyingly was said from how I had written it that: ‘this church had not been raised in these last days of earth history to be confined to this building that we worship in’. The back story of that line was that a few years before, a visiting Senior Pastor from the North Miami Church had preached a sermon on ‘the fig tree with beautiful leaves but no fruit.’ With this Church building being renownly one of the most beautiful in the Miami area, yet the Church then not known for being too Spiritually alive/awake (hence my sermon also), many people in the Church then had felt, as probably due, that this visiting Pastor had preached on this parable pointedly at them. So the paramount general reaction to against the sermon was in the line of: ‘how dare he!?’. So, with me having attended, and then been a member of, that Church for close to all of my years 7 years since moving to Miami, indeed being eventually the only one in my family who had stayed in that Church, with my parent leaving after about 2 years in to start another Church, and then my sister leaving to attend another Church nearby about a year later, I felt that I had enough attendance/membership “capital” to make, upon weekly observation and knowledge, the exact same point that that visiting Senior Pastor had made. And so I deliberately, though veiledly, did make it in this sermon.

[27] The fact that I had, that Sabbath morning, been, both, (a) able to (physically) be present, and deliver (b) that sermon, was for factual reasons, a quasi-miracle and sign to me, so when I had begun that sermon by ‘thanking the Youth Pastor for the granted opportunity’ and then, ad lib-ly, also, raising my eyes to Heaven ‘thanking God for being here’ was, for that latter thank, not at all mere formalism, nor an empty statement, given what I knew I had gone through in the couple of weeks leading up to this sermon.

            This opportunity to preach on Sabbath July 12, (1997), had been granted to me back towards the end of the month of June, however I had a planned family road trip (with my mom, my sister & her husband, -then newly married for just over 4 months), to Montreal, Canada (via Toney, AL to pick up my sister and brother-in-law). For one thing, we nearly got into an accident during our overnight drive when we came across a whole bumper that was strewn across my lane on the highway, which I suddenly saw at the last moment, however was able brake enough to manoeuver safely around it. On the next day, having reached Canada, we had decided to drive through, and visit, the city of Toronto, which I had told them how nice it was, from my prior visits of it in the past 2 years, including, during my 8600-mile road trip the summer before. After having visited Toronto, we decided, also at my knowing recommendation, to make a trip to nearby Niagara Falls.

            However, on the way there, a sudden discussion came up between me vs. my mom and my sister, which, somewhat indirectly, but inevitably, encroached too close upon: my decision to go into the Ministry; the various sacrifices that I was making to make this happen; and my pointed focus on the type of ministry I wanted to do and targeted audience. I did not at all appreciate the snide, mindless and inconsiderate remarks that were being made, with much being loudly said by what was not (expectedly) being said, and just (righteously indignantly) “blew it”, but, as I know myself to do, in a still-screwed-shut-pressure-cooker type of way. I.e., I could get ‘controllably within myself’ as opposed to “uncontrollably, besides myself.” I had had enough of this hinting mocking and “prodding”, and suddenly, seeing an exit, having looked in my mirrors first[cf. D185 (jape)], I crossed over 4+ lanes to take the exit, at maintained highway speed, slowing down only further down in the exit, but, yet fully in control, coming to a calculated, most-minimal, quasi-anti-locking, semi-screechless stop just a few inches over the intersection’s white line at that red light.[see in D123] Then, turning right, mulling over what to do next, and not finding a suitable place to pullover for about half a mile, I pulled partway into the driveway of one of the houses lining that road, got out of the car, took my backpack from the back seat floor, and walked away.[see in D123] Knowing me quite well (from previous such experiences), my sister and mother did not bother to wait for me to cool down and return, because they knew that even if/when I cooled down, I would do/attempt just about anything else than return on a decision that I had made, even, and especially, if in anger. For the most part this is borne out of a (choleric) character trait where, as many of my friends have pointed out to me, ‘when I set my mind to do something, I see it through to its own actual or virtual/logical end.’ And indeed here, I had made up my mind. I was going to show them that my lesser-thought-of calling, ministry and cause were all from God, and that they were wrong in so lightly/disdainedly referring to it. My plan right then and there was to go from this unknown location, which was just outside of the city limits of Toronto, right to the Canadian University College (CAUC) in Alberta, Canada, where I was expecting/anticipating to be accepted (indeed 9 days later[D149ff]); and have my personal stuff from back home in Miami shipped to me. Being the strict organizational type that I am, I knew that I would much more prefer to personally pack my things rather than have someone else do it for me and ship them. I, also in order to “get things done right’, would have much more prefer to travel with my belongings rather than have them “blindly” ship independently. However not even these normatively paramount factors could convince me to go back on this decision. So I kept on walking a little more (ca. 0.5 miles) further away from the highway and sat by a golf course,[see in D123] pondering my next move onward, towards this decided end. What I really wanted to do in/through all of this was get this ministry decision started already so that I can also silence such doubts. (I think my Grandmother[D239], then not an SDA, (in fact then vehemently, personally, opposed to it,* just as she now, since her baptism in 2003, fervently believes in the message, having had grown tired of hearing, various and what she increasingly Biblically knew were, and openly decried to fellow members as, ‘complete nonsense’ from her Baptist Church in regards to several key teachings and (non-)practices (and in the years leading up to her baptism, as she was increasingly seriously pondering that decision, encouraged people who wanted to become Christians or switch denominations, to join the SDA Church as, she would say, ‘they were the most truth-full’)), had the most spiritually discerning, understanding and encouraging words, which had immediately impressed me as inspired, in the early start and misses of my ministry endeavors, when in December of 1997, while I was on my way back to Andrews, encouragingly said that ‘I was like Abraham, ‘not really knowing where I was going, (yet still... going)’’ (Heb 11:8-10)).

            After I while, fearing that I was, with my bulging backpack, looking like a lost/homeless person to the bypassing golfers, I decided to walk back to Toronto. “Fortunately” for me the exit I had taken led, on the other side of the highway, right to a main secondary (scenic) “provincial road” type of road (Lakeshore Drive),[see in D124] which I knew went straight back to Toronto. However what I did not know/realize then was that I had driven over 40 miles away from downtown Toronto. So as I kept walking back along this road, it increasingly seemed strange to me that even after, now ca. 5 hours (=just over 15 miles) that I had not reached Toronto yet. And now night was about to fall. I then saw a sign for the local commuter (GO) train station up a cross road (Winston Churchill blvd.)[see in D124]. I was quite restrained to pay for a ride back because, with it being a Tuesday (July 1) then, and me only having the few bucks I had in my pocket (ca. $24.00) to my name then until my paycheck from my prior week of work was direct-deposited into my bank account on Thursday (July 3), (-still, then, incorrigibly, spending all of paychecks within a week and not saving anything), I would need to make that money stretch for these next ca. 3 days, until I would then have this money, to also buy my train ticket to travel to CAUC. However I just could not walk any more, and the sun was about to set. So I decided to take the commuter train. When I indeed did, I quite relievedly felt that it was the best decision I had made, despite its relatively steep cost of $4.60[D126], as I saw that it then still took ca. half an hour to reach downtown Toronto which, unknown to me, was ca. 25 miles away from where I took the train.[see in D125]

            Now came another unforethought problem... where to spend the night and also the next one. I did not know anyone in Toronto. The last thing I wanted to happen to me was to get mugged in the streets with it now being around 10 P.M. Toronto (“the Good”) was, around that time, relatively, a very safe big city, however it still was not that safe to me. After walking around a little in the downtown area, I came across one of the side entrances of a block filling, hotel complex, and... skipping the explanatory details here..., went on to sleep 2 nights at The Royal York Hotel,[see in D125] probably the most prestigious/luxurious hotel in the Toronto area, and not called “Royal” for no “common” reason. The fact that no one at all had checked my dispenser-purchased ticket on the commuter train actually (quasi-vindictively) emboldened made me take this chance with this Hotel when I can across its side entrance, actually just hoping to hang out in the lobby all night. Well, let’s just summarily say for now, (however see below), that I (still) owe them for two nights of stay, and, voluntarily, with due interest.

            The next day, Wednesday July 2, I went to the Toronto Bay Side and walked into a hotel lobby to make a phone check of my bank account’s balance. To my surprise while I was there in the lobby, three Montreal Expos players (Pedro Martinez (who I had met before in Florida) then in the midst of his first of several league leading season in which he won the Cy Young awards as the National League’s top pitcher; the up and coming star, Vladimir Guerrero, then in his (full) rookie season, and another (new) player that I did not know/recognize) came out of an elevator and were walking by me. The Montreal Expos were in Toronto for a first of newly started InterLeague series and this series had been set up between these two Canadian teams around this Canada Day (July 1^st) national holiday. In my “prior life”, which was engulfed in Sports, I would have been quite glad (though not, (groupiely) fanatically delirious) to meet these (esp. “star”) players, in fact I used to stay around after baseball games near the player’s parking lot area, when the Expos came to play in South Florida, and try to get autographs from some players and meet them[D127a&b; cf. D198-D199]. I indeed had, pointedly, been glad to meet Pedro Martinez before, back in the  1994 season, when during warm ups, ca. 1 hour before the start of the game, I, half-jokingly chide him for having developed an infamous reputation as being the league’s “head hunter” then, which had made him pause and ponder, and which he seemed to here pointedly recall. However by then, in 1997, and although, on the day that I had left for this trip on June 29, I had perfunctorily gone to, what I had then thought would be my last time that I would see the Expos in person, at least for a while, if not ever, when they were then playing in South Florida[D128], I had become most disillusioned, with as stated before, particularly, the overreaching “business” in Sports. So here, I quarter-heartedly, if even that, just raised my chin towards them to greet em. They were slightly taken aback by this cold greeting, especially Pedro, and what made it oddly worst, was that I wearing my Expos’ (Spring Training) jersey then, solely because, given its meshed fabric makeup, it was quite-comfortable to wear on such hot summer days, especially while travelling by car[e.g, D180a&b**]. I, nonetheless, actually seriously considered to use this “potentially opportune|chance|fortunate meeting” to ask, particularly, Pedro Martinez, if he could help me out to pay for a place to stay for that (second, last) night, but thought better of this, knowing that even if he had the money (with his $3,615,000 salary then) and may actually do it, it, in all fairness, was not at all proper, nor even necessary, to ask this of him. All of which considerations he manifestly seemed to notice (i.e., that I was in some sort of need here) as he, noticing my strikingly, contrasting change of observable mood here from: a cheerful “Hey maybe...” to a dismissive “ahhh forget it”), suddenly, looking/acting affected/concerned, then glancing down at my back pack to seemingly indicate that he could understand. However I smiled at him to show that I was fine, and “acted” as if I had to stay on the phone for why I was not going over to meet them. So he, Vlad and the other player kept walking by across the lobby, on their way to their ball game.

            However, with the Expos in town here, I then saw a, more than less, “perfect” opportunity to “pass time”. And with then only one day left before my check was deposited on Thursday morning, I decided that it was okay to splurge a little and, moreoverly to pass time, especially for the evening since I could not go to the Royal York Hotel too early in the evening. So I went to this last Expos-Blue Jays series game, buying the cheapest ticket ($4.00)[D129]. It was quite telling to me that the most interesting part of that game, was actually when they closed the massive retractable roof, (the first of its kind), of the (then called) SkyDome (i.e., before a business corporation [now, Rogers] renamed it for profit, -another peeving pet peeve of mine in regards to increasingly then, overtly “corporatized” Sports), because of a threatening rain. (Incidently this is the venue where the 2000 General Conference Session was held). Then, to make the account of the two non-eventful and long days of stay in Toronto short, in which I carefully spent my money, eating subs sandwiches for my two meals per day ration, I stayed for a final night at the York Hotel.***

            For some reason, the next morning, Thursday, July 3^rd, as soon as I confirmed that my paycheck was deposited, I went to the train station to buy my ticket for College Heights, Alberta to go to CAUC, however when I got to the station, I began, for the first time, to become greatly weary of all of the would-be implication of this major decision, if followed through. However, with now having been personally satisfied with my stance here showing, at least to me, that I was indeed going to follow through with this ministry decision, no matter who/what may come against me, I then decided that I should, and thus was going to, do this right. So I changed my mind and decided to instead go to Montreal, where my family was since Monday night.**** So I bought a train ticket (mainly to seize this, really, first opportunity to relive a prior (and only), memorable train travel of a Grade 2 field trip to the Provincial Capital: Quebec City) for Montreal, which left around noon that day.

            I also further saw the guiding hand of God during all of this, as during the train ride, two ladies behind me were discussing how they were frustrated with all of the various faults they were seeing in some Christian Churches they were interested in. Seeing here a God-ordained opportunity, I, as they just kept on complaining about this, took out a “Truth That Matters” sharing booklet (1997, by Keavin Hayden [however see also in here about him]) that I had in my back pack, which deals with the distinctive truths of Seventh-day Adventism, and gave it to them. They were quite glad to receive it.

            So I later arrived in Montreal, but however, slept at a friend’s house that night, and  surprised my family the next day, Friday (July 4), when I walked in the front door of our (then in between renters, vacant) house. And after a few days of stay there, and then a visit to New York City[e.g. D130a&b], we left to return to Miami on the morning of Wednesday July 9.

            What was greatly interesting to me then was that since I decided to return to Montreal back on July 3^rd, I began to rack my brain to figure out what I was going to preach for that still scheduled and now surely binding sermon appointment on July 12, yet all the while, during my stay in Montreal and NYC, I could not come up with anything. Thinking that maybe it was because of too many socializing/touring distractions then, I thought that I would better concentrate and come up with something on the drive back to Miami. I even passed up my non-crucial driving time, given the other 3 drivers in the car, so I could work on the sermon, but still nothing “viable” came to mind, resulting in many ‘starts and misses.’ It actually was not until I arrived back home in Miami around Thursday afternoon, that this ‘Josiah’s Rediscovery of the Bible’ sermon floodingly came to mind point by point, and I completed its 8-page manuscript drafting by that Thursday Night. It was so quickly and thoroughly completed that I actually could go to work the next day, which I had not thought I would be able to do, though for half a day,***** after having first gone over to the Youth Pastor’s house, who lived near to me, that morning, to have the sermon reviewed. To me, the ease and quite effortlessness with which this sermon came to my mind, impressed me of its manifest, Source provenance and pertinent importance.

* Case in point, I recall the time in early 1996 when, while we we’re visiting my Grandfather in a New York City Hospital following his surgery for his prostate cancer, my Grandmother, (appropriately, affectionately, from 1963 (i.e., when, finally, from/in (contemporary & local) nature, was demonstrated|realized, and thus provided, a fitting depiction/comparison), dubbed and still most naturally/normatively called, “Flora”, after an all-time most destructive Carribean Hurricane that year) though most sincerely, all but (then) dispatched my mother to Hell for her having had some SDA major teachings Bible Study with my grandfather while at his bed side. Simply said, I then heard another level of the commonly so-assumed: ‘evils of SDA’s’ that I never thought were conceivable, nor relatable! Okay... it indeed may not have been the best set of topics for a ‘while-on-your-“sickbed”-cross’ sermon, an apparently my mildly intimated reproach to my mom had “green-lighted” that barrage of comments, however to a ‘I-didn’t-mean-that’, sub-orbital level. Nonethless, my recoveringly weak grandfather, (who would later join the Salvation Army Church, evidently mainly because they faithfully tended to him while he was on his death bed in Haiti), then had to pleadingly intercede for my now tearfully distraught mother.

** (Interesting side anecdote about the occasion of the [D180b] photo, it was taken when I, along with a friend[D240a&b] (who I had met and befriended from his relatively brief time at my work) went on a spontaneous mid-afternoon trip to Key West Florida. After a brief visit, we left to return back to Miami a little after sunset. However it quite oddly to us got so pitch dark then, in that non-urban area, that we did not even notice when we crossed over the renown 7-Mile (Oversea) Bridge[D241a], which had been quite an awesome sight/experience when crossing it on the way to Key West[cf. D241b]. Well as we kept drive along, my friend, then 16 years old, but who was “already”, though somewhat/indirectly, “embroiled” in a local juvenile gang in his neighborhood (affectionately called “Blanc” for obvious distinguishing reasons), mostly on a friendship level with his friends who were more deeply entrenched in this lifestyle, (and he was seeking to avoid the quasi/petty criminal element of that lifestyle, even enjoying occasionally going to Church with me, along with having attended a couple of Net ‘96 meetings, -all to the relief of his mom, -who was additionally eased by the fact that I would be providing a dress shirt for him which she was greatly desiring for), well on that drive back, he suddenly began to gaze through the open sunroof and, (and I, though I knew he was a really candid and “down-to-earth” guy at heart and in observed actions/reactions, did not think, given his mainly preferred/resorted, quasi-jaded “front”, that he could ever get so profusely unashamedly/self-admittingly, unjadingly amazed as he had now), suddenly started, indeed unashamedly “awing” and “wowing”. After I got over this initial shock of this sudden awed manifestation of his, I, as I was still driving, quickly looked up to see what he was so amazed by..., and I then just had to pull over and we both got out of the car to take, that indeed awesome sight, in. It was as if I was looking at the ceiling of a planetarium when it is presenting an explanation on the stars and constellations in the universe. They were not only so numerous and bright, (which I was actually, in someway, expecting), but this unimpeded and most vivid presence of theirs compoundedly made it seem as if the sky’s ceiling was only a couple of thousand of feet above. In, then ca. 7 years of living in the city of Miami, I had never seen such a sight. And my friend either.

            Well, I, being then increasingly more evangelistically minded, did not want to waste such a perfect object-lesson moment, and so I utilized his still unfaded/unfazed, enraptured admiration, (indeed by now he was seated on the trunk of the car to more easily lean back, resting on the back windshield, to look up into the sky), I, with deliberateness, re-directed his “imagination” to the assertive and non-circuitous fact, (as he was at least “partial” to Godly things), that ‘this is the work of a God,’ -which indeed got him thinking and asking some question on that issue when we drove on.

            Indeed as the 2005 song “Stars” by the CCM band Switchfoot, [who has an SDA band member] says: “When I look at the stars - I see someone else ... [&] I feel like myself!” [and vice versa] (See the song’s Dove Award winning Music Video here).)

***To be detailed here, I slept those 2 nights, with my back pack as my pillow, underneath a banquet table, behind|within its floor-reaching table covers, of a second or third floor reception hall which had yet to cleaned up after what probably had been, as I just recently, (in writing this) realized for the first time, a Canada Day celebration. (At the time, I thought it had been from a Sunday (wedding?) celebration, and so found it most odd that it was still not cleaned up two days later, which in turn “assured” me that this hall was probably a good place to temporarily stay/quasi-squat as it was “manifestly” overlooked and quasi-abandoned). 
            To me, retrospectively, even Spiritually, looking back at it now, this experience somewhat all felt quite like a contracted, concatenated conflation of Jacob’s various journeying nights (i.e., at Bethel & Peniel - Gen 28:10ff & 32:24ff) because I then moreoverly made myself quite aware that I really would not give up on this most felt special mission and self-sure calling, no matter what, until I saw it through its end. In my mind, if I survived this ordeal, nothing else could faze me on this journey and it was indeed, in its own right, probably due to its “firstness”, an anchoring point for this great adventure.

****My mom later told me that, after(?!?) their visit to Niagara Falls, they had returned to the place where I had left them to, hopefully, still find me there, and when they did not see me there, went to a nearby Police Station to ask for assistance. However the officer told them that, in such a “volitional” situation, they had to wait at least 24 hours before the Police could begin to do anything towards locating for me.

*****In that half-day of going to work, I was actually hoping to, in person, clinch the priorly expressed, serious interest of a couple of co-workers of mine, who had said they would come with me to Church that Sabbath, to hear me preach. However, to my surprised, they, after some more thought, suddenly decided not to go. And in retrospect, following the sermon’s delivery, I was thankful to God that they had not, for: you don’t want to have guests over when you have to do take care of an overdue pile of laundry!

[28] Easily the greatest of the only job[D135] I ever had [05/93-08/97] -(due to God’s prescient providence who knew that “time” would be the most needed and valuable resource for this “planned” ministry and its “Narrow Path” (Matt 7:12-14) Course.). -My bosses (the business owners) at that job, the operations manager son, (who was 6 years older than me), who were Jewish, though more (non-religiously) culturally, (even atheistic/secular [cf. here (audio)] with certain ones*), than religious, were very encouraging to me to pursue my University-degree goals and endeavors, and were even reluctant to increase my work hours, which they actually wanted to do out of performant-productivity reasons,** when I said that I could take on more work time, not failing however to remind me to keep at it at school, the son, repeatedly jokingly adding that he did not want to be responsible for any bad grades of mine.

* So much so that, e.g., (A) when, at the end of my first week of work, on the Friday, the mom owner offered me to work late that day in the retail part of the business which would remain open until 9 P.M. I found the offer quite odd coming from her, a Jew, even if alone for the fact that they were allowing their business to remain open on the Sabbath (I didn’t think/know any Jewish person ever did that), and so I hintingly, and tonally, semi-reproachingly, responded: “I do not work on Friday nights); to which, she, taking this obvious bait, asked “why”, which I answered: “because it is Sabbath!” She, of course immediately got it, and it was indeed, something that she should have known and rightly understood, and be properly applying. (Cf. here).

            (B) On the day after a Network TV broadcast of the Movie the Ten Commandments (1962), I was discussing it with some other co-workers, however not thinking that the boss son would be interested, I did not discuss it with him, to which he baffledly, most honestly, retorted: ‘They are my people!’ That response completely took me by surprise as I really didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t put the two together here. I then wanted to ask him: ‘if he then also believed in: the 10 Plagues, the parting of the Red Sea; and that God gave Moses the Tablets of the 10 Commandments, etc,’ but did not, but he manifestly understood my half-laughing, ‘just forget it’ intimation to this end.

** In fact, (not meaning to brag, for as Baseball oldtimer Dizzy Dean used to say: “it ain’t braggin’ if it’s true”), the parting words of the son to me, “embarrassingly”, due to its deliberateness, in the hearing of others, were that: ‘he always said that if he had 10 more workers like me, he would be set.’ (Thanks again everyone for everything.[e.g., D144]).

[29] Not long after I sold the car, while I was at Andrews, my mother called me to tell me of a dream she had had in which she saw that a huge funeral wreath had been strapped to my car. Knowing of the significance of her dreams (cf. below in Note #52), we both readily saw and believed, from on that “revelation”, that I had made the right decision in selling the car, also seeing that such performant “Sport Edition” car [(the, conceptually, first of) “The 4-Door Sports Car ["4DSC"]”] was indeed, driving temptation-wise, probably not the best things to have for college.* Well it was not too long later that we understood full meaning of the dream, the Church member’s friend of the SDA who had bought the car told my mom how the accelerator cable had snapped while that friend of hers was driving through a Church’s parking lot and the unstoppable and ever increasing in speed car slammed into the side of the Church building and was totalled! (Everyone aboard was okay.)

* Although, by this time of ca. 1.5 years after I had bought this car, I had, in fact since its second month after its purchase, had accidentally, slightly damaged its transmission (which allowed for its smooth powerful accelerations, especially from dead stops), when during a trip to Oakwood College Alumni weekend with 4 other friends from Church, along with my mother (who had come along mainly in order to visit my sister), I had misused the transmission’s Overdrive feature, leaving it always on, apparently thus forcing the transmission to work too hard, vs. the engine, with such a load in the car (as everyone also had a couple of travel bags). And so a little after we arrived in Huntsville Alabama, the car began to violently shake whenever I would decelerate to stop. Thankfully that problem never got worst, in fact it soon stopped before that day ended, however I could quite noticeably sense that the car was not as performantly responsive in accelerations as before, i.e., as I “experienced” in the now two-months of driving since its purchase. In retrospect, that was probably a Providential “Bless-ing”: in the sense of that word which having its root/etymology in the Middle English “blessen” which is from the Old English “bletsian, bledsian”, and therefore has the basic/inherent meaning of: “to consecrate [i.e., ‘set apart for a holy use’] (with blood)”, and as such may in turn all be related to the French (homonym?): “blesser” = “to wound” (-which sequiturly throws a radical new light on the commonly and tritely stated, mantra plea: “God Bless America”!!), as I just could not get enough of the “rush” from the seat pinning, g-force sensing, smooth 0-45/60+ acceleration, nor from the fact that I could take on any turn without slowing down, in fact very little, especially when compared to my prior car (‘88 Toyota Tercel) and, further case in point, on 5 distinct, though brief, instances, I had taken it over 100 mph (4x just for the “fun” of it, [-all these on stretches of vacant highways, with 3 being late at night]; the other instance is related below). However, even after that “bless-ing” which mainly affected accelerations, once the car had reached “cruising speeds”, it was just as smooth and performant as priorly.#

# Major case in point: On the very first travel day of my Summer 1996, 8600- road trip, on June 23, I was, in my view, just cruising along on the highway [Interstate Highway 75N], slightly enraptured by the playing Christian Music, having just left Florida and now in Georgia when I noticed a police car careening at high speed across the highway median heading at a deliberate angle right towards me. At first I thought he had lost control of his car, however as he kept readjusting his bee-line angle towards me, I began to suspect that he was, at least, “targeting” me. However, I just could not figure out what his problem was and indeed just glared towards him as kept getting pointedly closer, even, finally pulling up right into, before coming to a stop, the shoulder right next to the left lane I was in, just as I crossed by him. When I then saw that he was looking angrily at me, it is then that I realized that he actually had a problem with me. Readily deducing then that it could only be a speeding issue, though I could not see how his risky, high speed, median careening crossing, warranted this degree of (highly hazardous) “force” for speeding, I then looked at my (digital) speeding dial (as its derived Heads-Up Display (HUD), digitally displayed on the interior lower lefthand corner of my windshield[cf. D228a -green "30 [mph]" reading, [its location is externally visible in D66]], was not visible due to the ca. noon time sun glare then), and was absolutely shocked at the reading: 97 mph!!!... It felt like, and as I thought, that at most, I was going at 70 mph and that this (re)action of the police for ‘going just 5 mph over the speed limit’ was grossly exaggerated, not to mention unnecessarily dangerous, and thus an abuse of police power.

            As I now conceded that I was “caught lead footed”, indeed with my, by now, wildly beeping and flashing radar detector indicating that I was being clocked, I however still found valid fault with the cop’s, a County Sheriff, action, as, at the very least,... he never had put on his traffic stop signaling lights. That, I found to be a legal violation, and based on that I, [not essentially recommended] aimed to demonstrate that I still didn’t have to pull over until he made this normative and lawful required signaling. (Indeed one legally does not have to pull over for every cop car I crossed path with.) And so I, actually... “speeded up”, and that quite “easily/effortlessly”, to now 105, all so that I could pass a truck that was just slightly ahead of me to my right and clear it sufficiently, and still have time/space to take the upcoming exit [#45]. I was now going so fast, indeed practically “flying low”, that, misjudging the braking distance needed for the traffic stop at the end of that exit’s ramp, I only came to a screeching stop in the middle of the intersection. In order to not to actually add to what I expected could lawfully only be a speeding ticket, I then signaled in order to make a right turn, just as the police officer, who had actually caused all traffic behind me to stop so that he could awkwardly, transversely embark on the highway, took the exit. As he still did not have his police lights on I went ahead and kept on driving, making the right turn, onto that cross road however now driving at this road’s speed limit. I noticed however in my rearview mirror, as the officer then reached and also turned onto that crossroad, that he was driving quite slowly, as if he wanted to give up coming after me. That may have been the case, or he may have been distracted with making back up calls in order to have me cut off ahead, probably noticing that he may not be able to catch up to me with me being ca. 800 feet ahead of him, so I significantly slowed down, practically to a relative crawl, and he then immediately, pouncedly accelerated after me. It is only then, as he approached me, that he turned on his police lights. With that recognizable and legally clear, indication, I pulled over as he came right up behind me, and now since he also pulled over (as he potentially could have just been intending to pass by me), I then stopped. His first question after he came over to me was: “Do you know where are you?” To which I replied: “Uhhh, somewhere in Georgia”!? To which he, jumping to a legally non-sequitur (thus non valid) questioning conclusion, claimed/asked: “You’re trying to run away from me?!!” Knowing the ‘no lights’ issue, and also knowing that he could have, and probably had recorded the speed I was at when I first crossed him, I, as is legally permissible, (“the 5^th”), opted not to answer this question. He then asked me to pull into a clear area further ahead[see in D230], then asked me to come meet him in front of his car, and then asked me to put my hands on the hood of the car. Having never been arrested in my life, I had no idea that he was in the process of arresting me. If I did, I would have immediately objected, and perhaps it was for the better that I didn’t know, because when I realized this, after he checked my pocket and I heard him pull out his handcuffs, I immediately, questioningly/shruggingly turned around to point out that ‘I had had no (legally-binding/indicative) idea that he wanted me to pull over’! Indeed it was not until he turned on his police lights when he was about 100 feet behind me in that crossroad, to which I immediately complied. Well he just forcefully turned me back against the hood, and seeing that I was alone with him in this currently “desert” area[cf. in D235 (1993)], I didn’t do, nor say anything more, indeed knowingly quasi-winking into his dash camera that was supposedly filming this (false) arrest, which he noticed and immediately, even quite literally, backed off, and that by shruggingly taking a back step, as if to try to show that he was not using excessive force, and then resumed to hand cuff me, not even stating on what legal grounds nor informing me of my rights. The whole thing was thus practically a kidnapping.

            On the trip to the police station, with now a called flatbed tow truck transporting my car in front of us, with it being positioned backwards on the flatbed, he began to ask me a series of questions which I “smartly”, barely, answered back, as (a) I didn’t have to talk to/answer him, and (b) what he wanted to know was substantively absolutely none of his business. Questions such: “What do you do in life?” Answer: “I am student”; Q:“How do you get money? (head motioning towards my car), A:“I work”; Q:“Where?” A:“At the Party Supermarket”[cf. D135]; Q:“The What???” A: “The Party.... Super....Market”; Q:“[Oh yeah] What do you do there?” A:“Help people party”; Q:“What???”, A:“Help...people...party”. Manifestly feeling now a bit “threatened,” moreover with me actually sitting right up to the back of the front bank seat of his car, in the middle, he told me to ‘sit back’. To which I matter-of-factly replied, as it was factually the case: “Take off these handcuff and I’ll sit just fine.” Indeed it was impossible to normally sit back with those regular back seats in his police car. (Cf. below in %) By then he began to understand that I was not going to tell him/answer anything substantively serious, and probably realizing that he was coming across as being unlawful, he asked me about a license plate that I had on the front bumper of my car, which was facing us. It was an old, real but expired, Quebec license plate which I had gotten from my father when he sold our van after moving to Florida with it, and since Florida only required a license on the back, I had, commemoratively, as it was actually quite commonly done in Florida, especially by “transplants” from other States, put this Quebec License plate on the front. He warned me that this was illegal, which greatly surprised me. I then figured that it must only be illegal in places which required license plates on the front and rear of a vehicle.@

            So to make a long segment short here, when we eventually arrived at the police station ca. 6.5 miles away[D231], with me having not talked to him any further in the car, as soon as he uncuffed me, and with now other police officers present, I... “let him have it” in regards to this being an ‘unlawful arrest and a violation of my civil rights’ as he “NEVER HAD HIS LIGHTS ON”. I had waited for him to first  uncuff me before angrily blurting this out just in case he wanted to vexatiously use “force” against me for saying this in this intended reciprocally deserved way. That, embarrassingly, completely caught him by surprise, and I went on to learn the lesson here of ‘not silently expecting, even a police officer, to do the right thing’ as saving face is most likely to be chosen, and he and the other officers there, proceeded to still charge me with “eluding an officer” which was a $450 fine, on top of the ca. $200 for the speeding (which he could only limit to his clocked 97  mph). Since I did not have the money to pay for them, and since my AAA Speeding Fine-paying provision could not be applied when there were other charges involved, and as most of my road trip travel money was in the credit form of a Mobil and a Chevron gas card [which I charged for ca. $700 for that 8600-mile trip], they placed me in the jail adjacent to that Police Station[D232; D228b; cf. D180a - photos taken a year later (August 1997) while on my way to Andrews] until my mom could wire, and have processed, which took a total of ca. 4 hours, this $650 via the required Western Union money transfer. I considered making the best of this situation and speaking on religious issues with my jail house mates, but I was so upset by this, indeed unfair in its extent, turn of events, that I couldn’t honoringly do so. And just slept for most of those 4 hours.

            When the money transfer was finally complete and I was immediately released, and then had traumatically got a ride to the garage[D233] where my car had been impounded ca. 1.5 miles away,[see in D234] from another officer, that garage’s owner, noticing that I was looking through my stuff in the car to see if anything was missing, (in relation to which, I had had actually seen, from my jail house window, the “(falsely) arresting” officer doing an inventory of all that I had in the car), vexatiously said that ‘he had not touched anything just as the officer had told him,’ which I indeed saw was manifestly true as he did not even turn off the brightly lighted red power button that powered on my 700 Watt amplifier system, along with the DC to AC power for my CD Changer and MiniDisc systems, (in fact the music from my system was still playing, shuffling through the 100 CD’s, at the low level that I had reduced it when the officer had first pulled me over), to the point that this powering switch soon after overheated and blew (i.e., melted down) from this non-normal, partly pent up power flowing into it, but not proportionately enough, also out of it.

            I still tried to dispute the resulting, reckoned $140 towing/impounding cost stemming from this false arrest and false imprisonment, to which the garage’s owner said that it was because ‘his tow truck had been tied up for ca. 2 hours.’ As I was refusing to pay this additional “penalty”, and when he saw I actually could enter my locked car, though he had the keys, through the door’s keyless entry system, although I had a back up key on me in my wallet, I didn’t use it, not wanting to falsely alarm him. I just wanted to turn off my stereo system and check if all my stuff was there. However he did become falsely alarmed and called the police, to which a detective and two other officers came. I tried to explain to them that this whole charge, imprisonment and impounding was legally false, but he finally insisted that I pay the “towing fee”. And then when he subsequently proceeded to hint that ‘he was going to arrest me, for (now) “trespassing”’, after I  pointed out that my car was on the property (on top of being legally falsely there), I spun on my heels and just left them, to their surprise, standing there, to effectively so “play around” with themselves. Frankly I felt as if I had stepped by into backwards America. I made my walk across the street, to a phone cabin, to again call my mom so that she could transfer to my bank account this added amount, all the while watching these “stranded” officers trying to figure out what to do now, and then finally deciding to leave while I was still on the phone. A short while later I had the money to pay that cost, but from then considered suing the Police Department for these civil right violations, and, [may still do so, under an exception statute of limitations request given applicable and valid circumstances which prevented an earlier prosecuting.]

            All this to say that this experience turned out to be “beneficial”. On one hand, I became more aware of my speed during the rest of that trip, though I got another speeding ticket.@@ Along these “beneficial” lines, the father in a relative family where I stayed over for a couple of days in Atlanta, while attending the free areas/attractions of the 1996 Olympics, (3 days before that Centennial Park’s Bombing), probably put it in its best perspective, and as I tamingly, “inspiredly” took it, when he albeit sternly said, after having heard at what speed I was driving: ‘you’re lucky you only had to call your mom to bail you out, at such speeds, the next time they’ll be calling to ‘identify the body’!

            Relatedly, but succinctly said here, from then on, pointedly after the end of the trip, when the travelling euphoria had wore off to where I began to more deeply ponder the legal implications of these transpired events, I did not then give, even Law Enforcement, the “benefit of the doubt,” and indeed every time I either preemptively or subsequently challenged them, on even the littlest of omitted facts and/or non-conforming procedural action, among other pertinent/applicable issues, I was able to either preempt, or have thrown out in court (2.5X)@@@, 11 traffic (speeding+) citations, including most notably, in August 1999, when again driving through Georgia, (probably the strictest state in regards to speeding as it automatically arrests people above a certain speed), when the officer who wanted to ticket for speeding (75/70), along his claim of me ‘not having a safe following distance,’ and quasi-quibblingly, ‘a license plate ornament that he said was obstruction my tags,’ literally took off scurrying back to his car, indeed leaving me standing there between my car and his, when I pointed out that he should be ticketed for having hazardously stood by, transversely, with the front end of his car well into the emergency shoulder, as he, and as he admitted, was just controlling traffic, and not trying to get on the highway. He actually only stopped his flight to literally double check if I was done with him. I.e., if I was indeed not going to perform a Citizen’s Arrest for his infraction. Before I could even start my car to leave he was long gone. (It seems to me, after running my plate (which was similarly personalized as my previous Florida one[D229b vs. D229a]), that he was aware of previous false arrest and imprisonment episode. Hence his odd “fleeing” reaction here when I objected and ‘counter cited’ him.) All this to say, and with Eschatological, Spiritual implications now: ‘Whereas before I may have let things go, now, “It’s on”!! I.e.,: ‘If Law Enforcement is going to cite my for a violation of Law, then they themselves better not be unlawfully violating it!! (cf. John 18:22, 23).

           

@ I, later on in that trip, having left that front tag on, found out that it was indeed greatly frowned upon in States which required two license plates, as while stopped at a light in Jersey City, NJ with my friend travelling with me, (who I had previously picked up in Toronto and drove back to Chicago which he wanted to see), I saw in my two side mirrors, two scrubbly dressed men running up towards me along either side of my car. They both then simultaneously looked into our completely rolled down windows, and I was about to, defensively, literally run the one next to me over, making a sharp left u-turn out of my leftmost lane and into the empty opposing traffic lanes, when I noticed a necklace around his neck with the word “Police” dangling from them. As I did not see that as formal identification if he indeed was a police officer, (i.e., vs. an official Police badge with a serial identification), and as moreoverly, neither of them vocally identified themselves as ‘Police’, as they were especially supposed to do in such undercover “interventions”, I was going to proceed with this overrunning U-Turn when the one next to me, motioned as if he was reaching for a gun behind him. Still not knowing if these were tugs or police officers, I figuring that no one would be dumb enough to engage in a car jacking in a middle of a busy intersection, in the middle of the day, so I put the car in park, shut it off and got out of the car, indeed before this “guy” pulled out a weapon. I had to assume they were police because they never went on to say so, nor tell us why they had stopped us. And here again, still assuming that they were police, again could not comprehend ‘where, effectively, the fire was’. I.e., why all the Police drama here. He was actually surprised by how quickly I then fully “complied” with this manifest arresting procedure, with me going ahead putting my hands on the roof and spreading my legs, having “learned” this, or rather been traumatized into this reaction by the Georgia mal-experience some 10 days before, and he manifestly thought that he had captured an otherwise culpable, even “warrant dodging” criminal. A little while later, I saw a couple of marked police cars, lights flashing, come, all haphazardly into the traffic to where we were and it is actually only then that I knew for sure that I was actually dealing with Police. In fact I wanted to make a complaining statement about this to those arrived uniformed police, but then realized that they were actually ‘on the same side’.

            Then the other undercover officer jumped into my car, and like a kid in a candy store, was euphorically looking about at all of the electronic gadgets in the car, even being baffled at first that he could not see anything on the dashboard, since I had turned the car completely off, thus shutting off the digidash, leaving only a black “screen”. I became worried at this quite unprofessional behavior and “interest” in my car as they then proceeded to put us into one of the marked police car,% and still not having told us why we had been stopped, and now arrested. It was finally at the police station, after having virtually rummaged through my personal belongings and questioned me on almost all of the content of my wallet, indeed card by card, especially my 6 credit/store cards, to which I responded that if he had a problem with me having them, he just had to complain to the credit companies/merchandiser who had issued them to me. It is actually only after all this charade that he pointed out that they had stopped me because I have two different license plates on the car. I just could not believe that all this commotion had been for that, to the point that when he handed me the taken-off expired Quebec license plate, I just left him holding it. It is was so “dangerously” illegal, and since I actually did not care for it as much as they made it seem to be, then he, literally, ‘could keep it.’ While in Montreal, I replaced with a realistic looking, but fake, one[D229c].

            Outside, then back at my car, I, with the two undercover officer seated in their car behind me, recalling on one hand, the unprofessional “interest” of one of them in my car, and with the comment in mind that he had made to me in his questioning that: “I had a lot of “stuff” in my car,” and here finding a cigarette pack of theirs in my center console, [Really... you had to take a smoke in my car??!], I, having now attracted their attention by holding up that cigarette pack, and then chucking it aside into a grass patch beyond the sidewalk behind me, indeed so that they could see and understand why I was now going to search through my car, (and also for them not to mistake this for me looking for a weapon), I then proceeded to indeed thoroughly looked through my car, including/especially the packed trunk, to see if they had not “planted” something (illegal).

% With that police car having backless seats, it was indeed, as I had remarked during the “transport” in my Georgia arrest, easier to fully sit back while posteriorly handcuffed.

@@ For, quibblingly enough, doing 76 in a 70, and that at 3:00 A.M., in West Virginia on my return travel home. Though it was really a “Godsend” as the police officer, oddly enough, asked me to come sit next to him, i.e., in the front seat, of his car, as he wrote the ticket, where his teeth-rattling, Arctic cold A.C. literally woke me up for the rest of that night. (Perhaps he had noticed that I was drowsy and just wanted, at least, a “closer” ascertainment.).

            I also had 2 aborted Speed ticketing attempts, one, in Michigan, which was “called off” when I motioned to the officer behind me, signaling me to pull over, towards a car that he surely must have seen that had passed me at at least 10 mph higher than my 75 in this 65. And indeed after he passed me and sped on, I soon passed him having pulled over that car. (The second one was while driving in the city of Montreal, my trip’s ultimate/stay destination, when the also signaling officer who had pulled up behind me noticed my foreign tag[D232a] and decided to abort as I may not have known the low 30 mph speed limit in that area, which indeed, I did not.) 

@@@ These 2.5 court “wins” came out of an uncanny flurry of 3 tickets around a Sabbath on December 25/26, 1998, all within 22 hours. I got ticketed just before Sabbath on Friday just off the Andrews Campus, then the next morning while on my way to a preaching assignment at my Pastoral Practicum Church ca. 80 miles away from Andrews, and then another one on my way back home. I was not aware at all of any of going at those claimed speeding excesses, namely and respectively: [41/25 (+stop sign)]; [91/70]; [85/55] which all shocked me and, in the last two cases, probably influenced the officers to drop them to [75/70] and [80/55]. However I still challenged all of them for various observed key disculpatory issues. In the first case, the officer didn’t show up for the informal hearing, so I won by default (though I was well prepared to substantively, and determinatively, challenge the accuracy of all his claimed infractions, namely along the lines that what he said he saw did not match what he actually wrote down). In the second, I used a just explained ‘radar process/methodology’ by the presiding magistrate to point out that the officer’s claim was not conclusive and likely erroneous in pinpointing that it was my car that was speeding as he had been driving on the opposite side of the highway with dense traffic both way. The officer’s last effort attempt to point out that this was for a claimed 91/70 violation didn’t prevent him from losing. And in the third, the “half” win, because of several added, and key inconsistencies brought up during the informal hearing, I filed for a formal court process.[Though I still have all of the documentation for all of these ticketing, litigating/judicial instances, they have not been posted as not really being substantively necessary.] This time, as actually normative for them for a formal hearing, the officer had a lawyer. I indeed seriously had several reasons not only to challenge his citation claim, but also his core/functional credibility/integrity (as that ticket was on the face of these inconsistencies seemingly a “ghost ticket” as many things just didn’t logically/rationally add up nor check out). However the whole, and not anticipated, formality of the process (including the officer having a lawyer, which I did not at all expect) actually greatly flustered me where I could not properly make my case and arguments, still I made enough of a case for the judge to drop the citation down to 70/55 and also waive any court fees. Due to the actionable fact that this change of claimed speed was, technically, ‘a number picked out of thin air,’ and indeed really actually had any sort of tangible supporting proof, I indicated in, actually, upsetly leaving before had the judge ended the proceeding, while he was still writing down his decision, and after I had intimatedly posed to him: ‘where was his proof for this new speed claim’, that I was going to appeal.

            I later decided, all things considered, including displacement & court costs, not file for an appeal, and just paid that reduced fine. Yet for merely reasons of principle, I wish I had, indeed just to set this, at least litigatious, precedence that, ‘it really should be “all that (i.e., exactly what) is claimed/cited/charged or nothing”’. Though I had not known at all at what speed I was going, yet had answered under examination, (actually by the judge) that I was ‘“probably” speeding’; (as 56/55 technically/actually would be “speeding”), a response that the officer’s lawyer harped all over with lawyerese and referential case law “jargon”, my legal/litigation view/philosophy here was that this, actually generous, concession, (as I legally should have, indeed honestly/“truthfully” said that ‘I didn’t know if I was speeding or not’, - so I conversely actually made a false statement under oath by conceding this “probably”), a ruling could, and should, have been made for just a 56/55 citation. That new claim of 70/55, however common in judicial proceedings, was indeed purely made up, and had no concrete evidence in itself at all. Indeed the courts, and their rulings can be quite fickle/whimsical. Case in point, I opted to court for my very first traffic ticket back in 1994 [speeding: 62/45], and after pleading “No Contest” before the judge, the case was actually dropped because the actually present, ticketing officer who was going through a series of tickets he had given in a common court presence, said that he did not have/bring the paperwork for my ticket. As the ruling judge said: “Well this must be your lucky day...”. In parting, I actually quasi-frowningly looked at both of them with the accompanying one raised eyebrow, intimatingly asking ‘you guys can’t be serious’. My actual reason and deeper question here was in regards to this local/county judicial systems as a whole: specifically: “so people can get away with a law enforcement violation simply because such a ‘no present paperwork’ reasons??!

[30] A similar plans-alteration had occurred earlier in my college career as, in 1995, with my two years at a community College (MDCC) having been completed which had been mostly paid by a High School Scholarship Award[D215], I then made plans to move on to a 4-year university. I first seriously considered, and endeavored to attend, Andrews University in their Electrical Engineering program, but did not complete those efforts[D216] when I realized how similarly costly this was going to compared to any secular universities. (From my sister’s recounted experiences at another SDA College (Oakwood) for now 2 years, and my own awareness from the stories of ex-students there that AU was not that much better, if not in certain areas, worst, (cf. this post), it seemed way too high of a “price” to pay, for “not much” -spiritual-atmosphere wise. So I then opted to ‘kill 2 birds of mine with 1 stone’ by (1) endeavoring to return to my hometown of Montreal to attend the EE program at McGill University, which, (2) as a native Canadian, would be much cheaper tuition-wise. I fully completed, and followed through, with this application, however when I called a friend in Montreal to announce to him this news, just after I had mailed the application, his topically ominously-sounding warning that ‘there were no jobs in Montreal’ absolutely spooked me. The last thing I wanted was to get stuck in Montreal with no work (and not really wanting to live elsewhere in Canada), either during school or after I completed it, and then, furthermore, have difficulty competing for employment in potentially the U.S. with this Canadian degree, if that was my best option then. So I decided to, literally, have my application to McGill asap pulled (no need, if possible, to waste the $65.00 application fee), and it was indeed withdrawn and, as requested, not even opened up.[D217] (I later that month picked it up in person while on a Spring Break vacation in Montreal.) And so I then remained in South Florida to pursue for my EE university studies attending Florida International University.

[31] I indeed felt that this “extra” month long stay was “holy” time, as I could have been in school studying Theology at CAUC, and therefore did not want to spend it on trivial matters. At first, seeing nothing productive to do, and making some money that I could use towards my studies would be helpful, I had, at the job-opening notification of my friend, tired to get a temporary job in a small manufacturing plant in a nearby light industry park. So I went to that hiring job site and filled in an application, however, I all along felt that it would not be fair to take the job knowing that I would quite in a month, probably causing someone else who needed this job to lose it, and that half-heartedness probably came through during my brief interview with the boss. So I was quite glad when I was not called for it.

            Previously, in the category of “where were you when?”, while I was in our then vacant rental house, with barely a little more than a thin mattress and a radio for furniture/amenities, I, on that first Saturday night, was boredly turning through the radio stations looking for something worthwhile to listen to from this wholly secular field of station. (I had overplayed the ca. 12 Christian CD that I had selectively brought along, [having left my other 300+ CD’s with my other stuff in Andrew’s dorm storage]). I did find a relatively good music station, and during the newscast, it was announced that Princess Diana had just been killed in a car accident in Paris. What really caught my now paramount Theological mindset then was the subsequent outpouring of emotion throughout the world towards her, and what she had come to socio-humanitarianly represent for many. The following week, I made it a point to watch the entire ca. 6 hours of a recording of the broadcast of her funeral that my uncle ([see in D182]) had done. So as to not overly disturb anyone, not having a TV or VCR at home, I did this long viewing while visiting, as it was customary by then during that stay, the downtown McGill University campus, in their A/V room. While also visiting that campus during my stay, I attended a Muslim-Christian meeting that had been organized on campus, as this would also be helpful to my studies and ministry plans. I wanted to also get a better understanding for the past 1993 WTC bombing, which had caused me to have a default animosity towards Muslims.*

            What turned out to probably/potentially be the most worthwhile thing that I managed to do during this stay was, while attending a Religious Liberty conference (on my second Friday - September 5, 1997) held in an SDA Church, then with a GC representative in this department, John Graz. When my friends informed me about it, what had interested me to go was that I thought they had said that the speaker would be ‘John Grys’, as this person had been my youth pastor for a couple of years back in Miami. I was disappointed when I got to Church and saw that it was not as I had thought, when John Graz got up to speak. I admittedly was quite annoyedly bored by the presentation, as I, by then, had a growing Biblical understanding that such, inherently ‘last days persecution’ messages would become moot if the actual Gospel work, which involved preaching a most sound message, which is why I was seeking formal theological education and going into the ministry, was not done, as I clearly saw that it was not being done. So by the time the meeting finally ended, I was visibly most annoyed at what had essentially been, ‘an ominous warning of growing/marshalling persecutive developments in the world.’ I however innately knew that God would not allow such things to unravel (cf. Rev 7:1-3) if the work had not been done, so I strongly felt that this should not be the type of, practically, run-for-the-hills, message that, especially the GC should be presenting to the Churches. So when the meeting ended, I got up, and was frustratedly walking out, when I then glanced across to the other side of the Church and saw a French Canadian guy who was a childhood, family acquaintance. I was going to go over to greet him, however I was so uncontrollably upset from that message, moreover feeling that he may not understand the reason, I felt that it would be better not to. However, as he had been an exemplary youth leader (see his testimony here (2010-08-21 sermon) [mp4] [mp3]), I was wondering to myself, why God had not also laid this burden on Him to go into the ministry as a youth, in the light of this manifest non-work and false alarming message by, even quite manifestly here, also the top level of the Church. So I was proceeding to continue to walk towards the exit, when I came across the pew where an also family friend[cf. D224, D225] since my childhood, and who I had met, and long spoken with, the weekend before while visiting another Church. He, along with his wife, had been brought to the SDA, even, at least, non-nominal, Christian, message by the personal evangelistic work of my father and his constant Bible Work companion, my godfather, when they knocked on his door in the late 1970's. After accepting the message, he went on to study for the ministry a little later at the Collognes SDA College in France.** So upon seeing him here again, here in relation to that other French Canadian friend, a flood of anecdotes came to my mind virtually pushing me to go to speak to acquaintance.

            The first of these anecdotal recollections was indeed the fact that this now pastor had  indeed gone on to become a pastor, and being Belgian, he was one of the few Caucasian pastors in this Quebec Conference, which had a population field who were predominately French-Canadian/Québécois. So I found that need to be a first reason why I should go over and speak to that acquaintance to see if he too would become aware of this tangible local, culturally, relationally sensitive, and helpful evangelistic need/possibility. This pastor family friend apparently noticed that reasoning of mine, and seeing my hesitation, shrug his shoulders as if to intimate that such racial issues were a non-factor for him. Indeed he would make this most point explicitly known in his ministry when he later would repeatedly tell of his conversion story in various local Churches, making an emphatic point of this saying: “I, of all people, cannot begin to be a racist, because it was two black men who brought me to Christ and the Adventist message.’ In pointedly saying this, he was especially trying to counter growing calls and attempts around that time to split that Conference into North and South Conferences which would naturally result in a racial/cultural split, -as it was made most clear to me, while on a visit to the Northern Quebec church of a colporteur (CYC 2000)[D243] friend in March 2000, when the local elder, (J.G. T - now on the It Is Written Quebec team), who was later featured/interviewed on a program of the GC’s Global Mission broadcast aired on 3ABN, which focused on the work in Quebec, when he bluntly and candidly expressed that ‘the need for this separate Northern conference was because the Southern part of the Province, [where most of the Conferences’ members lived, -living around the Montreal area], “were all Ethnics”’, indeed quasi-verbatim re-echoing the infamous thought/statement of a Sovereignty Political Party Leader after a 1995 Provincial Separation Referendum 1.12% loss (cf. here), spuriously blaming it (most pertinently) on the “Ethnic Vote”. (That does not begin to realistically compute, as even today, only 9% of the entire Quebec population are visible minorities.). Being, moreoverly, the only “Ethnic” person in the audience then, I was quite shocked by that bigotedly loaded statement, and pointedly glared at him while he was on the pulpit, which he could not ignore, to make him realized exactly what he had just said. He, even unflappabingly, defiantly looked back. Later, after Church, I made a point of point of shaking hands with everyone around him, except for him. All I could then laughingly say to all of this in my head at this unchristian mindlessness was that: ‘in Heaven, we’re all going to be Ethnics.’ I.e., get with God’s program. (Indeed, it in fact is from the Greek word for “Gentiles” that we get this, even Theological, “Ethnic” term).

            Anyway, seeing that pastor friend that Friday Night (who actually later, is now pastoring that Northern Quebec Conference Church, after he had been assigned to an all-Ghanian/African congregation, and (no doubt, as his custom was) shared with them his conversion testimony, probably just as pointedly as he customarily would (as other Church friends related to us, as he would mention my father by name***), that brought that hindering local racial issue to my concern here. Still not quite convinced to do this, I therefore was then, addedly, literally made to recall a related incident of my father’s, which indeed did convince me to go ahead and do this.

            That related incident was when, in ca. the early 80's, as my parents were members of the first SDA Church in Quebec, since their immigration to Montreal in 1969(f) & 70(m), which had been founded by various white SDA, mostly Québécois and French Europeans, along with some other Caucasian immigrants. My father was one of the few non-white members in the Church, but everyone got along perfectly. Race was a total non-issue amongst them. Then around this time, of around the turn of the 1980's, as foreign Canadian immigration had been greatly increased and many people, especially from the nearby French-speaking Haiti, were immigrating to Quebec, and most of these SDA immigrants from Haiti were joining this virtually lone, flagship, French Church, where, by now, most of the members were non-whites and mostly Haitian, one of those newly joining members had the “inspired idea” to make an new ministry initiative to be only exclusive to/for Haitian people. My father, immediately categorically opposed this baseless, racial sectarian effort to the point where the one who was marshalling these efforts would no longer shake his hand in Church. Such campaigns however came to make the increasingly minority white members feel unwanted and eventually led to most of them graciously leaving the Church to start other Churches. Indeed “graciously” as they, as the founding members of that Church, were the ones who had paid to have build that flagship Church from the ground up. And it was the most beautiful French Church in Montreal, and is still regarded as the Flagship, and largest (ca. 750 members), Church in the Quebec Conference. (Indeed it was the one where this 1997, Conference-wide, Religious Liberty meeting was being held, as most Conference (Francophone) meetings are.) But they raised no issue on that fact.**** Most went to form a new Church in the unentered Montreal South Shore and my father, along with several other families, desiring to also “enter” the opposite unentered Montreal North Shore, went to start a new Church towards that region. They initially met for Services in the basement of a local, northern Montreal, English Church, during ca. 1981-83. Later on, in ca. 1984, that group moved further north, across the river which surrounded Montreal, to the Island City of Laval, the third largest city in the Province of Quebec (formerly called Jesus Island), and established the first SDA congregation in that city/community, which now has been seconded by another Church. (When in 1985 a large group of Québecois were converted by a evangelistic meeting by (the now apostasied) French evangelist Gérald Dis*****, the Conference took that newly formed group and joined it to the Laval Group forming the Laval [West] Church[D221 - official, joining Sabbath, picture].

            So it was pointedly the ‘non-handshaking event stemming out of a race implicating difference’ that was brought to my mind at this time and impelled me to, in imitation of the racial bridging actions of my father, cross over to the other side where this French Canadian, childhood acquaintance was, and, at least, share with him my decision to go into the ministry, to see if that would not come to peak his interest to also do this, especially given the local, made-essential, need to have local Québécois pastors in order to reach out the general population. So I did indeed went over to where he was and cordially met with him, and did go on to share my recent experiences and efforts to go and study for the ministry. He gradually realized that I was indeed implying/inviting him to also do the same, an invitation which I crowned by intimating this most apparent, great evangelistic need for local pastors.  And so, with that said and related to him, I left, and to my surprise and delight three years later, in the summer of 2000, probably after this sowed/planted ‘ministry seed’ had go on to bud, he did indeed do so, going to CAUC to study Theology, and has since been a pastor in the Canadian Union Conference. And, given the exemplary Christian devotion and enthusiasm that he always had, which had indeed made me see him as a prime candidate to be a pastor, he has also been a guest on the It Is Written Canada telecast. (His mother works with the distinct It Is Written Quebec (= French) telecast. So that latter encounter alone, with this probably-borne-from decision to join the ministry, made this one month stay over in Montreal most worthwhile.

* [Cf. D223 - a 1996 roadtrip photo, while in Chicago, which, as seen, I had punly captioned in my trip’s photo album as: “A Drive-by Shooting”. (It was taken by a mid-trip joining friend, who had noticed, and wanted to also capture, my deliberatedly-manifested, animostic attitude, teemming from the then recent (1993) World Trade Center Car Bombing. In fact, I would, more (Religiously) orneryly than (“patriotically”) proudly, wear my: “I Survived Terror at the Towers” T-shirt[D245&D246])]] (For all due fairness on this ongoing tense, socio-political issue, do see my related “Islamophobia” section in this blog post, which sets forth my current understandings on this issue, indeed based upon being more objectively, and less Western-propagandizedly, informed.)

** In pertinent relation to my growing, inherent hatred for Capitalism, indeed probably inceptively brought about by the following related incident, when this, to-become, pastor friend was preparing to leave for Collonges, France in the early 1980, he, seeing that my father had a very undependable car, sold us, at a very good/under market value (perhaps -60%), price, his 1976 Ford Maverick car. It instantly became my favorite car, and we had it for ca. the next 4-5 years, until it, having then recently had some mechanical problems, left us stranded in a mall parking lot late one Saturday night. My uncle came to assist us, however when it was seen that the problem was going to require a garage visit, my parents called a tow truck. However while I was sitting with my sister in my uncle’s car, I did not know that, at the indication of the car’s probable/evident problem by the tow truck driver, they had decided to inst